All About Full-Time Maids

[buds]

KS_me:

My friend just email this link to me


http://multimedia.asiaone.com/Multimedia/Vodcast/Multimedia/Story/A1Multimedia20090402-6319.html

To my horror to watch this clips!!! I feel like taking the \"parang\" and slash the maid into pieces!!! :x :x :x :x

Heyya KS_me,

Thanks for sharing the video.
And no... pls dun slash or harbour
such thoughts, or you'd be in for it
with her... I agree with you, it IS
horrific and very very sad to watch
the ordeal. I feel for the child and
the parents. Poor children to be
under such care..

Hope the maid gets black listed
after her sentence... It's horrifying
to imagine if she may come back and
work for one of us! The face not so clear.
God help us.... it's a child she was torturing,
and for just trying to answer nature's call...

Btw, KS_me... your smiley very cute. Boxing seems
an apt timing while sharing the maid link. Makes me
feel like working out the punches... so fuming to watch.

[smurf]

Buds,


at least ur hub support u of NOT working to look after your children. hahha. for me, I prefer to look after the kids (as I dun have reliable helper), but so far, I dun have any support from relatives, mum or even hub (even after watching the video, he just shrugged and think that ONLY one such maid would abuse kids there are still plenty of VERY GOOD maids out there).

people seems to think that $ is the most important thing, and that I'm wasting my degree to take care of kids.

[tamarind]

Latest News


http://www.dailyexpress.com.my/news.cfm?NewsID=52426

Abuse by maid caught on camera


Kuala Lumpur: A young couple consider themselves lucky to have secretly installed a webcam in their condominium which caught their Indonesian maid abusing their three-year-old daughter.

The camera caught the maid kicking the child so hard that she was sent sprawling to the floor. When the child got up, the maid grabbed her by the hand and started kicking her again repeatedly. Again, she was sent sprawling like a rag doll.

Like a woman possessed, the maid repeatedly stomped on the girl's frail body. She stopped after a while, but continued stomping on the girl moments later. But it could have been a different story if the couple had not had the presence of mind to make the recording.

When confronted, the 18-year-old maid allegedly tried to jump off the couple's fourth floor condominium balcony, prompting a cleaner to call the police.

When the cops arrived, she told them that she had been assaulted by the couple. Police then hauled the employers, their children and the maid to the Sentul police station for questioning.

The couple spent hours explaining what had happened, and it was during questioning that they produced the footage to back up their claim that their daughter had been abused. The couple, who had been married for three years, also claimed that the maid had abused their year-old son as well.

They lodged a report on the alleged abuse.

The couple had told police that they had installed the webcam two weeks ago after their daughter frequently complained of stomach pain.

When they asked the maid, she allegedly told them that it could be because the girl took too much yogurt drinks.

Suspicious, the couple decided to install a webcam on the personal computer in the living room. In the first week, they caught the maid abusing their youngest. They confronted her and warned her not to repeat it. But, she did it again - this time, the couple's three-year-old girl was the target. Before they could lodge a complaint with the authorities, the maid turned the tables around.

When police arrived after being alerted by the cleaner, the maid told police that she had been assaulted. The maid sustained injuries to the head and several other parts of her body. She was sent to Kuala Lumpur Hospital. Police are investigating whether the injuries had been self-inflicted. The maid, in her police report, had claimed that the couple was responsible for the injuries.

The maid allegedly involved in the abuses had been working with them for more than a year. The husband declined to give the media access to the footage of the alleged incident.

\"We are afraid of the impact it might have on the children. We are sorry,\" he said. The wife said she did not know if they would get a maid after the episode. \"There are those lucky enough to get good maids, and there are those who are not as fortunate,\" she said.

Kuala Lumpur CID chief senior Assistant Commissioner II Ku Chin Wah confirmed that police were investigating both reports. He said police have also retrieved the recordings from the couple. \"We are also investigating the maid's claim that the couple had inflicted injuries on her with a weapon,\" he said. The maid has been remanded.

