All About Autism
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SpecialNeeds:
Hi, do you mean your son complains that the words jump on the page? My son has the same exact complaint, and also had signs of dyslexia. Sama sama - jumping words, reversals, missing lines of text, losing place on page etc. I took him to three different places to check his vision and it seems he has difficulties with binocular vision (with 6/6 vision in each eye)and a few other things. He is currently doing vision therapy. I did do all that enlargement of words etc as well, still do sometimes, but ultimately, I think addressing the fundamental vision issue is more important. just something to consider. I know I really puzzled over his eyes for a long time and was rebuffed by quite a few eye practioners who did not believe us and implied he was making up his symptons :x .Another thing is that my son also has a bit of dyslexia. He will read words jumping a bit. And he is left handed. So the standard exam paper that is printed on A4 paper, is not very friendly to him. I would like the paper to be enlarge to a A3 size, if possible, and printed on single side, so that he does not have to flip the pages, otherwise he lost the words. It took him extra effort to over come the turning of pages, and lifting his left hand to read the words otherwise covered by his own hand while writing.
Things like this. Only us parent who help him on day to day basis, know what he needs. -
Visual Perception is the ability to interpret, analyze and give meaning to what is seen. The process of taking in one’s environment is referred to as "perception." If this perception is incorrect or altered in any way, a child will present with reading, spelling, handwriting, maths and comprehension problems.
Visual perception may be connected to physical eye issues but even with 20/20 vision, a child can still struggle to organize visual information.
So, eye practioners are not the right people to see. -
[Editor's note: Topic selected & edited for http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/content/mum-whose-child-diagnose-autism.]Thanks autumnbronze for the recommendation!
Hi ImMeeMee
Am forwarding your post from the other thread to the Autism thread as my sharing is more relevant here. I have read your heartfelt post and I share your grief and anxiety.ImMeeMee:
Like you, my dd1 was also diagnosed to be ASD when she was about 3yo. It turned dh and my world outside down. Life was never the same after that. I can still recall the anguish and turmoil that we went thru. And yet, the diagnosis helped to explain the many \"mysteries\" surrounding her behaviour.my piece was written with great grief in my heart. Our dear daughter 3 has just been assessed to be autistic. This has pretty much turned our lives upside down, as its a whole lot of new things for us - therapy sessions, early intervention school, more assessments on hearing, not the mention the emotional turmoil.
The positive thing to remember is that, in discovering early, you can start your dd on early intervention. This is very important as it will help her and your family cope with AS much more effectively.ImMeeMee:
Remember this: YOU are NOT to be blame. No one is. It is NOT your fault. It is NOT what you ate during pregnancy. It is NOT what you did in the past. It is just how things are.dh has clammed up because of this - i dont know whether i am to be blamed for this, as I have been equally emotional and temperamental myself. where we used to share joy and laughter between us, it is now silence and anguish. I dont know which is worse - dd3's situation or the fact that this may have changed my marriage. and it breaks my heart.
But, the need to pin point a reason to the cause of autism is always there. There are many \"whys?\" and we constantly look for the \"because\". Still, the last thing you should do is to blame yourself.
Your dh's behaviour may mean that he is in denial. And that is natural. Both yourself and your dh are probably going thru the grieving process. There's the denial, the anger and evenutally acceptance. It's getting to the \"acceptance\" part that may take a while. It took me a l-o-n-g while to get there too.
On the other hand, by \"clamming up\", it is his way of coping with the roller coaster of emotions that he is going thru as well. He's probably just as confused, worried and at a loss as you are. Give him the space if need be, but at some point, both of you need to communicate and depend on each other for support.
Will it affect and change the marriage? Yes it will. When a family finds out that a child has ASD, it changes the dynamics of things. But both of u need to be strong for each other. There will be a lot of ups and downs but both must remember that the child is innocent and he/she needs the support of both parents to overcome the challenges.
It was very tough for both dh and myself in the early years (actually sometimes now also tough) but at the end of the day, we remain committed to help and love dd.
So, back to the question on will it effect and change the marriage? Yes it will. It helped to strengthen our marriage and our love for each other and our kids. The thing is that there must be open communication between both husband and wife. Neither you nor your dh should be shouldering the burden and frustrations alone.ImMeeMee:
My take is that, apart from very close family members and selected key individuals (eg. teachers?), you don't need to tell anybody at all. My dh and I have this belief: tell only where necessary or on a needs to basis.while there are friends that i can confide in, i cant seem to talk to anybody on this. it is just too emotional for me. i know this is not the worst, as there are others with worse plights than me, and they have been able to get through. one day i will look back and see that we have passed the worst stage. but at this point here and now, it is just too overwhelming for me.
