All About English Creative Writing

[iamyoung]

Hi Concern.mum and BigDad,


I have sent you a pm...

[singapore45]

Do really consider setting up a branch in the east since there is so many keen parents too. Please pm me the details regarding your plan in the east. Thanks TAS!

[The Alternative Story]

concern.mum:

Hi TAS,

Thanks..your explanations really help...can you help to see what is
wrong with this piece of writing and how to improve?

- I walked faster and faster. The man was coming up from behind me.
He grinned at me and there was a gruel look in his eyes. Fear like a
rollercoaster kind of fear filled my heart. I started to run. The man
chased after me.

And..yes..since so many of us are staying in the east, do really consider it.. do you have many parents staying in the north east on the waiting list.

Hi concern.mum,

No prob

Analysis of composition:

a) The writing has a very similar sentence structure throughout.
Most of the sentences starts with a pronoun like 'I' or a
noun like 'the man'. It will sound stilted when the sentence structures
are all similar. Instead, your child can try to vary it, he or she can
start a sentence with:
1) 'ing' (verbs)
2) 'ed' (adjectives)
3) 'ly' (adverbs).

Eg: Walking faster and faster, I tried to get out of the dark alley as
fast as I could.

Eg: Terrified, I began to sprint.

Eg: Slowly, I turned around, expecting to see one of my school
friends following me.

b) The tension needs to be built up more..the reader is
not able to feel much for the character as it is very descriptive,
instead of just being descriptive, the writer must be able to 'pull' the reader in by building tension.

Eg:

As I walked home, the rustle of the leaves nearby nearly made
me jump.

\"I must stop watching all those horror shows,\" I told myself.

Calming myself down, I continued walking. Thud..thud. What was
that? Turning around, I tried to make out what or who had caused
the sound. However, the gathering darkness seemed to have
filled the alley and pushed out all light. Trembling, I quickened my pace.
Thud..there it was again. I began to run, not caring if the sound came
from a robber, a ghost or just a fallen twig. I had only one aim in
my mind- escape from the alley.

There is no indication of the robber yet but when the child builds up
tension, it makes the reader want to read on and find out what is
happening, rather than tell the reader immediately that a robber
is going to rob the main character.

c) Your child used the phrase 'fear like a roller-coaster kind of
fear'. It is good that he or she is experimenting and trying to
'show' his fear rather than just 'tell' us he is afraid. However,
the phrasing is a bit awkward. You can ask your child to
imagine himself being confronted by a robber and to imagine
the fear he has, it would not be the kind of fear you experience
on a roller coaster but rather a fear that either immobilizes you
or a fear that makes your heart beat faster..so can him to imagine
and to express in words that fear.

Suitable ways to describe the fear:

1) Fear, pulsating and gripping, filled my entire being.
2) I could not breathe, the fear that gripped my heart refused to
let go, rendering me helpless.
3) Trembling, I turned to look at the menacing glare in the robber's
eyes and my mind went blank. A stabbing fear hammered at my heart.
Was I going to die?

d) 'chase after' in the last sentence is grammatically wrong.
It is a common mistake made by many students. When you chase
someone, you will already be going 'after' the person, hence
there is no need for the word 'after'. You either say you 'chased' the
man or you 'ran after' the man.

TAS

[The Alternative Story]

BigDad:

Hi TAS,


How to teach personification for a 8 year old? Is it possible? :?

Hi BigDad,

It is possible if the child is very fast for her age, the child can
recognize when personification is used and perhaps come up
with simple personification structures. However, even if he or
she cannot do so, they can be taught how to 'show' a scene
rather than 'tell' it.

(pri 2 standard):

Telling a scene:

- I am angry

- The park was very crowded.

Showing a scene:

- I clenched my fist and stamped my feet hard on the floor.

- Shouts filled the air as children ran about in the park.

You can help your child to see that showing a scene involves
using your 5 senses to describe the scene rather than just
'telling' a person what the scene is about.

It makes the reader able to picture what you are writing and hence
it is more engaging for the reader.

TAS

[The Alternative Story]

Hi Easterners,


We will let you know if we do have a centre in the East

TAS

[sunflower2005]

http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=Pqt2Do0


This story is wrote by my K1 girl, can anyone help check on her gammar ?
Thank in advance.

* as mummy English very poor.

[onlyykk]

Hi all,


Came across this survey about primary school enrichment centres. Short survey with a chance to win an English enrichment course:

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/learningcentres

Sounds like they are proposing an interesting programme.

[Leanne]

Hi TAS,


For creative writing, may I ask how to rectify the problem in creative writing when they have the problem in Tell and never show in their writing?

thanks.

cheers
Leanne

[starlight1968sg]

sunflower2005:

http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=Pqt2Do0


This story is wrote by my K1 girl, can anyone help check on her gammar ?
Thank in advance.

* as mummy English very poor.

I think your dd did well. I don't remember my dd could write sentences during her k1.

[The Alternative Story]

sunflower2005:

http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=Pqt2Do0


This story is wrote by my K1 girl, can anyone help check on her gammar ?
Thank in advance.

* as mummy English very poor.

Hi sunflower2005,

Like what Starlight said, your daughter can write well for K1, her
thought flow is logical and she can write in mainly in
complete sentences.

The part to work on is her tenses. She uses the present tense
instead of the past tense. Some of her sentence structure is
also grammatically wrong.

Eg:

1) 'All he do is never give up' should be

'All he did was not to give up'

2) 'Finally, he get home' should be

'Finally, he got home

There are a few parts where her sentences are incomplete.

Eg:

1) 'To find a way home' should be

'He had to find a way home'.

A sentence should not start with 'to'.

You can get your daughter to recognize what the past tense
forms of verbs are and when she writes to take note of that aspect.

Let her know also that sentences should not start with 'but',
'and', 'so', 'to' etc.

TAS