What prompted you to have kids in the first place?

[rinsider]

The Marriage and Parenthood Reset Workgroup, chaired by Minister in the Prime Minister’s Office Indranee Rajah, comprises eight other political office holders from the Health, Education, Manpower and other relevant ministries. – CNA

https://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/singapore-youth-aware-of-falling-birth-rate-study-finds-but-40-in-no-rush-to-marry

Is it because we’re parents that fell short that our kids have almost no interest in starting their own families?

My kids are 26 and 20 respectively. My son was born when the Baby Bonus wasn’t even a national initiative or concept. And when my daughter was born, the payouts weren’t staggering either. Some would call it bad family planning.

But it was a very different time back then, when baby milk powder refills could be purchased for under $20. Childcare didn’t cost much either, perhaps $200+ after subsidies.

In recent years, things changed. From tuition and enrichment classes to everything in between, to giving a kid the best foundation in life as possible. But why…? Does this make us better parents？

Potential parents plan too much, in my opinion. They fret about having at least $100k or more per kid in their bank accounts before going forth and making the leap. It’s a fluid situation through the years when you have kids. Some years are harder than others. And your kids will experience their own growth as well in harder times.

Parents, no matter how squeezed, will raise and support their kids even in the face of the hardest of challenges (like, when something happens to the main breadwinner). Even if it means sacrificing lifestyles, no fancy electronics for the kids, or other activities that we believe will elevate them somehow. Learning how to say “no” doesn’t make you a cruel parent. They can always venture forth and work part-time when they are studying and invest in their pursuits.

Despite all these, my kids sadly have no interest whatsoever in dating and beginning families of their own. It’s not just the higher cost of living. Daily living has worn even young folks down to superficial conversations and shallow relationships, which are hardly conducive to the romanticized idea of marriage and happily ever after.

Once upon a time, I didn’t even a credible income with my husband or partner but here we are today. We’re proud of the kids we raised. They have to find their own way and livelihood, like we did. It’s just sad that raising a family is no longer in their equation.

Ps. My son just made his passport and intends to travel independently. It’s just $70 but he was so happy about it.

[thebottomsupblog]

@rinsider To answer your question: My two kids were unplanned, although they came after marriage haha.

I was not the type of person who needed to have kids, although I’m very glad that I did, and I do live for them, in many ways. For one, they’ve made me improve myself so that they would have a better role model.

My life with kids is infinitely better, but I wouldn’t really want to prescribe this to someone else, as we’re all different.

If we’d had more access to resources when we were 20-somethings, be it the social media financial experts or AI, I think we might’ve done a lot of things differently too!