[tamarind]

It happened in Kuala Lumpur, which is worst because the maid can easily find her way to Singapore ! There will be no records of her at all and she cannot be blacklisted here.


My advise to all mommies, please put your kids before your career ! I know many mommies say they have no choice, but they do have a choice. You can live with no luxuries, but at least your kids are safe. I recently read an article about 2 girls who grew up with no income after their father died, since their mother is unable to work. They depend entirely on financial assistance from the government. The older girl is planning to go into university. Nobody will starve in Singapore.

The truth is that many people complain that it is very expensive to raise kids in Singapore, that is why both daddy and mommy have to work. That is because they want to send their kids to the most expensive schools and enrichment classes. Is this really more important than the safety of their kids ? I spend less than $200(after government subsidy) for 2 kids in PCF kindergarten !

In my case, I am fortunate that my parents agree to live with me, and they help to supervise the maid at all times. It means that we have to sacrifice our privacy, but it is a small price to pay.

If you have no one to supervise the maid at home, please put your kids in infant care and child care.

[tamarind]

smurf:

Buds,


at least ur hub support u of NOT working to look after your children. hahha. for me, I prefer to look after the kids (as I dun have reliable helper), but so far, I dun have any support from relatives, mum or even hub (even after watching the video, he just shrugged and think that ONLY one such maid would abuse kids there are still plenty of VERY GOOD maids out there).

people seems to think that $ is the most important thing, and that I'm wasting my degree to take care of kids.

One maid ?

Show him these webpages.
http://singaporemaidcomments.blogspot.com/2008/08/evangeline-panganiban-enopia-filipino.html

http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/singaporeseen/viewContent.jsp?id=13554

smurf,
You are definitely not wasting your degree ! You are giving your children the best thing that they can ever have You can still go back to work after your kids grow up, right ?

buds,
Yes it is entirely possible that she finds an employer in Singapore. The sad thing is we cannot really see her face in the video. She can easily change her name, and get a new passport.

You are certainly doing the right thing staying at home. Your sacrifice is definitely worth it.

[smurf]

Hi Tamarind,


Thank you for making me feel that I'm not wasting time looking after my kids.

yes, I saw that video quite some time ago and felt very sad. Guess what? I showed it to hub, and he just shrugged LOR as usual.

I read your blog before, made me think many many times (not just twice, thrice) to employ a maid. at a point of time, I couldn't handle 2 kids, especially when bb cries and elder throwing tantrum. sometimes, can be very frustrating, but I endure and bear with it. hoping that things will get better.

I feel very sad that the government doesn't do anything to prevent this kind of thing from happening. very sad that they are encouraging people to work and work and work just for the economy.

go back to work after kids bigger? hmm, not too sure leh, cos I did engineering deg, if no experience, people would rather hire freshise who just graduated from Uni, I guess? cheaper and younger.

[VRossi]

Hey smurf,


I have a Business Administration Degree from NUS and is also a stay home mum for the past 6 years with 2 gals and no maid, no parents or in laws’ help.Sometimes you question your own decision when you see other people who seem to have their cake and eat it.Let me assure you that the bonding that you get from your children makes it worthwhile.

If people "bug" you about wasting your degree,just smile and say that it is a privilege to stay home and be involved in your children’s life.Some will gasp,"But I really don’t know how you cope",just smile and say you are coping fine and really don’t see a need for a maid.My girls are 3 and 6.Due to some changes in financial circumstances,I have to return to the workforce but will be putting kids in childcare.Can’t bear to but I tell myself I already built a solid foundation for the past 6 years and I am determined to juggle both work and motherhood to the best of my ability.

[clarabella]

tamarind:

I know many mommies say they have no choice, but they do have a choice. You can live with no luxuries, but at least your kids are safe.

I agree with what Tamarind said whole-heartedly, but I guess it may not apply readily to single parents - I know some of my friends who are divorced really have no choice since they don't qualify for financial aid.

