Living in Singapore

[Liew Nga Wing]

lee_yl\" post_id=\"2131216\" time=\"1711158509\" user_id=\"17023:

古人有云：打是疼 、骂是爱
打在儿身、痛在娘心

You think we like to scold the kids for nothing meh? Sometimes because it’s wrong then we scold.

I think you once mentioned that you could not scold your stepson because your DH would be very unhappy, not that you didn’t want to.

Yes, whatever the reason behind, 就是没有骂过
Nowadays, I even cannot scold my colleagues because once I scold people, my blood pressure will shot up. :oops: and I have to take western medicines to bring it down to normal range....no use...old woman :sad:

[Imp75]

We never have canes nor scold our kids before. Maybe they have always been well-behaved. I always nagged them “eh why so slack at school ah”. My hubs raised voice at them before if they did not come home as promised and were uncontactable. We always stressed about the importance of safety and keeping parents informed about their whereabouts.

[lee_yl]

Imp75\" post_id=\"2131224\" time=\"1711163738\" user_id=\"2358:

We never have canes nor scold our kids before. Maybe they have always been well-behaved. I always nagged them “eh why so slack at school ah”. My hubs raised voice at them before if they did not come home as promised and were uncontactable. We always stressed about the importance of safety and keeping parents informed about their whereabouts.

Slmkhoo said she scolded by pointing out her kids mistakes and often didn’t raise her voice.

While you and your DH don’t scold your kids but your hubby raised his voice at them if they didn’t come home as promised or were not contactable.

It is interesting to learn we can scold but don’t raise our voice and don’t scold but raise voice at our kids. Maybe, like what coolkids mentioned, “scold” has a different definition for different folks.

[Imp75]

lee_yl\" post_id=\"2131226\" time=\"1711165260\" user_id=\"17023:

Slmkhoo said she scolded by pointing out her kids mistakes and often didn’t raise her voice.

While you and your DH don’t scold your kids but your hubby raised his voice at them if they didn’t come home as promised or were not contactable.

It is interesting to learn we can scold but don’t raise our voice and don’t scold but raise voice at our kids. Maybe, like what coolkids mentioned, “scold” has a different definition for different folks.

Hahaha you are scrutinising the choice of words. Yes hubs scolds them heavily when it comes to personal safety and reneging on promises regarding keeping late nights out. I just keep quiet, one person be disciplinarian enough Liao in this case. Otherwise I don’t recall any incidents where scoldings are involved (not bad results, no bad behaviour noted). Maybe I shouldn’t use the word “never scold them before” to mislead.

[Coolkidsrock2]

DH is more instinctive but kids always say my "sugar coated bullets" are more "then they start laughing". Probably also decide best to leave it broad and open to interpretation so that they also have room to wriggle.


Guess sometimes "无声胜有声‘’

[MrsKiasu]

Maybe I shall use teach instead of scold next time…coz scolding our kids is never about the negative things. Our gen growing up with saying of 不要让人家说你没有家教，right.

[00skyblue00]

Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=\"2131219\" time=\"1711162116\" user_id=\"195250:[quote=\"Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=2131219 time=1711162116 user_id=195250]
Of course, when we see kids are doing something wrong, we will stop them and explained to them why they should not do it and tell them what is our bottom line, I believe most kids will listen to their parents. Sometimes we shown our disappointment when DS is not listening to us then because he love his father, he would stop doing it.[/quote]

So if the kid did something wrong knowing it's wrong, and continue to still do so, the parent is supposed to continue to explain, and explain and explain to avoid being labelled or brand by some judgemental people who think scolding is a sin or wrong?!
Depends on the situation bah, but bottom line is parents need not feel they will be judged for scolding their kids when occasion arises.
But choice of words can be sensitive i agree, when we say scold we do not use the terms stupid, lousy, idiot etc. I trust the parents here do not define scold as using harsh words, so don't worry. Also, i am confident that all our children love us parents too. even if mine defy me or my ways, i will not doubt her love for me as a parent too.

[MrsKiasu]

Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=\"2131218\" time=\"1711161315\" user_id=\"195250:[quote=\"Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=2131218 time=1711161315 user_id=195250]
? \"throw things\" :yikes: in the early years of my marriage life, sometimes DH was still hot temper, I remembered one time he was angry with me, then he used newspapers to make a ball and threw to me to release his anger then I did the same and finally we both laughed 😅 and forgot what we argued for. I seldom throw things because my mother never threw things when she argued with my father. When I was angry, I would hitting my pillows (not my pillows here). :rotflmao:[/quote]

Yea I thrown a tub of aloe vera gel on the floor then quickly squat down to clean up coz worry dds step on the gel or the broken pieces of the container. While clearing, I did tell myself don't be so silly next time..need to clean up.

[00skyblue00]

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2131213\" time=\"1711155454\" user_id=\"43981:

An example, if a child look at parents through the corner of the eyes with angry expression, would you scold/teach the child? This is what I heard recently. For this, I think I will scold first to teach him that it is wrong to do that..then I will try to understand the reason for this rebellious trait..then I will 'calm' him down.

Yes, i witnessed before. Even roll eyes when parents are just talking normally. We all know it's rude so the kid should be taught that it is wrong to behave like that. If parents don't teach, who can. Imagine the kid behave like that in sch with teachers or other adults. Kids being kids, they do not know that their behaviour is wrong. That roll eyes kid was talking back at his mum. The mum was surprisingly very calm, rebuked but in a normal tone. Then the few exchanges followed were nerve wracking to watch. The mum skillfully avoid a war. The trick is be detached from the situation, not to let emotions take over and make use of silence and humour.
Just the other day, I saw a big boy, taller than the lady beside him, but in pri sch uniform, pushed someone i believe was his mum. He also pushed their bicycle down the road. I wonder if reminding, explaining, silence and humour can work. But i didn't stay behind to find out what happened.

[Coolkidsrock2]

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2131234\" time=\"1711174617\" user_id=\"43981:

Yea I thrown a tub of aloe vera gel on the floor then quickly squat down to clean up coz worry dds step on the gel or the broken pieces of the container. While clearing, I did tell myself don't be so silly next time..need to clean up.

I will not throw anything in case the stone tile chip, parquet dent or things get scratched. Apart from replacement cost, very troublesome/difficult to clean up after the repairs.