Help wif show n tell

[reyanbb]

my dd's kindergarten need to get the kids to do show and tell every term..both english n chinese... she's not a very confident person.. n usually i need to prepare a script for her to \"memorise\" to talk abt the topic... cos she 's not able to speak \"confidently\" ..


she very shy n normally wont strike a conversation wif anyone.. even the other party initiates it.. even her teachers... she may or may not answer them and wont look into their eyes... however to us in the family..she's ok..

i usu will work wif her show n tell..she has no prob memorising and reproducing them and wif intonation etc.. however... when she did it in school.. i kept getting comments fr the teachers that she speak very softly, words all muffled up, and rush thr like a train... despite teaching her at home as the correct speed,tone,pronounciation... which she's able to do so... but normally she cant perform when she's in sch!


the previous chinese S&T was even worst... she recited it so well at home and end up... ask for the script and read it in class.. with almost inaudible voice!

when i ask her what went wrong.. she told me she's scare of her classmates... sigh.. its not the first time and she's has done it at least 5 times n yet...

any advise how i can help her?

i am very affected when the teacher said that she might hv problem wif her pronounciation and is always passive and not participating in class...

but academically..she's doing ok..

[joconde]

Hi reyanbb,


I feel u should focus more on cultivating ur girl’s social skills rather than focusing on getting her to perform at S&T. Cos i think once she’s able to interact well with classmates and feel at ease in class, the S&T will not be a big problem anymore. Otherwise it’s like putting the cart in front of a horse.

Perhaps you can talk to her to find out more about her daily sch life, how she feel, wat she like or dislike… my guess is she’s an introvert and probably would love to mix around but just doesn’t know how to. If there’s a particular classmate she’s like to get close, let ur girl bring small gifts for him/her. This can serve as ice-breaker. Small gifts like stickers, sweets or even a drawing. This’s what my girl do at her kindergarten. She’s constantly giving and receiving stickers, letters, drawings from her classmates. You could also read up books from library on how to cultivate kid’s EQ for more ideas.

But most importantly, do not comment or criticise your child, like saying "why you so shy ? dun just sit here, go talk to your friends lah !.." such comments may hurt the child’s feelings and make them feel inferior. Basically, no ‘labelling’, tat’s very, very impt. Instead, help her build up friendship naturally.

Hope that helps

[mathsparks]

Hi reyanbb,


She’s still young so there’s lots of ways you can encourage her.

My suggestion is to give her lots of opportunities to mingle with kids her age. like attending their birthday parties, going for swimming classes. dancing too if she likes them. Bring her to the zoo and let her play in the pool where she can interact with other kids.

Sign her up for kids run where parents could run with them, go cycling in the park or pick up blading with her. By joining in her various activities, you could help break the ice by chatting with the other kids and slowly including her in the conversation. Expose her to different groups of people in different fun surroundings.

If you’ve already done all these and she’s still shy in front of the class, it could be she has stage fright and I think there are classes out there that helps kids manage this.

[westmom]

Dont’ overworry about this reyanbb…Some kids really do have the "shy genes" and it something not easily overcome. My dd was like that and remained that way despite all the social activities and encouragement that was given to her. I signed her up for all sorts of activities including Act 3, Julia Gabriel speech and drama and it didn’t work as well as I would like it to. Be patient, changes will come…in its own time. I saw my dd beginning to open up in P4 onwards. Meanwhile the advices mentioned here are good…keep that going…it helps!

[mathsparks]

While I do agree that some kids do have shy genes, pls do not leave it till it’s too late. By a certain age if a child is still shy it can pose difficulties as most kids are expected to do presentations in class.


Continue to engage your child in activtities which you can participate in as well so you can help her overcome her shyness amongst people.

[reyanbb]

thanks all for your suggestions..


yes..i encourage her to draw little pics to her classmates.. and also she has her own clique in school... though she took quite a while to be \"accepted\" into the clique.. (cos we chg sch after N2) .. but she seem to get along well wif her classmates... usually after sch..she will tell me all sort of stuff abt her classmates... even knowing their likes n dislikes and hence able to suggest what \"present\" to buy for her classmates on their birthdays..

she might not be the most likeable child in the school.. (i kept getting comments fr teachers that she's clumpsy n hence disruptive-monte sch ... that she' cant speak clearly... that she dont participate... n normally will not speak up ... quite reserve etc... also quite left out at times...).. but i thk she is managing this yr alot better... last yr she alw come home n say she has no friends...

she even came hm n tell me that \"if the teacher knows God, they will like her\".. i was quite sad to hear that..

she seem to b very \"mindful\" abt how others sees her..

i thk she does hv \"shy genes\".. but the teachers alarmed me that she might hv prob in sch if she cant present her ideas or even conversate wif other ppl well .. she nor wont be the first to strike conversation.. n she merely only answer... even teacher ask her question.. she will ans onli the \"necesary\" n wont say more... she nor wont look at the teacher when she ans..

does classes like speech n drama helps? when she's 3 plus..i did let her try S&D for 2 terms...but she's alw in tears in class wif all the props or loud noises when the class is engage in pretends or drama..:( so i pull her out of it..

i am not quite sure hw to handle n mgd her..

[mathsparks]

Hi reyanbb,


Do give my suggestions a go if you havnt done so. Sign her up for activities that both of you can participate.

Expose her to diff groups of ppl in fun activities. Hope that helps.