Me Time!

[Coolkidsrock2]

[*]

Estéema\" post_id=\"2124570\" time=\"1702101410\" user_id=\"66413:

Was just having a conversation with a dear frd with 2 special needs girls & youngest going to Melbourne & he’s really concern for her.


I highlighted a few points :-
Agree with your points below.

1. Help the young person build some life skills to function independently when away fr comfort of home - cook, super-marketing skills, attire hygiene, etc (I rmbr bringing my own iron & cooker).
Have been without helper for more than 5 years and kids had to help out, so very familiar with 持家 by the time DD left. DS will only go after NS, if he decides to go. Not a specific concern for us.

In my recent trip to London, I brought a special sauce for frd’s child as he misses his mum’s soya sauce chicken. I wld do some recipes with your child of their favourite so that they’ll find ways to do a nice meal to overcome homesickness. Comfort meals, homesickness can seriously affect their adjustment & moods.
DD eats out or do takeaway.

Set a request for regular calls to be initiated by yr young individual. Always stay in touch but don’t over-demand. It’s a good chance for the young person to find their independence & navigate their life. Just occasionally pop in.
This is what we do.

2. Have conversations [color=#000000]now[/color] of difference in culture - westerners think 18 yo ladies shld be liberated & not under parents’ constant control/instructions. Rmbr they’ve the tattoo, drugs/vaping & color hair, etc culture. Even innocent

My roommate dyed her hair green & blue just before her exams & by late Oct, her exams ended & parents got her tickets to return SG. She panicked & needed help to dye her hair back to black. “My mum will kill me if I go back in this colors!
I smilingly referenced her as \"a tree\" when she did that. Told her not to do blue as it will be 水淋头 or red to 火烧脑，inauspicious. Best keep to black to symbolise 发财 which is auspicious. No further plans to colour or dye hair again.

Fri night dormitories drinking session can hv gals getting dopes. A frd went with her besties thinking they’ll watch each other’s back. Her bestie was suggested to go get special door gifts & they left their drinks at the lounge seat but little did they realized the guys doped their drinks! If these are not your concerns then no worries. Each parent manage according to their personal/family values.
Have heard of friends' kids clubbing and partying even when here. My kids are not very sociable, but have still specifically warned kids of dorm drinking and drugs. Also gambling, vaping, etc. So far, do not get the sense of much social events. Everybody is busy studying, group studying still on-going at midnight when I called, or doing own things/internships/community engagement to build a better profile for international job placement application.

3. If yr child hv no driving skills, get them to use their time to learn now. It’s a chicken & egg thingy. Some prefers to get their license overseas as they perceive it’s easier to pass, some prefer to get their license so they can hit the ground running once they’ve settled. In big countries, it can render a Sporean child miserable not able to drive to get their grocery and ricochet to homesickness and then depression. I’ve seen many girls land themselves in relationships with guys who drives as they’re the most popular.
DH had a bad car accident when young, so will only allow them to take driving licence when they are older, hopefully more stable. But this is very specific to us, agree that being able to drive when overseas is better.

4. If yr young is studious kind, hopefully will develop good company. The last thing yr child wants is to feel lonely in a big place & yearn for company & no end with all sorts of activities that’ll distract her fr studies. I had a Sporean girl who goes for weekend making tho she doesn’t know the game well coz she got no other frds & one guy came to me to draw him away fr his XXXXX. He was so desperate coz he had XXXXX away money parents sent for his fees & living expenses, even tho I told him the only thing I can involve him is my Sunday church & ChinaTown timsum with my church frds.
DD visited the farmer markets, museums and galleries on her own when she has time. Also watched serials in room. Other students play e-games.

5. BGRs - this is the most delicate time for most girls. Only a small number escape involvement with bgr and majority don’t last & many go home broken-hearted when long-distance relationships don’t flourish. But guess that’s part of growing up. I wld allow for some space for that part of maturing into adulthood. What we need to sensitize is for our young ladies to learn to be emotionally strong & build resilience & learn to protect themselves. I must point out that peer pressure is gonna be very strong. I had once a whole unit of 6 girls harbouring bfrds overnights for months (only sorting out ‘cleverly’ to position the boys as visitors in living rooms when dormitory mistress do her monthly checks)! Nighttime groaning are very disturbing for those in nearby units! Hahaha, I lived to tell such stories.

Generally, girls are more vulnerable when exposed to overseas & different cultures & when navigating greater adjustment curve.
No development in this aspect thus far.

Just share only a small part of my observations.