Smurf, you are definitely not wasting time (and your degree) looking after your children. When they are young, mummy is such an integral part of their world - I imagine kids would much rather have mummy around than a helper.
For me, it was difficult to sacrifice my financial comfort to look after my kids, but when I hear all the horror stories about maids out there, i always think it's worth it. Many of my family and friends think I'm out of my mind to be a SAHM since I have two degrees; you should hear my MIL praising my SIL for being \"SO capable! Able to support herself and contribute to the family and not sponge off her husband\" while looking pointedly at me. :x :x
I get my revenge though, when my 2yo runs around spouting tang-shi while his cousin of the same age can barely walk and still calls everyone papa. :laugh:
Anyway, I think it's entirely possible to cope without maids. I get all my kids to do chores. Other than cooking, they help with almost everything: washing-up, laundry, packing their things away, dusting/vacuuming etc. You'd be surprised how much kids can accomplish!

[buds]

clarabella:

Many of my family and friends think I'm out of my mind to be a SAHM since I have two degrees; you should hear my MIL praising my SIL for being \"SO capable! Able to support herself and contribute to the family and not sponge off her husband\" while looking pointedly at me. :x :x

Wow! Sponge off huh... Harsh!
Out the left ear that goes......

clarabella:

I get my revenge though, when my 2yo runs around spouting tang-shi while his cousin of the same age can barely walk and still calls everyone papa. :laugh:

Tell me about it, girl!! That sure felt good, didn't it?
Patience is a virtue. It may take some time for
results as in all waiting & persevering instances,
but it sure feels so good in the end..

That sure must've shut everyone up real nice..
:celebrate:

clarabella:

Anyway, I think it's entirely possible to cope without maids. I get all my kids to do chores. Other than cooking, they help with almost everything: washing-up, laundry, packing their things away, dusting/vacuuming etc. You'd be surprised how much kids can accomplish!

Yup! Hear hear!! And you'd be surprised too that you become a super
efficient multi-tasker once you decide to start work again.. The years
of practise will pay off. Hehee.. You'll be one of those working mums
who work and manage household concurrently without much fuss...
And people around will go... :shock:
How'd you manage all that?

[tamarind]

smurf:

Hi Tamarind,


Thank you for making me feel that I'm not wasting time looking after my kids.

yes, I saw that video quite some time ago and felt very sad. Guess what? I showed it to hub, and he just shrugged LOR as usual.

I read your blog before, made me think many many times (not just twice, thrice) to employ a maid. at a point of time, I couldn't handle 2 kids, especially when bb cries and elder throwing tantrum. sometimes, can be very frustrating, but I endure and bear with it. hoping that things will get better.

I feel very sad that the government doesn't do anything to prevent this kind of thing from happening. very sad that they are encouraging people to work and work and work just for the economy.

go back to work after kids bigger? hmm, not too sure leh, cos I did engineering deg, if no experience, people would rather hire freshise who just graduated from Uni, I guess? cheaper and younger.

smurf,
I also have an engineering degree, what you wrote is true. It is very difficult to find a job after the age of 40. One option is to teach, either at polytechnics, primary/secondary schools, or private tuition which pays very well nowadays.

I myself also cannot handle babies and young kids. That is why I leave it to the expert, my mother ! My current maid is actually very good. But I still will not leave the kids alone with her. My hubby actually told me that I should work, because the kids will suffer if I stay at home to look after them :oops:

I do wish that the government provides better quality childcare, with more affordable fees.


clarabella,
Yes it is very difficult for mommies to sacrifice their financial comfort. My ex-colleague had $2 million in the bank (his father is rich), but his wife still insist to work. She wants the freedom to spend money. She has \"mountains\" of branded designer bags at home. But her daughter is left alone with the maid all day long. Are designer bags more important than spending time with her daughter ? They spent more than $2000 a month on the girl's pre-school, enrichment, but my ex-colleague was unhappy with her development, and his expectations were not even high.