Me Time!

[zac's mum]

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2126709\" time=\"1704839696\" user_id=\"43981:

Better talk here. Abt letting 17yo make final decision etc. I don't know about other/majority of the kids. My two at home I m already experiencing their pressure of breaking free.

Hi mks, if they know what they want, and it is not detrimental for them, can let them try it out. No need to worry so much. My own experience, mother controlled so tightly until I rebelled in quite a bad way. Not a good outcome.

[MrsKiasu]

zac's mum\" post_id=\"2126713\" time=\"1704842631\" user_id=\"53606:[quote=\"zac's mum\" post_id=2126713 time=1704842631 user_id=53606]
Hi mks, if they know what they want, and it is not detrimental for them, can let them try it out. No need to worry so much. My own experience, mother controlled so tightly until I rebelled in quite a bad way. Not a good outcome.[/quote]

True zac's mom. I think so too. Already now I am feeling it quite intense. The only (good) thing is I feel the love is still there so they will still try to respect/care for my feelings. I noticed dd1 listen to dh quite alot as of now. Maybe dh gives alot of freedom to think and to do. I can 'retire' liao...maybe it is time for me to try enjoy my own freedom.

[MrsKiasu]

Past few years I have few cards expired. Some expired till the money inside also expired. Can just pray the amt is not high.

[sharonkhoo]

ChiefKiasu\" post_id=\"2126696\" time=\"1704810591\" user_id=\"3:

I *HATE* SimplyGo.

1. They simply don't display the amount of money on the card at MRT gantries, and I have to refer to the app all the time :skeptical:
2. The card cannot be used on FlashPay terminals, eg. at Burger King and I had to use my FlashPay card instead.

Now LTA is saying everyone needs to use SimplyGo by June this year! Its ridiculous... :razz:

Same here! No improvement of service at all.

[Liew Nga Wing]

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2126716\" time=\"1704843594\" user_id=\"43981:

True zac's mom. I think so too. Already now I am feeling it quite intense. The only (good) thing is I feel the love is still there so they will still try to respect/care for my feelings. I noticed dd1 listen to dh quite alot as of now. Maybe dh gives alot of freedom to think and to do. I can 'retire' liao...maybe it is time for me to try enjoy my own freedom.

送您一段星云大师的话 :

星云大师点智慧
控制欲
控制欲的问题可大可小。一个有控制欲的人，除非内在的空虚得到填补，否则不可能放下别人，也难以解放自己。要愿意放弃你对身边人、环境和事物的强烈控制欲，无论他们是你爱的人，还是你的工作伙伴，请允许他们遵循自己的状态（当然，坏习惯另当别论），这样你就能感受更好。

[sharonkhoo]

zac's mum\" post_id=\"2126713\" time=\"1704842631\" user_id=\"53606:[quote=\"zac's mum\" post_id=2126713 time=1704842631 user_id=53606]
Hi mks, if they know what they want, and it is not detrimental for them, can let them try it out. No need to worry so much. My own experience, mother controlled so tightly until I rebelled in quite a bad way. Not a good outcome.[/quote]

I think parents should always maintain the \"right\" to state their own opinions, but there comes a point when they cannot insist. This really varies from child to child - I think, no matter how old the child, if you see them make a really bad decision, a parent has to do what they can to prevent it. But whether and how a parent controls/guides/advises really depends on so many factors - the child's maturity, the relationship between parent and child, and whether they even share the same values. In any case, I don't think parents should ever believe that they have the right to control 100%, even with very young kids. A little flex, increasing with the child's maturity, should always be allowed.

With my own girls, I gradually relaxed my control and changed the relationship from control to advice/opinion at different rates. For one, we ceased to \"control\" from her teens, preferring to express our opinions and let her decide, because we believed that she shared our values to a large extent, and we were willing to accept that she wouldn't always agree with us entirely. And we don't necessarily even offer advice and opinions unless asked now. For the other, even though she is older, we are still very much in the \"advise\" phase as she is a slow maturer. If we let her manage on her own, she would get into worse trouble.

