Advice - Divorce or Not to Divorce

[noobparent]

tired:

Hi all,


I need some advice.

1.My husband is abusive. Abuses us verbally and slaps my son often
2.He made little contribution to the family. Pays 500 (300 for his monthly loans, and claim that the remaining is for the maintenance of the kid and groceries)
3.Car and housing loans, as well as kid's childcare all paid by me.
4.Thinks he contribute alot by ferrying us to work and school.
5.Insists that 7-12pm daily is his time. Kid cannot go near him. He will slap him if he does.
6. No one can talk him through.

I am tired. Should I opt out? I want my kid.

Sounds rather severe, in my opinion.

Has he always been like that?

[tankee]

tired:

Hi all,


I need some advice.

1.My husband is abusive. Abuses us verbally and slaps my son often
2.He made little contribution to the family. Pays 500 (300 for his monthly loans, and claim that the remaining is for the maintenance of the kid and groceries)
3.Car and housing loans, as well as kid's childcare all paid by me.
4.Thinks he contribute alot by ferrying us to work and school.
5.Insists that 7-12pm daily is his time. Kid cannot go near him. He will slap him if he does.
6. No one can talk him through.

I am tired. Should I opt out? I want my kid.

I think your hubby needs help.

what is he doing daily between 7-12pm? internet?

[jslow]

In my opinion, do what is best for ur child. Will he be better with/ without the fatherly figure? In my course of wk, I have came across many families with homes with trouble. Some are from single parent family and doing well, some with the parents not in talking terms and has severely did harm to the kids.

Really have to think for ur child, thou they cant really voice out how they say, observed their emotions and daily habits. If u need help, talk to family service centres.
I have seen families facing problems but scared of losing face and not seek help. Must really think for ur child cos they are innocent and cant protect/ think for themselves. I hope u get what i mean.

[tree nymph]

According to the website, the requirements for filing is as follows:


What are the legal requirements for a divorce?

You will be granted a divorce only if a Judge of the Family Court agrees that your marriage has ended. In legal language, the Judge must find that your marriage has irretrievably broken down. This is set out at section 95 of the Women’s Charter.

To prove that your marriage has ended, you must show the Court that one or more of the following facts is true:
• that your spouse has committed adultery, and you find it intolerable to live with him or her
• that your spouse has behaved in such a way that you cannot reasonably be expected to live with him or her
• that your spouse has deserted you for at least two years
• if your spouse agrees to the divorce, that you and your spouse have been separated for at least three years
• if your spouse does not agree to the divorce, that you and your spouse have been separated for at least four years.

These requirements are set out at section 95(3) of the Women’s Charter.

[tree nymph]

How come i heard of people getting divorce because both of them had drifted apart? Character difference?


Can’t file for divorce because of in-laws and extended family right?

[peapot]

Hi tired, it is sad to hear such things. Why is it the men are the ones giving problems all the time?? That’s why I always feel that during courtship must really open up your eyes and observe this man who will supposely live with you for the rest of your life.


I intend to tell my gal this next time when she’s grown up. Sigh!! Like you, I have also blindly fall in love and got married. Although he doesn’t behave unreasonably, there is also some things I don’t like about him. I believe a couple must have a common objective, if not very hard to last.

[pink_daisy]

anyone divorced yet staying under the same roof…mayb due to kids or becoz both wife n husband got no place to stay if divorced n sell flat? n if divorced, must sell flat if flat uder both names n can b sold (ie.flat more than 5yrs already)?

[fussyMummy]

pink_daisy:

anyone divorced yet staying under the same roof..mayb due to kids or becoz both wife n husband got no place to stay if divorced n sell flat? n if divorced, must sell flat if flat uder both names n can b sold (ie.flat more than 5yrs already)?

Hi pink_daisy,

I was like that, staying under 1 roof but different room. Due to both parties also dont have other place to stay, also no convience for me and kids rent a room.

Our case, 1st issue settled is divorced, as both parties agreed... but have some conflict with custody, HDB, Maintance and blah blah blah... :stupid:

I transfered the HDB to him, and he paid me the $$. Before that I heard someone said can own the HDB after divorce, that is no truth at all!!!! The case drag after 2 years, then settled the housing issue.

Divorced will be a tough path, if have kids and HDB and other assets .. tougher if the other party doesnt want to compromise, even how good is your plan..... It can be years.....

[pink_daisy]

fussyMummy:

pink_daisy:

anyone divorced yet staying under the same roof..mayb due to kids or becoz both wife n husband got no place to stay if divorced n sell flat? n if divorced, must sell flat if flat uder both names n can b sold (ie.flat more than 5yrs already)?

Hi pink_daisy,

I was like that, staying under 1 roof but different room. Due to both parties also dont have other place to stay, also no convience for me and kids rent a room.

Our case, 1st issue settled is divorced, as both parties agreed... but have some conflict with custody, HDB, Maintance and blah blah blah... :stupid:

I transfered the HDB to him, and he paid me the $$. Before that I heard someone said can own the HDB after divorce, that is no truth at all!!!! The case drag after 2 years, then settled the housing issue.

Divorced will be a tough path, if have kids and HDB and other assets .. tougher if the other party doesnt want to compromise, even how good is your plan..... It can be years.....

oh..so means must sell away the hse or tat the hse cannot hv both our names after signing the divorce papers..then how?
he sure got nowhere to go..n don noe he got money to buy my flat share or not..i can at worst, move back to my parents' place but quite squeeze coz still got my 2 kids.. how...how..??

[pink_daisy]

how do i buy a small flat? i mean from open market, those resale flats? wat r the criteria?