All About Full-Time Maids

[DesertWind]

ChiefKiasu:

Now... maybe this maid of yours is able to \"psychically\" project herself into your dreams... kekekke... twilight zone time.

Well, Chief, that just shows how troubled I was about this but thanks to pineapple_tart's advice to \"take it easy, we are all just human\" helped me to put things into better perspective.

Also, can you believe that after having this dream about me scolding her etc.. saying all those things that I wanted to say in the dream but dare not say out loud, I actually felt much better? Ke..ke..ke..perhaps fighting in twilight zone time is not so bad after all!

[DesertWind]

Hi 2ppaamm,


wah lau...reading about what your maid did already gave me a headache and I can also feel my blood going into my head! Really admire you for being able to still tolerate on account of pitying her - but I guess she really did not deserve it.

But don't beat yourself over it, she is already gone.

Perhaps you should have a dream like mine and in it, you were beating her up. :rant: I guarantee you after you wake up you will feel so much better! (just teasing...)

2ppaamm:

I had an Indonesian maid who would make me very angry, and would not do what I ask her to do. Despite that, I tried to keep her as I pitied her, I did not want to see her out of a job and had to pay her hefty loan. As a result, I tolerated everything she did.

Nevertheless, I could not stand her leaving my iron in the rain despite me telling her again and again. I don't like my maid climbing over my walls and meet men in hotels, I don't like my maid going to my son's room in the middle of the night, I don't like that she laughed whenever I tell her what she did wrong or singing. As a result, I got angry. Then, I realised that whenever I get angry, my blood would rush to my head and I'll get this headache as I scolded her.

I wished I had let her off earlier. :stupid:

[allseasons]

2ppaamm, I really understood what you've gone through. I sent back my last maid a year ago, she brought many men into our hse when we were away for holiday. One of the men is my neighbour. When we came back, his wife confronted me.. I asked my ex-maid, she admitted and showed some other men photos in her handphone, those photos were taken when they sat on the sofa in our living room. Until today, I still feel bad if I remembered about my ex-maid. Someone I really trusted, misused our trust on her... That's why I prefer to do housework myself without maid now.. :lol:

2ppaamm:

These days, I have a terrible headache whenever I get angry, stressed or very tired. This started about 2 years ago...

I had an Indonesian maid who would make me very angry, and would not do what I ask her to do. Despite that, I tried to keep her as I pitied her, I did not want to see her out of a job and had to pay her hefty loan. As a result, I tolerated everything she did.

Nevertheless, I could not stand her leaving my iron in the rain despite me telling her again and again. I don't like my maid climbing over my walls and meet men in hotels, I don't like my maid going to my son's room in the middle of the night, I don't like that she laughed whenever I tell her what she did wrong or singing. As a result, I got angry. Then, I realised that whenever I get angry, my blood would rush to my head and I'll get this headache as I scolded her.

Even my children could not get me so mad.

She has left for more than a year. My pain stays...

I wished I had let her off earlier. :stupid:

[Breadandmuffins]

DesertWind:

verykiasu2010:

it is time to have a new maid then

Hi verykiasu2010,

If I do this, I suspect I will be exchanging one problem for perhaps 10 other problems!

Hi Desertwind

My DH said the same thing ie its better to live with a \"known\" problem than many \"unknown\" problems with a new maid when my maid had some issues with attitude and HP after 7yrs. We spoke to her about it for about a yr before we sort of \"give up\" and not want to keep her when she wanted to leave when her contract ends this Nov.

You should speak to her nicely like what you suggested abt yr end appraisal. In fact, we had feedback sessions every 2 mths for the first two yrs, and every half yr for the next two yrs. We normally try to consolidate the things we want to feedback to her together, (if not too urgent) so that I do not sound so naggy if I will to tell her for each little thing. DH also very good at giving appraisals ie focus on what she does well first before moving on to what needs to be changed. Its only when we sort of left her \"alone \" ie no more appraisals that she sort of slacken/get distracted with friends. Although I planned to get another maid after she leaves, I know deep in my heart that the new maid will not be able to meet up with my current maid's standard of work sigh.........

[DesertWind]

Hi Breadandmuffins,


Yah lor....I know exactly what you mean....after the maid has worked for few years, it gets more difficult to tell her that her attitude is no longer the same etc.... :sick:

But hey, lets hope that your new maid will be a good one and although may not be like your current maid, will also be able to serve your family just as well!

Breadandmuffins:

Hi Desertwind

My DH said the same thing ie its better to live with a \"known\" problem than many \"unknown\" problems with a new maid when my maid had some issues with attitude and HP after 7yrs. We spoke to her about it for about a yr before we sort of \"give up\" and not want to keep her when she wanted to leave when her contract ends this Nov.

You should speak to her nicely like what you suggested abt yr end appraisal..... DH also very good at giving appraisals ie focus on what she does well first before moving on to what needs to be changed. Its only when we sort of left her \"alone \" ie no more appraisals that she sort of slacken/get distracted with friends. Although I planned to get another maid after she leaves, I know deep in my heart that the new maid will not be able to meet up with my current maid's standard of work sigh.........

[janet88]

Sometimes after sending off a lousy maid, the mental torture and pain still lingers. It’s worse when you treat her as part of the family. It’s a feeling of betrayal.

[janet88]

Hi,

Anyone read in ST forum yesterday, something who mentioned that Singaporeans can well afford to pay Filipino maids US$400 ??? :x I strongly disagree. They are not worth the amt.

[KSmom8]

LKVM:

janet_lee88:

Hi,

Anyone read in ST forum yesterday, something who mentioned that Singaporeans can well afford to pay Filipino maids US$400 ??? :x I strongly disagree. They are not worth the amt.

I totally disagree too...

I think that new Filipino maids are simply not worth US$400 salary! Though they claim to be able to speak english (compared to Indo maids), but in reality, it is often difficult for them to understand us or for us to understand them because of their slang. My family still does not understand my Filipino maid sometimes eventhough she has been in Singapore for almost 6 years. New maids still need to be trained to clean, cook, etc.. In my opinion, they are no better than maids from other countries....so the huge premium for Filipino maids is not justified.

[KSmom8]

janet_lee88:

Sometimes after sending off a lousy maid, the mental torture and pain still lingers. It's worse when you treat her as part of the family. It's a feeling of betrayal.

Agree. We should still treat them well when they are in our employment, after all they are alone in a foreign land earning a living. However, after many \"betrayals\", it is indeed difficult to REALLY treat them as part of the family.

[MrsSeah]

I personally feel, we don't need to treat them as a family but treat them as an employee. We should treat them as what we want to be treated as an employee. :celebrate: