Advice - Divorce or Not to Divorce

[ZacK]

schellen:

margret2009:

hi, I am new here. I saw so many of you have so much problem with ur wife and husband.


If any is interest to get a PI or Private Investigator; I have a very good one to recommend.

Hi and welcome to KSP.

I think you are mistaken. The \"stories\" here are not ours but of people we know and would like to help. Generally, we have no problems with our families. Thank you for your concern though. It would help if you read through all the posts in this thread carefully.

Hahaha you are like the mummy of the forum protecting her little kids >>> us!!! LOL

[san76]

BlueOcean:

Hi there!

I'm a newbie here
And am in need of some advice...

IF I discover that she had again strayed, I would file for a divorce; only problem is that I do not want to do so till my kids have turned 21 (and thats some 7-8 years time).

Will she be entitled to my savings, pension?

I also read that a PI can cost some $800/day. That's a steep sum... Are there other alternatives?

IF my wife can agree to sign a document to agree to not contest for maintenance nor any part of my wealth, will this be legal in 8 years time?

Should I start seeing a lawyer to better appreciate my options?

Many thanks for the patience and for the answers...

Hi BlueOcean,

I am really so sorry to hear this. There are many things that cause the breakdown in the relationship. The problem maybe you or her or both. Look carefully or get a third party to advise. No bias.

PI- need not to be $800 a day? Just seek for the right one and ask around for more price option and see what they can offer.

If, she really strayed and you have all the edvidence etc... Then file for separation first. Maybe someday you can forgive her.

You are not at any wrong doing to this marriage. You are safe to keep the money and all asset to yourself. Now is divorce and separation. So long she didnt contribute to all your asset, she cant have a share unless prove of her contribution.

Under woman's charter, all woman have the rights to be maintenanced by husband, unless she is capable or have another family.

Let me tell you 1 thing, now your kids saw all these happenings, please sit down with them and talk it out. Explain yourself to them and the entire happening. They have the rights to know. If you dont tell them, they will ask their friends and things will go hay wire somedays.

Dont swear or say anything bad about their mom, Just tell them the fact that this marriage is upset and is coming to an end. Secure them that you will never leave them and make sure you are there for them when they needed you. Dont care about 8 or 9 years time. Now if you dont clear the air, they wont be happy.

If you apply for separation, pls get edvidence and file with it. This way there is no way to contest. Let your wife stay in the same home but different room. The kids will still get to see the mom and dad. Think about it. Once the separation is filed, you have no rights to interfere what she is doing etc.... Can you do it? Never lay hands on her again. She cant bring any man home though she agreed going with the separation.

The most painful person is not you or wife, they are the kids. You really have to tell them the true then hiding from them. Each time the kids sense that you both are unhappy, you can see from their face too.

Think carefully.

Take care.

San76

[schellen]

ZacK:

Hahaha you are like the mummy of the forum protecting her little kids >>> us!!! LOL

Aiyoh, you make me sound like old auntie like that. I'm not that old, you know. :roll:

[ChiefKiasu]

schellen:

... Aiyoh, you make me sound like old auntie like that. I'm not that old, you know. :roll:

Welcome back schellen! Heard from sashimi that you were sick. Flu? :!: Hope you are better now.

[BlueOcean]

Hi San76,


Thanks for taking the time to empathise… think I’m so down that hearing another person’s voice is just comfort to me.

I have decided to see a lawyer to get a better sense of my options; from there I hope and pray that I will be able to make the right decisions.

Thanks again!

BlueOcean

[ZacK]

schellen:

ZacK:

Hahaha you are like the mummy of the forum protecting her little kids >>> us!!! LOL

Aiyoh, you make me sound like old auntie like that. I'm not that old, you know. :roll:

Hahaha for all you know.. I'm even older than you

[ZacK]

BlueOcean:

Hi San76,


Thanks for taking the time to empathise... think I'm so down that hearing another person's voice is just comfort to me.

I have decided to see a lawyer to get a better sense of my options; from there I hope and pray that I will be able to make the right decisions.

Thanks again!

BlueOcean

Sorry cant really offer much valuable advice... But do hope that all will work out for you

[schellen]

ChiefKiasu:

Welcome back schellen! Heard from sashimi that you were sick. Flu? :!: Hope you are better now.

Yup, better now. Thanks for your concern.

Must get better cos sch hols coming. Got plans....

[schellen]

BlueOcean:

Hi San76,


Thanks for taking the time to empathise... think I'm so down that hearing another person's voice is just comfort to me.

I have decided to see a lawyer to get a better sense of my options; from there I hope and pray that I will be able to make the right decisions.

Thanks again!

BlueOcean

Good luck and anytime you need comforting words or a \"listening ear\", you can always come back here. ^_^

[schellen]

ZacK:

Hahaha for all you know.. I'm even older than you

No offence but I think you are right.