Living in Singapore

[Coolkidsrock2]

Actually, it is very tough being a parent - theory is easy, 讲而已


Every child is different, dynamics, baseline, set-up … in every family is different.

If kid turn out well, not doing anything is also correct.

Otherwise, not "disciplining/scolding …" will be 慈母多败儿. If discipline/scold …, will be "should say or teach nicely instead".

So best is do what we think is right. So long as they are sensible, they will understand the rationale and the reason.

[Liew Nga Wing]

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2131234\" time=\"1711174617\" user_id=\"43981:

Yea I thrown a tub of aloe vera gel on the floor then quickly squat down to clean up coz worry dds step on the gel or the broken pieces of the container. While clearing, I did tell myself don't be so silly next time..need to clean up.

Yes, it is exactly my mother said before, after you throw things, you have to clean or clear them up. Last time, my sister threw a pear to my brother to release her anger....and I just sitting on a sofa laughed at my sister when she was cleaning up the floor.

[Liew Nga Wing]

00skyblue00\" post_id=\"2131233\" time=\"1711174525\" user_id=\"143605:

So if the kid did something wrong knowing it's wrong, and continue to still do so, the parent is supposed to continue to explain, and explain and explain to avoid being labelled or brand by some judgemental people who think scolding is a sin or wrong?!
Depends on the situation bah, but bottom line is parents need not feel they will be judged for scolding their kids when occasion arises.
But choice of words can be sensitive i agree, when we say scold we do not use the terms stupid, lousy, idiot etc. I trust the parents here do not define scold as using harsh words, so don't worry. Also, i am confident that all our children love us parents too. even if mine defy me or my ways, i will not doubt her love for me as a parent too.

No parents will label others parents as a sin or wrong doing when others are scolding their kids but if there is a better way, why choose scolding.

[00skyblue00]

Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=\"2131326\" time=\"1711354506\" user_id=\"195250:[quote=\"Liew Nga Wing\" post_id=2131326 time=1711354506 user_id=195250]
No parents will label others parents as a sin or wrong doing when others are scolding their kids but if there is a better way, why choose scolding. [/quote]

I disagree, there is no one better way. There is only one outcome, parents do what they think they need to raise their kids in how they deem necessary.
We can agree to disagree.
:imcool:

[pirate]

If the kid does something wrong and continues to do it knowing that it is wrong, neither repeated explaining or scolding or any other form of one directional communication is going to work. It is better to find out the reason why.


Repeatedly doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome is the definition of insanity.

[MyPillow]

MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2131232\" time=\"1711174376\" user_id=\"43981:

Maybe I shall use teach instead of scold next time..coz scolding our kids is never about the negative things. Our gen growing up with saying of 不要让人家说你没有家教，right.

I think our generation grew up n learned by getting scolded on almost everythings that our mama or papa think that were not right, not up to their expectations etc

agree on diff people may have diff understanding of what is scolding - rasie voice, say bad words, mean words etc
my mama defended raising her voice , not nice tone, is not scolding ... so she \"scolded\" me cannot get upset about it last time
But my own opinion, all above belongs to the the \"scolding department\" ...
teaching our childrens eg do not roll their eyes or show displeasure attitude etc but sometimes tone may sound like we are scolding them instead of teaching... it is not easy to handle and diff kids reacted differently too, there is usually one more rebellious/stubborn stone in the family. Afterall, it is becos we treasure them alot and hope they grow up well n learn well. we love them thats why want to correct, scold them . spare the rod , spoil the kid . But once into adulthood, pls dont scold the children anymore, they may \"run away\" ? :roll:

[Funz]

Nowadays so many types of parenting. Gentle parenting, respectful parenting, mindfulness parenting, etc.


At the end of the day there is no one single method that will work on all kids. Just take my 2 fellas will do. I have to use different methods with each of them and what works when they are 2 or 3yrs old may not work when they are 5 or 7yrs old and again we have to be flexible and adjust our methods as reach their tweens and teens and early adulthood. In my line of work, we also see kids who are really compliant and kids who are really defiant. Kids who respond well to reasoning and kids who need a really firm hand or they will push every single boundary. We have also seen parents starting out as gentle parenting with their 1 kid and cannot understand why it does not work with their other kid and end up falling back on old school parenting.

So cannot say totally don’t scold or cannot don’t scold, it all depends on how the child responds.

[Liew Nga Wing]

MyPillow\" post_id=\"2131337\" time=\"1711416187\" user_id=\"70594:

I think our generation grew up n learned by getting scolded on almost everythings that our mama or papa think that were not right, not up to their expectations etc

agree on diff people may have diff understanding of what is scolding - rasie voice, say bad words, mean words etc
my mama defended raising her voice , not nice tone, is not scolding ... so she \"scolded\" me cannot get upset about it last time
But my own opinion, all above belongs to the the \"scolding department\" ...
teaching our childrens eg do not roll their eyes or show displeasure attitude etc but sometimes tone may sound like we are scolding them instead of teaching... it is not easy to handle and diff kids reacted differently too, there is usually one more rebellious/stubborn stone in the family. Afterall, it is becos we treasure them alot and hope they grow up well n learn well. we love them thats why want to correct, scold them . spare the rod , spoil the kid . But once into adulthood, pls dont scold the children anymore, they may \"run away\" ? :roll:

Yes, they may 离家出走 or even 离家出国.. :yikes:

[Liew Nga Wing]

Funz\" post_id=\"2131338\" time=\"1711418246\" user_id=\"6230:

Nowadays so many types of parenting. Gentle parenting, respectful parenting, mindfulness parenting, etc.

At the end of the day there is no one single method that will work on all kids. Just take my 2 fellas will do. I have to use different methods with each of them and what works when they are 2 or 3yrs old may not work when they are 5 or 7yrs old and again we have to be flexible and adjust our methods as reach their tweens and teens and early adulthood. In my line of work, we also see kids who are really compliant and kids who are really defiant. Kids who respond well to reasoning and kids who need a really firm hand or they will push every single boundary. We have also seen parents starting out as gentle parenting with their 1 kid and cannot understand why it does not work with their other kid and end up falling back on old school parenting.

So cannot say totally don't scold or cannot don't scold, it all depends on how the child responds.

When I was small, my eldest brother always failed his maths exam in primary school, my father beat him with a cane every time as a punishment. I was very scare at first, however, my eldest brother taught me - the pain from caning would last for a few days only and why we need to be scared? Then from that time on, I would not afraid of scolding or caning by my mother because these pains would not last forever. How to teach if kids respond like us? :scratchhead:

[Imp75]

Anyone watched 孺子可教也 on mewatch? Chinese version of lion mom. How many can resonate with the parents onscreeen?