All About Full-Time Maids
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Hi TimmyOwner,
How long has your maid been with you? My maid with my 3 yo DS since birth too and he prefers her during the day because he is very used to her and she gave in to him and know how to play with him. Recently when she went on home leave, for first 2 days he was not used to me and was angry and asked \"Where?\" ie. where is my maid?
After that OK.
But my DS is definitely quite clear who to look for what. For eg. daddy is the driver and for going out, he definitely will \"prefer\" daddy. For night DS sleep with me so DS will definitely look for me and push maid away during bedtime. (I refused to let DS sleep with maid as I think then they will become TOO close for my comfort). Nowadays I think my baby is growing up because he wants mummy to clean his back-side for him after he poo and mummy to bath for him (not the maid). I will clean and bath him whenever I can like on weekends.
I just not comfortable with what you said about the \"politics\" your maid has/is playing. If I put myself into your shoes, I will consider changing maid at an appropriate time ie. when the child goes to P1 or K1 or whatever \"major turning points\" to break the attachments as painlessly for the kid as possible.
Best regards.TimmyOwner:
Dear all
Appreciate your opinions/ comments about maids.
I got a maid to take care of my children 'cos my husband and I are both working. My maid has been with my DD and DS since they were born.
1. My children likes the maid alot, to the extend that they prefer the maid to feed them, tuck them to bed, etc over mummy and daddy sometimes. But my children also love their mummy and daddy. How old were your children before they grew out of their maids and love mummy and daddy the most?
2. My maid is generally ok, although sometimes she show us \"bochup\" face. She likes to play politics abit with my relatives. I overlook small matters as long as she does not go overboard and takes good care of my children. I am afraid that as my toddler age children grows bigger, she may try to manipulate them against mummy and daddy. Did that happen to your children? E.g. maid don't want to wash car or something and tell your children mummy and daddy treat her badly, and the child is angry with mummy and daddy, and ask her parents why they bully the maid?
3. There were some incidents in the past where my maid did some wrong things to my relatives and me. She has since apologised for what she did. I accept her apologies and want to move on. Any of you have maids who commit wrongs, and your family forgave her, and decided to carry on with her?
Thanks for your opinions. -
Hi Dessertwind,
Thanks for your reply. Yes, I think of doing that too. When my child goes K1 or P1.
Right now DD is very happy everyday and loves everyone, although she likes the maid best.
My only prob is that when my DD is big enough, her younger sibling is still young, and attached to the maid, so I have to wait for all my children to be big enough, and that will take at least 7 years…
Govt always encourage Singaporean parents to have more children, but really, it’s very difficult for us, because of child care concerns. If I work, I have to worry who takes care of the children. Not everyone is blessed to have grandparents willing to take care of grandchildren. One solution is childcare, but in UK countries where the birth rate is higher, the maternity leave can go up 1 year, with employment laws to protect the mother. At least at after 1 year old, you feel better about committing your child to full day childcare.
We still don’t have that kind of pro-family, pro-children culture in Singapore society and among local based companies. So I think it’s very difficult for the birth rates to increase very much. -
TimmyOwner:
Timmy, i agree with you ..... there's just not enough being done for mothers to encourage procreation, or worse, for married couples to start a family.Hi Dessertwind,
Thanks for your reply. Yes, I think of doing that too. When my child goes K1 or P1.
Right now DD is very happy everyday and loves everyone, although she likes the maid best.
My only prob is that when my DD is big enough, her younger sibling is still young, and attached to the maid, so I have to wait for all my children to be big enough, and that will take at least 7 years...
Govt always encourage Singaporean parents to have more children, but really, it's very difficult for us, because of child care concerns. If I work, I have to worry who takes care of the children. Not everyone is blessed to have grandparents willing to take care of grandchildren. One solution is childcare, but in UK countries where the birth rate is higher, the maternity leave can go up 1 year, with employment laws to protect the mother. At least at after 1 year old, you feel better about committing your child to full day childcare.
We still don't have that kind of pro-family, pro-children culture in Singapore society and among local based companies. So I think it's very difficult for the birth rates to increase very much.
Can't commnet on the maid situation as it hasn't happened to me, but Dessertwind has a good point ie to change maid at a major turning point.
Good luck! -
hey, i have a questions to ask all of you :
what would you do if you suspect that your maid stole your money in your cupboard, which you already told her not to open. but this is only suspicion cos you can’t prove it. but this maid is a good maid, can cook, clean, look after your kids, love your kids, and you like her. what would you do? -
keep quiet and put some more money in the cupboard and install a hidden camera, pointing to cupboard...