[zac's mum]

Rgdg whether ready for overseas studies, i guess a simple way is to take a vacation with DH for a long weekend (maybe weekdays during school term even better simulation) and then let the teen manage everything alone at home. A trial run of sorts.

[sharonkhoo]

Estéema\" post_id=\"2124570\" time=\"1702101410\" user_id=\"66413:

Was just having a conversation with a dear frd with 2 special needs girls & youngest going to Melbourne & he’s really concern for her.

I highlighted a few points :-

1. Help the young person build some life skills to function independently ...
Very important. Think about what they will have to do unaided, and make sure they get some practice at home first.

Set a request for regular calls to be initiated by yr young individual. Always stay in touch but don’t over-demand. It’s a good chance for the young person to find their independence & navigate their life. Just occasionally pop in.
We set a time (adjustable) for a weekly Skype with us and her sister. And WA at any time was a great boon.

2. Have conversations of difference in culture ...
My daughter grew up overseas and was used to cross-cultural friendships and customs. And she knew what we would and wouldn't approve of in terms of behaviour! Of course, we couldn't impose and monitor, but I think she respected and shared our views enough.

3. If yr child hv no driving skills, get them to use their time to learn now. ...
My daughter got her licence in Singapore, but we strongly advised her not to drive overseas as she didn't have much practice. In the UK, most universities don't allow undergraduates to park cars on campus, and the distances are usually not so great. My daughter wasn't confident to cycle either, so she just walked everywhere. Most things were under 15 mins walk away. I guess in Australia or US, driving may be more necessary, and parking may not be a problem.

4. If yr young is studious kind, hopefully will develop good company. The last thing yr child wants is to feel lonely in a big place & yearn for company & no end with all sorts of activities that’ll distract her fr studies. ...
We encouraged her to be involved in university groups, and in the end, she was most involved in 2 Christian groups and a singing group (and other Singaporeans). No problems with loneliness, or bad company.

5. BGRs - this is the most delicate time for most girls. Only a small number escape involvement with bgr ...
We talked about this a lot beforehand, even while she was in JC. In the end, she met her boyfriend through one of the groups - and he's Singaporean.

Generally, girls are more vulnerable when exposed to overseas & different cultures & when navigating greater adjustment curve. Just share only a small part of my observations.
Not sure about this. Personality accounts for a lot? My daughter's close girls friends mostly managed very well - in various universities in UK and US. Some of the boys had harder times.

[zac's mum]

Hi ladies, for discussion. This seems like a good local alternative to do IBDP. Fees are $37k per year (similar to what MKS quoted $17k per semester at HCIS?) but not full international school campus so no need CCA and whatnot. Ratio is a lot lower too, plus they have networks to help with overseas uni applications.


Welcome your opinions on this.

https://honeykidsasia.com/westbourne-college-singapore-ib/?fbclid=IwAR2cMPB_CIJPhrizt8rWd4a7hRg4UJXFIvm87vS1f_9x3tt8_OByeoGccMU_aem_AY_exhspjOtjmGTE4PL9WWQ4QmzbjkT_DuhQ5B4Mkd9pKTyR9a7s9QMLQwhk39dSw-KIE11wGZg9-zZde2rfC3ry

[Coolkidsrock2]

zac's mum\" post_id=\"2124603\" time=\"1702176397\" user_id=\"53606:[quote=\"zac's mum\" post_id=2124603 time=1702176397 user_id=53606]
Hi ladies, for discussion. This seems like a good local alternative to do IBDP. Fees are $37k per year (similar to what MKS quoted $17k per semester at HCIS?) but not full international school campus so no need CCA and whatnot. Ratio is a lot lower too, plus they have networks to help with overseas uni applications.

Welcome your opinions on this.

https://honeykidsasia.com/westbourne-college-singapore-ib/?fbclid=IwAR2cMPB_CIJPhrizt8rWd4a7hRg4UJXFIvm87vS1f_9x3tt8_OByeoGccMU_aem_AY_exhspjOtjmGTE4PL9WWQ4QmzbjkT_DuhQ5B4Mkd9pKTyR9a7s9QMLQwhk39dSw-KIE11wGZg9-zZde2rfC3ry[/quote]

My friends either (i) start kids with international schools or the local international schools; (ii) go boarding school in upper primary; (iii) transfer to local international schools after/around sec 2 or sec 4; or (iv) attend foundation studies overseas.

Kids in arrangement (i) will usually be self-taught or have tuition in the local curriculum in parallel - have to practise on assessment books too : )

Reason given for kids in arrangement (iii) is exposure and fit.

If no CCA requirement by school, it may mean that parent/student will need to DIY? Or they will help with linking up with the relevant partners?

