Me Time!
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dd2 esp. is the one wants to walk home, try not to ‘disturb’ me whenever I need to make trips just to pick her up. I always need to tell her I m really ok to make the trips. Sometimes I do think it is not very good to complain in front of them eg. say I m tired etc coz they may take it seriously…and ended up I don’t get to hear their ‘exact’ problems. Everything also ok one.
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MKS, i can understand the kids tend to open up and talk more with us during the car ride. But it is not necessarily the only way. Eg u can modify to taking an easy stroll (or other activity like washing the car; washing dishes) after dinner, maybe they will also be inclined to chitchat with us that way.
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zac's mum\" post_id=\"2124263\" time=\"1701676763\" user_id=\"53606:[quote=\"zac's mum\" post_id=2124263 time=1701676763 user_id=53606]
We have never had a car to drive the kids to and from school! I didn't even accompany them to school most of the time. So I also agree that driving is not necessary to have conversations with kids, and your drives are very short anyway. In my family, the good conversations happened either over meals, or after our family devotions (we are Christians) every evening. These were daily when they were younger, and reduced in frequency as they got older, but we still managed 3-4 times a week even when they were doing A levels. You can try to create some schedule for such opportunities too.
MKS, i can understand the kids tend to open up and talk more with us during the car ride. But it is not necessarily the only way. Eg u can modify to taking an easy stroll (or other activity like washing the car; washing dishes) after dinner, maybe they will also be inclined to chitchat with us that way.[/quote]
The other thing is to ask questions that they can't answer by saying yes/no/fine/ok! I got a good deal of that when they were teenagers, and my older girl still gives me those if I don't phrase my questions properly. So ask questions like \"What did you do during xxx lesson today?\", \"Who did you talk to during recess today?\" etc. -
The 2 confide in each other alot more now. Whenever I say a little bit more to one of them. The other will say mommy don’t worry, she knows one…她知道的啦…so I can stop my nag…they help each other… before covid both will argue and the younger one will come near me with her lips pout say jiejie lor. Now is different. Sometimes I do find I need to guess.
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MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2124249\" time=\"1701668768\" user_id=\"43981:
MKS,
Yes leeyl many dilemmas. My dd's stamina is not the strong type. I actually would like her to try for UG, go marching maybe look wise can be a bit tougher. After cca, I see a 'withered' girl when I went to pick her up. She was on 2 days long hours cca but in sec it it going to be longer hours and more days. Sec cca cannot anyhow change right esp for O lvl students. Before psle she already said she want that cca in sec so I was hoping if can get into ip then will be good coz at least no national exam in y4. Now we need to look at points and also exam. So maybe I should pray for failed audition? And also reminded me of dd1 kept taking on competitions during psle year when some others tried to avoid. Will regret de.
It’s a good opportunity to let yr child choose sth she likes. Tho it seems she gets what she wants, u get to hv yr girl show u how she can become more independent to manage her time against her desire & u hv the enjoyment to see yr girl grow up to be more responsible for her success.
Not sure abt yr girl’s new sch but our experience is that the teachers will advise & guide them how best to maximize their time, care for their health & balance their academic. Give her more freedom & trust to stretch & grow. I’m sure as she matures to become a young lady, she’ll be more conscious abt her health & take more personal responsibility for her wellness. -
Thanks esteema. Will let her decide. She has few likes. If she goes for this, she may need to forgo at least 2 other likes. She should be taking hcl. Though she doesn’t like the tuition, she may need to go for it sooner than later. Double the number of subjects, not only time is not enough… she needs to also endure pain due to her certain condition. It was already very painful for her when she was on lesser hours and number of days. This is going to be almost double. My heart will be in pain for not only seeing her enduring her pain but also her getting disappointed for seeing her other likes one by one, getting out of touch.
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Received $$ from G already? I have received mine.
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slmkhoo\" post_id=\"2124264\" time=\"1701677186\" user_id=\"28674:
What can we do to avoid the trap of being \"naggy\" to our children? I think even if you choose your words so they can't answer with a yes/no answer, you can't avoid being seen as \"naggy\". But if you avoid talking to your kids, they might just think you are not interested in what they do and so don't tell you anything except the most important things.
...
So I also agree that driving is not necessary to have conversations with kids, and your drives are very short anyway. In my family, the good conversations happened either over meals, or after our family devotions (we are Christians) every evening. These were daily when they were younger, and reduced in frequency as they got older, but we still managed 3-4 times a week even when they were doing A levels. You can try to create some schedule for such opportunities too.
The other thing is to ask questions that they can't answer by saying yes/no/fine/ok! I got a good deal of that when they were teenagers, and my older girl still gives me those if I don't phrase my questions properly. So ask questions like \"What did you do during xxx lesson today?\", \"Who did you talk to during recess today?\" etc.
It's a tricky situation. I recall hearing a conversation between a P6 girl and her mother and it was so refreshing as they chatted like they were friends, and not just parent and child. I wished I could achieve that :love: -
MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2124280\" time=\"1701708534\" user_id=\"43981:
What money? I want! I go check my bank account.
Received $$ from G already? I have received mine.
PS. I just checked. Wah... I'm rich
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ChiefKiasu\" post_id=\"2124283\" time=\"1701733617\" user_id=\"3:
It's starts with a good relationship, I guess. I might have been the mother you overheard! I've always been able to chat with my girls about anything, even when they were little, and still do now they are adult. I think the way not to sound naggy is to be genuinely interested in what they respond, not simply to check that they aren't doing anything you would disapprove of, or to lead into reminders to do something. I think it's symptomatic of something amiss if children regard genuine questions from parents as nagging. If a friend asked the same question, it would probably be regarded as genuine interest. And when we get together with friends, we do ask them about their work, interests and activities.
What can we do to avoid the trap of being \"naggy\" to our children? I think even if you choose your words so they can't answer with a yes/no answer, you can't avoid being seen as \"naggy\". But if you avoid talking to your kids, they might just think you are not interested in what they do and so don't tell you anything except the most important things.
It's a tricky situation. I recall hearing a conversation between a P6 girl and her mother and it was so refreshing as they chatted like they were friends, and not just parent and child. I wished I could achieve that :love:
As the older person, I take it as my responsibility to bridge the gap (the young person usually won't be motivated to) - so I do try to keep abreast of what's interesting to them, keep track of their friends' interests as well, share stories of my schooling days and other things that they can relate to, especially the incidents when I did something silly/wrong etc. They need to know that I've done my share of dumb things but recovered and survived. Asking them to explain modern-day buzzwords, fads etc also means that I understand their world better, and they get to show off to the \"old lady\"! I also spend time each week with a bunch of 30-somethings, and we get along fine too - with them, I also share stories of parenting and job woes, and offer advice if asked.
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