Me Time!

[Liew Nga Wing]

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2124430\" time=\"1701903734\" user_id=\"43981:

After 2 nights troubling by it. Last night finally could feel the relief. Quite a surprise to me or most kids are like that..everything seems back to normal self. (I did tell her chg of CCA later will subject to vacancies).

Looked at the photos from hp on the day we started our holiday. There is only 3.5weeks left before school reopen. All kids must enjoy the remaining school holidays! Told myself must bring kids out more often also.

Very thankful to all mommies, my online friends :love:

You finally achieve what you want - of course you are feeling relief now. But how the kid really feel? Actually, I did not argue with my mother.... I just let her scold me in front of all family members but swear to myself I will never talk to her. :mad:

[MrsKiasu]

lee_yl\" post_id=\"2124432\" time=\"1701908195\" user_id=\"17023:

Told you right I am surprised by your recent posts, so it’s not unexpected that your DH is surprised too.
You are not your normal self !!!

Anyway, glad that your family has come to a conclusion.

真的吗。。 i will be happy honestly. But I know next mth I will become softie again.

[sharonkhoo]

Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=\"2124434\" time=\"1701909312\" user_id=\"195250:[quote=\"Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=2124434 time=1701909312 user_id=195250]
You finally achieve what you want - of course you are feeling relief now. But how the kid really feel? Actually, I did not argue with my mother.... I just let her scold me in front of all family members but swear to myself I will never talk to her. :mad:[/quote]

I think the reaction of the child depends very much on the existing relationship with the parent. In MKS' case, I believe her daughter knows that any action her mother takes arises out of love, and concern for her future. Even if she feels upset or angry, it will only be for a short time.

[MrsKiasu]

Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=\"2124434\" time=\"1701909312\" user_id=\"195250:[quote=\"Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=2124434 time=1701909312 user_id=195250]
You finally achieve what you want - of course you are feeling relief now. But how the kid really feel? Actually, I did not argue with my mother.... I just let her scold me in front of all family members but swear to myself I will never talk to her. :mad:[/quote]

Dd seems fine with the new arrangement. Yesterday evening when dh asked her abt it. She went on to add 1 more plan .. her music lesson.

Hope the issue with your mom will slowly improve. It will take time. Sometimes a lifetime. It will go up and down along the way.

[sharonkhoo]

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2124436\" time=\"1701909982\" user_id=\"43981:

But I know next mth I will become softie again.

If you want your good plans to bear good fruit, you have to be determined to be consistent and not give up or give in too soon. Give yourself 6 months at least before considering any \"softening\".

Look at it this way - you have asked your daughter to make a sacrifice for her own good. As a parent, do whatever you can to make that sacrifice worthwhile (in terms of improving her habits and performance), otherwise her sacrifice will be a waste. Remember that this is not a battle between you and her - you are not imposing your will on her simply as an exercise of power or for your own benefit, but because you believe it is for her own long-term good.

I often reminded my kids that it would be a lot easier on me if I let them do whatever they liked, and didn't care about their future. But as a responsible parent, I had to think about their future while they were too young to know the repercussions of their actions. Of course, I considered their feelings as well, and wouldn't push them beyond their abilities, but I was still the mature adult, and they younger and less mature. And it wasn't as if I just issued an edict and left it at that - I did as much as I could to help them learn and succeed too, which was hard work for me!

[Liew Nga Wing]

Deleted.

[zac's mum]

I’m sure we have all heard this before regarding the 3 broad parenting types:

Authoritarian
Permissive
Authoritative

[MrsKiasu]

slmkhoo\" post_id=\"2124440\" time=\"1701913005\" user_id=\"28674:

If you want your good plans to bear good fruit, you have to be determined to be consistent and not give up or give in too soon. Give yourself 6 months at least before considering any \"softening\".

Look at it this way - you have asked your daughter to make a sacrifice for her own good. As a parent, do whatever you can to make that sacrifice worthwhile (in terms of improving her habits and performance), otherwise her sacrifice will be a waste. Remember that this is not a battle between you and her - you are not imposing your will on her simply as an exercise of power or for your own benefit, but because you believe it is for her own long-term good.

I often reminded my kids that it would be a lot easier on me if I let them do whatever they liked, and didn't care about their future. But as a responsible parent, I had to think about their future while they were too young to know the repercussions of their actions. Of course, I considered their feelings as well, and wouldn't push them beyond their abilities, but I was still the mature adult, and they younger and less mature. And it wasn't as if I just issued an edict and left it at that - I did as much as I could to help them learn and succeed too, which was hard work for me!

Thanks slmkhoo. Whenever I think of it I tell myself this will be a better decision for her. Will try to ensure that she could make good for what been sacrificed so that she won't regret that much in future.

We have discussed on what options to be put in list and we agreed to totally exclude that one as don't want the whole process to start all over again. She has preference for some 2 days cca options but I cannot say NO anymore I feel. When school reopen, when she could see and feel it, that's when the reality will hit her..

[MrsKiasu]

zac's mum\" post_id=\"2124442\" time=\"1701914609\" user_id=\"53606:[quote=\"zac's mum\" post_id=2124442 time=1701914609 user_id=53606]
I’m sure we have all heard this before regarding the 3 broad parenting types:
Authoritarian
Permissive
Authoritative[/quote]

First and 3rd is different?

[Coolkidsrock2]

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2124438\" time=\"1701910330\" user_id=\"43981:

Dd seems fine with the new arrangement. Yesterday evening when dh asked her abt it. She went on to add 1 more plan .. her music lesson.

Hope the issue with your mom will slowly improve. It will take time. Sometimes a lifetime. It will go up and down along the way.

Just for sharing, one of my DD's friend joined an orchestra overseas and is now stationed/performing overseas. There is still a pathway in performing or fine arts, etc.

Art is gaining popularity as an asset class, so there will also be (more) opportunities in the industry over time.

Our kids generation is luckier than us in that they have less pressure to quickly find work to support the parents or ease the family's financial burden. They also have more options.