KoalaMummy:
hey, i have a questions to ask all of you :
what would you do if you suspect that your maid stole your money in your cupboard, which you already told her not to open. but this is only suspicion cos you can't prove it. but this maid is a good maid, can cook, clean, look after your kids, love your kids, and you like her. what would you do? -
liuhao:
keep quiet and put some more money in the cupboard and install a hidden camera, pointing to cupboard...
quite a good idea. but how to install a hidden camera? how much does a hidden camera cost? on the other hand, other than this suspcion, this maid is good. if it proved that she really steals, means you have to send her back?? -
good camera is quite expensive. here are some:
http://www.eurekaplus.com/products.html
if you need maid in the long term, investing a camera may be worthy.
i wont hire a maid who steals no matter how good is she...KoalaMummy:
quite a good idea. but how to install a hidden camera? how much does a hidden camera cost? on the other hand, other than this suspcion, this maid is good. if it proved that she really steals, means you have to send her back??liuhao:
keep quiet and put some more money in the cupboard and install a hidden camera, pointing to cupboard...
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KoalaMummy:
my Bro in law bought a hidden camera in the form of a photo frame. Ard $1k.liuhao:
keep quiet and put some more money in the cupboard and install a hidden camera, pointing to cupboard...
quite a good idea. but how to install a hidden camera? how much does a hidden camera cost? on the other hand, other than this suspcion, this maid is good. if it proved that she really steals, means you have to send her back??
in response to your original query, i will put some more money to lure the thief. make a marking on the money, and take down the serial number of those money that you put there.
(hee hee, this is what i did to catch my stealing maid 4 years ago!!)
everyday, check that cupboard. once u notice the $$ is missing .... ask if anyone in the family took it.
check it didn't drop to some corner.
then do a spot check on the maid.
if that $$ is found in her possession .... tada! u found the thief.
but if you don't find it in her possession, it may not mean that she isn't the thief. she could have squirrelled it away or spent it !
maybe to overcome this problem is to secretly check on her belongings in the middle of the night when she's asleep?
still better to have a camera for evidence, but cost is an issue.
next cheaper alternative that would solve your headache : LOCK THE CUPBOARD
but if she's really the one who stole, she will steal again once the opportunity rises. so be careful with your money and valuable items.
I mentioned that maid of mine who stole from us 4 years ago ...
she was just 1 month away from the end of her contract, and we thot she was generally ok.
but we didn't realise that that night that we caught her red-handed that she has been stealing from us all this while!
we inspected all her things, and found a handbag laden with coins.
We asked her where she got it, and she confessed that she's been taking my hubby's coins all this while!
out fault also ... cos hubby always leaves his coins in a bowl! so when the temptation is there, the thief struck !!
the maid got bolder as the days went by ... we discovered estee lauder make-up that she stole from my MIL. dunno what else she's taken from us without our knowledge too! -
Hi KoalaMummy,
Just my 2-cents worth.....do not put any money into this cupboard or you make sure you lock it at all times if got money so that maid cannot access.
Heightened observation of your maid for any other suspicious actions ie. is her behaviour abnormal?
Casual conversation, chat, find out how is her family anybody in need of money etc....Does she has enough money to buy phone card to call home for eg?
:celebrate:KoalaMummy:
hey, i have a questions to ask all of you :
what would you do if you suspect that your maid stole your money in your cupboard, which you already told her not to open. but this is only suspicion cos you can't prove it. but this maid is a good maid, can cook, clean, look after your kids, love your kids, and you like her. what would you do? -
KoalaMummy:
Koala Mummy:liuhao:
keep quiet and put some more money in the cupboard and install a hidden camera, pointing to cupboard...
quite a good idea. but how to install a hidden camera? how much does a hidden camera cost? on the other hand, other than this suspcion, this maid is good. if it proved that she really steals, means you have to send her back??
i don't mean to frighten you, but let me share a true story with you:
my cousin in law had a maid for the longest time .... for over 10 years.
they thot she was DE BEST, cooked well, cleaned well, loved the kids, had initiative etc.
relatives knew the maid too, and treated her like one of the family.
so over the years, they built trust in each other.
the employers trust her totally and leave her to do the marketing etc.
so one day, when the maid was due to go home for a vacation, the employer sent her to the airport.
at the airport, the maid suddenly remembered that she had baked a cake and forgot to bring it.
the maid INSISTED on going home for the cake, but the employers refused. Instead, they just bought her a cake from the airport and told her to bring it home. It doesn't make sense to go home for a cake and foresake the air ticket right?
So the maid went home, and so did the employers.
They didn't think much of the cake, but since its already there in the kitchen, they decided to cut it to eat.
To their horror, they discovered the reason why the maid insisted on returning to get the cake !!
The top and sides were indeed cake, but buried in the cake was a small tin filled with jewellery !!!
Needless to say, the jewellery pieces were small items belonging to the employer and her daughters.
Likewise, my cousin-in-law also never heard from the maid ever again.
The return air ticket was forfeited, and her handphone etc went dead.
Of course there are good maids that are truly honest, but looks can be decieving.
No matter how good a maid is, once you discover that she's been stealing from you .... send her back to her home country immediately!
(i sent my stealing maid back to the agent the very day itself, and bought her the next available flight home!)
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