[zac's mum]

Coolkidsrock2\" post_id=\"2124604\" time=\"1702178504\" user_id=\"48901:

My friends either (i) start kids with international schools or the local international schools; (ii) go boarding school in upper primary; (iii) transfer to local international schools after/around sec 2 or sec 4; or (iv) attend foundation studies overseas.

Kids in arrangement (i) will usually be self-taught or have tuition in the local curriculum in parallel - have to practise on assessment books too : )

Reason given for kids in arrangement (iii) is exposure and fit.

If no CCA requirement by school, it may mean that parent/student will need to DIY? Or they will help with linking up with the relevant partners?

I am looking particularly at the IBDP course (2 years’ equivalent to JC years). As far as i know, CCA is only compulsory during secondary school years (this is an MOE requirement), not subsequently.

There is some text on their website which i found very interesting. It seems to imply that Singaporean students can freely commence on IBDP studies at *any* accredited IB school they want, no need to be one of the 3 local international schools (which bear the restriction for Y1-Y4 only?) And it seems Singaporeans can even start on IGCSE at age 15 if the “non-3” international school seeks permission on your behalf:

“We welcome students from across the globe at Westbourne College, there are some key points to be aware of which are specific to the IGCSE course, designed for students typically aged 15 – 16 years

IGCSE Singaporean students: the IGCSE course is a secondary school equivalent course, our team will support you with applying to the Ministry of Education. The MOE requirement does not apply to the IB Diploma Programme, nor is it required for eligible international students.”

[Coolkidsrock2]

My apologies, my concern about no CCA is more from preparing the "personal statement" perspective, eg leadership roles, community involvement …


Will it mean that parent and student need to find their own CCA equivalent/internship outside the school on their own?

Have seen kids being "founder" of "…"

[zac's mum]

Coolkidsrock2\" post_id=\"2124613\" time=\"1702184211\" user_id=\"48901:

My apologies, my concern about no CCA is more from preparing the \"personal statement\" perspective, eg leadership roles, community involvement ...

Will it mean that parent and student need to find their own CCA equivalent/internship outside the school on their own?

Have seen kids being \"founder\" of \".....\"

No idea, i’m sure the school will help to facilitate such, especially with IBDP itself having CAS requirements.

I dont think it’s difficult to build a portfolio lah, at least not for my extroverted kid.

[Coolkidsrock2]

zac's mum\" post_id=\"2124614\" time=\"1702185662\" user_id=\"53606:[quote=\"zac's mum\" post_id=2124614 time=1702185662 user_id=53606]
No idea, i’m sure the school will help to facilitate such, especially with IBDP itself having CAS requirements.

I dont think it’s difficult to build a portfolio lah, at least not for my extroverted kid.[/quote]

Maybe get confirmation from them if it is through the school or separate service provider and if any fees involved.

[sharonkhoo]

zac's mum\" post_id=\"2124607\" time=\"1702181805\" user_id=\"53606:[quote=\"zac's mum\" post_id=2124607 time=1702181805 user_id=53606]
There is some text on their website which i found very interesting. It seems to imply that Singaporean students can freely commence on IBDP studies at *any* accredited IB school they want, no need to be one of the 3 local international schools (which bear the restriction for Y1-Y4 only?) And it seems Singaporeans can even start on IGCSE at age 15 if the “non-3” international school seeks permission on your behalf:

“We welcome students from across the globe at Westbourne College, there are some key points to be aware of which are specific to the IGCSE course, designed for students typically aged 15 – 16 years

IGCSE Singaporean students: the IGCSE course is a secondary school equivalent course, our team will support you with applying to the Ministry of Education. The MOE requirement does not apply to the IB Diploma Programme, nor is it required for eligible international students.”[/quote]

Just sharing what I understand, but it may not be accurate, or may be out of date. You might need to check with MOE directly to make sure.

- For the 3 \"local\" international schools, there is no need to obtain MOE waiver. As long as the student can get a place, he can take it up. And this applies to Sec 1 to JC years.
- For all Foreign System Schools (FSS) which do not include those 3 above, the SCHOOL has to apply to MOE for a waiver for the student to take up a place at the school. I have heard that sometimes MOE will refuse, and one of the reasons may be that the school already has too many Singaporean students. There may be other reasons to do with the individual student as well (no idea of what, but this is what I've heard). This applies for sec 1 to JC years from what I gather, i.e. would apply to IBDP, though maybe the rules have changed?
- If you want to keep options open for applying to local universities, the student much meet the MTL requirements or be exempted (see details on universities websites).