[MrsKiasu]

Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=\"2126721\" time=\"1704845576\" user_id=\"195250:[quote=\"Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=2126721 time=1704845576 user_id=195250]
送您一段星云大师的话 :

星云大师点智慧
控制欲
控制欲的问题可大可小。一个有控制欲的人，除非内在的空虚得到填补，否则不可能放下别人，也难以解放自己。要愿意放弃你对身边人、环境和事物的强烈控制欲，无论他们是你爱的人，还是你的工作伙伴，请允许他们遵循自己的状态（当然，坏习惯另当别论），这样你就能感受更好。[/quote]

谢谢， lnw.

[MrsKiasu]

slmkhoo\" post_id=\"2126722\" time=\"1704846229\" user_id=\"28674:

I think parents should always maintain the \"right\" to state their own opinions, but there comes a point when they cannot insist. This really varies from child to child - I think, no matter how old the child, if you see them make a really bad decision, a parent has to do what they can to prevent it. But whether and how a parent controls/guides/advises really depends on so many factors - the child's maturity, the relationship between parent and child, and whether they even share the same values. In any case, I don't think parents should ever believe that they have the right to control 100%, even with very young kids. A little flex, increasing with the child's maturity, should always be allowed.

With my own girls, I gradually relaxed my control and changed the relationship from control to advice/opinion at different rates. For one, we ceased to \"control\" from her teens, preferring to express our opinions and let her decide, because we believed that she shared our values to a large extent, and we were willing to accept that she wouldn't always agree with us entirely. And we don't necessarily even offer advice and opinions unless asked now. For the other, even though she is older, we are still very much in the \"advise\" phase as she is a slow maturer. If we let her manage on her own, she would get into worse trouble.

Personally I don't find myself very controlling like adhering to time table etc etc, those good habits to develop when young. But I must admit I was more to the ruled by own emotions in their earlier years. I feel that I didn't teach them as much as I would like to. I could see their resistance towards what I say. Only remember since young I kept emphasizing more on those safety, moral, manners..those basic ones.

Maybe they have been given some amount of 'freedom' since young or maybe just their inborn character. Good thing is I start to feel myself more and more 看得开nowadays..if not I /we will be in trouble. All strong headed people. Dh also not helping..when we talk as a family, he will sometimes comment my ways so in a way make them more confident. But never mind la..time for them to take up responsibilities towards themselves.

[Liew Nga Wing]

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2126729\" time=\"1704849896\" user_id=\"43981:

Personally I don't find myself very controlling like adhering to time table etc etc, those good habits to develop when young. But I must admit I was more to the ruled by own emotions in their earlier years. I feel that I didn't teach them as much as I would like to. I could see their resistance towards what I say. Only remember since young I kept emphasizing more on those safety, moral, manners..those basic ones.

Maybe they have been given some amount of 'freedom' since young or maybe just their inborn character. Good thing is I start to feel myself more and more 看得开nowadays..if not I /we will be in trouble. All strong headed people. Dh also not helping..when we talk as a family, he will sometimes comment my ways so in a way make them more confident. But never mind la..time for them to take up responsibilities towards themselves.

Sigh.....不要自欺欺人吧, they even don't have the freedom to join their favorable CCA in secondary school and had to closed their room door and cried - what kind of freedom have been given to them? :?

[starlight1968sg]

ChiefKiasu\" post_id=\"2126696\" time=\"1704810591\" user_id=\"3:

I *HATE* SimplyGo.

1. They simply don't display the amount of money on the card at MRT gantries, and I have to refer to the app all the time :skeptical:
2. The card cannot be used on FlashPay terminals, eg. at Burger King and I had to use my FlashPay card instead.

Now LTA is saying everyone needs to use SimplyGo by June this year! Its ridiculous... :razz:

Me too; i dislike not being able to see how much has been deducted on my transport.
I dont know if I hv been overcharged.
This is a lack of transparency.