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    Me Time!

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    • lee_ylL Offline
      lee_yl
      last edited by

      Perhaps it‘s like…keep telling the kid, “don’t keep playing handphone, or else you may fail exam.” Kids didn’t listen and failed an exam, they would learn the lesson and think, ya, maybe my mum is right…


      This time what’s done is done, no need to dwell on the matter further, maybe just say, “next time anything pls tell me!”

      Every year my cousin would bring his wife and kids for overseas holidays but never inform my aunt when they will be leaving or going to which country. My aunt was upset and because he never says, she also pretends she doesn’t care. So “privacy” becomes a habit, I guess.

      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
      • starlight1968sgS Offline
        starlight1968sg
        last edited by

        I hv a similar issue too. To me, it is not a mere privacy matter. It is basic respect to inform your family or loved ones on your whereabouts etc. Not all think this way.

        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
        • MrsKiasuM Offline
          MrsKiasu
          last edited by

          lee_yl\" post_id=\"2132608\" time=\"1713060987\" user_id=\"17023:

          Perhaps it‘s like…keep telling the kid, “don’t keep playing handphone, or else you may fail exam.” Kids didn’t listen and failed an exam, they would learn the lesson and think, ya, maybe my mum is right…

          This time what’s done is done, no need to dwell on the matter further, maybe just say, “next time anything pls tell me!”

          Every year my cousin would bring his wife and kids for overseas holidays but never inform my aunt when they will be leaving or going to which country. My aunt was upset and because he never says, she also pretends she doesn’t care. So “privacy” becomes a habit, I guess.
          For going overseas, I feel as parents we would like to know. Go without us nevermind..coz so many things happening around the world..can be very worrying.

          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
          • FunzF Offline
            Funz
            last edited by

            I think it is different when it comes to our children who are adults, young adults, teens, preteens, or primary and preschoolers.


            I would expect my preschoolers and primary schoolers to ask permission and tell me most things that is happening with them and around them.

            Preteens, I understand that there will be some things that they will not be ready to share at times but they will still have to ask permission for most things.

            Teens, they will need more privacy and some autonomy. For going out, buying things that is outside their normal schedule and expenditures, they will have to seek our agreement.

            Young adults, by then we hope that they will be discerning enough for us to be able to trust that they will know to come to us and discuss with us if it involves serious decisions. I want to be informed or be given a general idea of who they hang out with and where they go, so that if anything were to happen, I will know where they are and the alternative ways to reach them.

            By the time they are adults in their mid 20s, it will have to be up to them what they are comfortable sharing with us. Hopefully they understand our concerns as parents and know that they can confide anything with us.

            Up till this day, I will still update my parents of most major happenings in our family. Change of job, move house, reno house, travelling, etc. For us sisters, when we travel, we will always update our mum, when we are at the airport, when we arrive at destination country, sometimes mid travel depending on the duration of the trip, when at destination airport about to depart and upon arrival. We do this because we know our mum will worry.  

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            • Liew Nga WingL Offline
              Liew Nga Wing
              last edited by

              starlight1968sg\" post_id=\"2132609\" time=\"1713061807\" user_id=\"14025:

              I hv a similar issue too. To me, it is not a mere privacy matter. It is basic respect to inform your family or loved ones on your whereabouts etc. Not all think this way.
              Star,
              I have spoken to many of my male colleagues and I have concluded things that men don't like their wives to do :
              1. Calling them to ask where they are and when come home when they are working or gathering with friends outside. The need faces in front of their colleagues and friends
              2. Complaining when they lend their money to relatives or friends because they are the one to earn the money
              3. Assume his money is your money....his money is his money, your money is your money.
              4. Keeping on asking or find out something they don’t want wives to know or something about the past.
              5. Complaining their wrong doings in the past.
              6. Force them to do something they don't like. For example, I always eating buffet with my friends but DH has never joined me because he said he don't know them and don't like to gather with newcomers. I understand and never ask them to join me again despite my friends keep on asking why I don't persuade DH to come.
              7. Searching their handphone, reading their messages when they are having baths.

              I don't how many papa will agree with me here. To wives, we have our principles that men should respect and love the family and therefore they should.........but to men, they may not have the same thinking. If we find DH have different thinking with us, don't hope one day they will change and follow us.

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              • lee_ylL Offline
                lee_yl
                last edited by

                starlight1968sg\" post_id=\"2132609\" time=\"1713061807\" user_id=\"14025:

                I hv a similar issue too. To me, it is not a mere privacy matter. It is basic respect to inform your family or loved ones on your whereabouts etc. Not all think this way.
                When everything is pushed to “privacy”, then the term “privacy” is overused. If my 18yo were to sleep over at a friend’s house (never mention who), then is this “privacy issues” or ???

                It’s just a matter of time, all parents will experience all these. Again, must see the nature of the issue and the kids’ age. Some things can close one eye, some things cannot.

                1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                • lee_ylL Offline
                  lee_yl
                  last edited by

                  MrsKiasu\" post_id=\"2132610\" time=\"1713062702\" user_id=\"43981:

                  For going overseas, I feel as parents we would like to know. Go without us nevermind..coz so many things happening around the world..can be very worrying.
                  Check Instagram/Facebook? Lol

                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • MrsKiasuM Offline
                    MrsKiasu
                    last edited by

                    lee_yl\" post_id=\"2132615\" time=\"1713064461\" user_id=\"17023:

                    Check Instagram/Facebook? Lol
                    :faint:

                    1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                    • FunzF Offline
                      Funz
                      last edited by

                      DS dun have insta or facebook. Or rather he has insta that he has never updated since setting it up initially. No facebook.


                      DD is a little more active on insta but also not very updated.

                      Wanna stalk also cannot. 😂

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                      • zac's mumZ Offline
                        zac's mum
                        last edited by

                        I thought nowadays is Whatsapp status update…

                        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0

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