2010 PSLE English
-
dericklee:
Beauty Queen--> Erm, its ok, i guess. u added in some ''outside knowledge'' and that is good. it's not out of point, but i guess it score well. Anyway, it's not funny.
Hahabeauty queen:
my was she was chased by loan shark syndicate group and the extreme suns heat made her dehydrated and parched cauing her to walk unsteadily. I try stop that gy go stab my back and also my friends and slah old lady throat. I wake up smelling a familiar scent look around but was total darkness. Hear my mother sobbing. Ask her waht happen to friends. They die, and i lose my eyesight due to a hitting somewhere in the backbone which causes eyesight to be lost(got read somewheree before) then say i will think my own eyes will return if justice is served.
Described it using alot of phrases. If this ok.....?
Really out of point but quite funny. Did u really write this?
I write mine lose her precious jewels so faint of shock. Friends & I find Jewels. Give us some. We very rich. Very happy . I think quite gd compo.
Derick Lee--> ur story is seriously out of point, not to demoralise u, but just to say, an old woman who lost maybe alot of $$$ worth of jeweries would not one day go to a bus stop, walking towards a teenager/boy/girl, bending down like as if she is very old. image that. I think in reality, that would happen in 1 in a trillion. -
the kiasu student:
Beauty Queen--> Erm, its ok, i guess. u added in some ''outside knowledge'' and that is good. it's not out of point, but i guess it score well. Anyway, it's not funny.
Hahadericklee:
[quote=\"beauty queen\"]my was she was chased by loan shark syndicate group and the extreme suns heat made her dehydrated and parched cauing her to walk unsteadily. I try stop that gy go stab my back and also my friends and slah old lady throat. I wake up smelling a familiar scent look around but was total darkness. Hear my mother sobbing. Ask her waht happen to friends. They die, and i lose my eyesight due to a hitting somewhere in the backbone which causes eyesight to be lost(got read somewheree before) then say i will think my own eyes will return if justice is served.
Described it using alot of phrases. If this ok.....? Really out of point but quite funny. Did u really write this?
I write mine lose her precious jewels so faint of shock. Friends & I find Jewels. Give us some. We very rich. Very happy . I think quite gd compo.
Derick Lee--> ur story is seriously out of point, not to demoralise u, but just to say, an old woman who lost maybe alot of $$$ worth of jeweries would not one day go to a bus stop, walking towards a teenager/boy/girl, bending down like as if she is very old. image that. I think in reality, that would happen in 1 in a trillion.[/quote]
Hi,
Why not?
The old woman had alighted from a bus some time ago. When she reached home, she realised that she had lost her valuable. She believed she might have lost it between the bus stop and home. So she was walking towards the bus stop...................
Can or not ? -
Jojothehusky:
Mine is I say that got robbers rob the granny money, ask my friends and I to help. One friends say we too young, should call police. But another friend ignored. Went to find robbers(granny told us which direction the robbers went). My friend that suggested call police still did so as she did not feel safe. The friend that ignored demanded to the robbers to hand money over when she spotted them. Robbers never give money back but started chasing us with knives. My friend who ignored kenna stabbed. The police then arrived. They split into 2 groups one go and find robbers(as they go away earlier on) the other went to attend to my friend that kenna stabbed. But too late my friend stopped coughing(that means die liao). Every one shocked. Granny kept on saying that her fault. We assured her that it wasn't. I also got say I will nver forget this day. Even though robbers caught liao but I still feel angry whenever I see robbers be it on TV or whatsoever. I still got say I want to become police next time.
Hi,
I see you exercising vigorously. You are dead serious you want to become a policeman. Wait kenna stab ok?
Just for a laugh! -
snowman.697:
You actually memorised the compo?
I've edited it for you
The sun was shining mercilessly with its blazing rays,casting short distinct shadows on the pavement. I was walking to the bus stop with my friends, Sue and Susan. When we reached the bus stop, we waited patiently for the bus to arrive. While I was waiting, an elderly woman, who was walking unsteadily, walked towards me.
'May I know how get to Northpoint Shopping Mall?' she asked me.
'First, you cross the road, then turn right and then left.' I replied in a polite manner.
Upon hearing what I had told her, she walked away ungainly.
Suddenly, a deafening crash filled the air. It was such a terrible symphony that even the deaf Beethoven would be able to hear. Loud piercing screams could be heard too. Anxiety charged through my veins and beads of perspiration trickled down my pale and sallow face.