We choose not to disclose to all as we're only too aware that supposed well-meaning friends and relatives will probably have something to say, which we feel will make us feel worse instead of better.
Yes, it is very overwhelming now. There's this sense of loss, confusion and anxiety. But, whatever you do, don't give up.
Believe and know that it WILL get better.
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Continuing from the above...
How do i know it will get better?
DD1 is 13yo now and is in mainstream school. She is a delightful girl. Very helpful, kind and friendly. She still has language and social skills issues but we are hopeful that with time, she will overcome those challenges.
We have friends whose kids are AS too. In the early years, it was very tough for all of us. Now, they (about 5 kids) are all in mainstream schools.
On finding a support group for your child and yourself
Where possible, it may be good to start a friendship class for your dd. This will help build her social skills and have a group of friends to grow up and play with. It's good for the parents too as it becomes a support group for the adults. You don't have to rush to organise a group now but it will be helpful for her as she grows older.
On developing your child's potential
The thing is to find the strengths of your AS child. Sometimes, it may be a talent, a gifted ability and/or a character strength. Expose your child as much as possible and when you notice her interest, develop her strengths. This will boost her self-esteem as well.
DD1 has an interest in art and photography, so dh and myself constantly encourage her to pursue her interests. Recently, she represented her school in photography and video competitions. She didn't win but we are still very proud of her achievements and how far she has come along. While she may not express well in words, she expresses herself thru her visual arts.
On managing your resources
It seems as if there's much to be done - in terms of early intervention measures: speech/language therapy, OT, diet, behavioural etc
The thing is: there's only so much one can do - in terms of our resources like time and $$. Just do what you can first, within your limits. One thing one step at a time. There's a time and place for everything.
In the meantime, stay strong and have faith. -
Thank you so very very much, Schweppes jie :hugs: :hugs:
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autumnbronze:
Thank you so very very much, Schweppes jie :hugs: :hugs:
:welcome: -
September 21 is having some Autism Spectrum workshops with N. Boyle.
Check it out @ http://www.september21.com.sg
Autism Spectrum Workshop -
Hi all,
After reading the topic on Autism,i don't feel so lonely...
My gal is diagnosed as Oral Dyspraxia and Dyslexic and will be attending Primary one next year. I checked out Pathlight but we were rejected or discouraged i should say as my gal is not Austistic and have no bahavioral problems.
We've been in theraphy ST,OT,SP.ED since she was 2!!!( we started SP ED 2 yrs ago)
My gal has come a LOOOOOOOOONG way and i am soooo very proud of her achivements considering that she could only eat solids and blow her candles only by the age of 4....
My only worries is that teachers will not be as patient or as understanding.
My gal is not eligible for special schools as her non-verbal IQ is above average but her verbal IQ falls below the average range.She is so called \"neither here nor there\" case.
I just hope that she'll be happy in school,once she's not enjoying learning, i will have to homeschool her again.
So for all of you out there with special kids like me,Hang in there for there will always be light at the end of the tunnel... -
Hey funkymonkey
Thanks for sharing. U are definitely not alone.funkymonkey:
Very important to celebrate their little victories. It gives us hope and encouragement that our children are improving and that things are getting better. It gives our child a sense of achievement and helps improve their confidence and self-esteem as well.My gal has come a LOOOOOOOOONG way and i am soooo very proud of her achivements considering that she could only eat solids and blow her candles only by the age of 4....
funkymonkey:
On this note, it's also very important to identify and choose the right school for your child that has a nurturing and caring environment. There are schools like that where it's not about academic results and winning awards, but about cultivating a holistic environment that instills the right values in the students.
My only worries is that teachers will not be as patient or as understanding.
My gal is not eligible for special schools as her non-verbal IQ is above average but her verbal IQ falls below the average range.She is so called \"neither here nor there\" case.
I just hope that she'll be happy in school,once she's not enjoying learning, i will have to homeschool her again.
When I was school hunting a few years back, I visited schools and talked to parents, teachers and even VPs. The school that I decided upon for dd turned out to be my alma mater as well, so I knew I made the right choice. It may not be the top school in Spore, but it created an inclusive environment for all the students there. If I recall, they took in kids who were AS, Dyslexic, and even Downs. Some of the teachers were sent for training to handle special needs students. The principal then (she's left for another primary school) and teachers were really fantastic. In fact it was not just the special needs child who benefitted. The neurotypical kids benefitted as well as they learned to be kind, patient and tolerant to their friends.
:celebrate: -
Dear schweppes,Thanks sooo much for your insights.
I too did my homework and got my gal in a school that focuses on the well being of the child and not academics alone. The many years \"researching\"...hopefully will be fruitful. we still got a long way ahead. :thankyou:
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