'Is it an accident?' I thought to myself as wild thoughts raced through my mind. Out of the blue, an explosion reverberated from the car. When I looked over my shoulder, I saw the most horrendous sight I had ever seen. A blue car had knocked down the elderly woman whom I had just spoken to a while ago and had then collided into a big oak tree. My friends and I stood rooted to the ground petrified, with eyes and mouth gaped widely. The car was engulfed in flames. The glass panels of the car were shattered into smithereens. Some of them were stained with blood which made them gleam like rubies under the sunlight.The metal parts of the car were dented due to the sheer impact. After I had regained my composure, I promptly whipped out my phone and dialed the number '999' while one of my friends, Sue called for an ambulance. The scene was soon crowded with onlookers.
Within minutes, wail of sirens could be heard from a distance. Soon, an ambulance and a police car arrived at the scene. Without a moment of delay, the rescue team sprang into actions. Paramedics rendered medical assistance to all the victims while the police condoned off the area. Some of the policemen asked for statements from witnesses while the rest of the policemen investigated the cause of the explosion -> Isn't that obvious?.however, they left no stone unturned.
Luckily,the driver was not seriously injured as he managed to scamper out of the car in the nick of time. However, the elderly woman was very seriously injured and had to be hospitalised for further observation and treatments. Unfortunately, some passers-by were also hurt because of the blast or by flying debris from the car. After the victims who were seriously injured were sent to the hospital, the car was pulled upright by a lorry crane sent by a logistics company while the workers were busily clearing up the wreckage. After what seemed like an eternity, the police finally found out what had exactly caused the explosion. Petrol had leaked from the car's fuel tank and ignited upon impact.
Together with my friends, we continued to wait for the bus to arrive. Every detail of this incident would forever be etched in my mind.
Comments
- Subj verb agreement
- Bad sentence structure
- Dialogue needs new paragraph
- Good use of phrases
- Friends?
Content - 14 (I originally gave 17 but you only talked about what YOU did, and your friends did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, so it does not answer one of the points)
Language - 16
Total - 30/40 -
kiasuss:
the 'upsets' in the answer is not about the past or present form but the singular or plural. there is no past or present form in upset. both is still the same so it depends on the singular or plural of the subject[/quote]There's singular/plural form of upset? :?
I put upset at first, but then changed to upsets then changed to made me upset because it sounded more natural to meMOE Hater:
[quote=\"obsession\"]
My son wrote 'upsets' too which is incorrect. Originally, he wrote 'upset' but he thought like you about 'the fact' bit.
The 'upset' in the question is in the past tense. Thus it should still remain as 'upset' (past tense).
There IS past and present form...base form > upset; simple past tense > upset; past particple > upset
The fact that he did not keep his promise made me upset. (past tense)
Option 1 : The fact that he did not keep his promise upset (past tense) me.
Option 2 : The fact that he did not keep his promise upsets (present tense) me.
I still think it's the first one. If it's the second option, I'll rejoice as that was my child's answer :oops: :lol: Any experts? :?: -
Regardless of where Elsa goes, she has her handphone with her. (P.S. I can’t remember the exact question)
The tricky part is the word ‘where’, which is changed from ‘wherever’. -
obsession:
There's singular/plural form of upset? :?
the 'upsets' in the answer is not about the past or present form but the singular or plural. there is no past or present form in upset. both is still the same so it depends on the singular or plural of the subjectkiasuss:
[quote=\"MOE Hater\"]
I put upset at first, but then changed to upsets then changed to made me upset because it sounded more natural to me
There IS past and present form...base form > upset; simple past tense > upset; past particple > upset
The fact that he did not keep his promise made me upset. (past tense)
Option 1 : The fact that he did not keep his promise upset (past tense) me.
Option 2 : The fact that he did not keep his promise upsets (present tense) me.
I still think it's the first one. If it's the second option, I'll rejoice as that was my child's answer :oops: :lol: Any experts? :?:[/quote]I'll choose option 1.
'He' is singular, but the 'upset' did not have the 's', so the 'upset' is past tense. -
obsession:
There's singular/plural form of upset? :? ...
I went to put Option1 as my answer. At first I went to put Option2 but changed my mind. Option2 just doesn't sound right to me. -
CVPSMASH:
I like your compo, but i dont think its necessary to start your story in class, because it doesn't contribute to your content marks or anything.For Compo,I chose question 3.
That's my compo.... -
Dear All,
I see 2 persons vote for "I want to die".
Pls bear in mind, your family love you & is there to support you so dont ever give up!
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