Do you cane your daughters when they misbehave?

[Mrsbongz]

I just bought 1 a mth back… after we realise that spanking doesn’t work anymore. But I only cane for serious offences like fighting, the lesser offences is still time-out.

[jedamum]

buds:

\"Do you cane your daughters when they misbehave?\"


YES! :rubhands:

:!:

[notabox]

Just to share. Me and my sisters were caned often when we were young so I know first hand caning doesn’t work. The kid may appears obedient when he is young, not because lesson was learnt but because he is defenseless against you and that you can hurt him. It is really pointless to tell him afterwards that it was done for his own good and out of love. I grew up resenting my parents and was not close to them until they grew old and when I have my own children.


So for my children, I apply time out but alas, started hitting them with my hands 2 years back as well.

Now I am trying to refrain myself from doing so after having attended a parenting workshop by Focus on the Family recently. The topic was Dare To Discipline. One often think discipline is to punish but they are really different in that the former is done out of love and without anger. The speaker suggests letting a child understands and bears a consequence (such as no tv) instead of a beating or time out when he misbehaves. Then reward the child when he does behave so the child is made to be responsible for his own actions.

The speaker also mentioned ‘discipline is to move towards achieving self discipline in the child’. This is what we parents should aim to do.

[Trapwithin]

notabox:

Just to share. Me and my sisters were caned often when we were young so I know first hand caning doesn't work. The kid may appears obedient when he is young, not because lesson was learnt but because he is defenseless against you and that you can hurt him. It is really pointless to tell him afterwards that it was done for his own good and out of love. I grew up resenting my parents and was not close to them until they grew old and when I have my own children.


So for my children, I apply time out but alas, started hitting them with my hands 2 years back as well.

Now I am trying to refrain myself from doing so after having attended a parenting workshop by Focus on the Family recently. The topic was Dare To Discipline. One often think discipline is to punish but they are really different in that the former is done out of love and without anger. The speaker suggests letting a child understands and bears a consequence (such as no tv) instead of a beating or time out when he misbehaves. Then reward the child when he does behave so the child is made to be responsible for his own actions.

The speaker also mentioned 'discipline is to move towards achieving self discipline in the child'. This is what we parents should aim to do.

Alternative view. I am also cane a lot when young. It might not have an immediate impact but it does help me in the long run, because I know they do it for my good. In fact, every time before the \"caning\", I will be counsel for 1-2 hrs sometime before the caning starts. I am always convinced after the counselling that though they do not want to cane me but still have to do it so that I will remember. We will both be crying and the caning starts, after that follow by hugging sessions.

I am surprised to hear Focus on the Family do not believe in caning. What happen to \"Spare the Rod and Spoilt the Child\" :?

[Trapwithin]

jedamum:

buds:

\"Do you cane your daughters when they misbehave?\"


YES! :rubhands:

:!:

Hee hee ... didn't you see her avator .. the Catwoman do more than caning .. she whips and slashes .. :evil:

[Augmum]

jo-tane:

My husband is the one who canes. Boy and girl all the same...cane buttock. I always the one who rub zambuk on their backside after that.

poor kids
think u must be heartache when u rub zambuk on their backsides

I never can my gal b4, though when she was young, i often said to my hub,
\" the next shopping trip, i shd buy a cane.........\"

[Imp75]

no we don’t need to cane our girls, they are not naughty enough for us to use the rod.

[2ppaamm]

I’m going to sound like a child abuser. But I did cane my older daughter once 26 times. Very hard, to the point she asked for a break at the 21st time.


She did something really bad. She lied to me and accused her friend of something she ‘guessed’. Then, she covered each lie with another one, hoping to cover up.

The rule in the house is, 1 cane for doing something that hurts people, and 3 canes for not owning up and lying. I added all those up and it was 26 canes.

That was about the only time I ever caned her, because she is generally well-behaved. From then on, she had never lied to me again. That was when she was only 9 years old, P3.

Spare the rod, spoil the child. It was painful but I guess I had no choice, I set the rules, I obey them as well.

When I do use the cane, it must be an agreed action between the child and me, and never the chasing around kind. It is a very long process (sometimes a few hours) but I guess if we want to use the cane, we’d better be sure or the kid becomes bitter and resentful.

[notabox]

2ppaamm:

That was about the only time I ever caned her, because she is generally well-behaved. From then on, she had never lied to me again. That was when she was only 9 years old, P3.

Relieve to hear it was the only time!

I do not know about the rest of you but I tend to get harsher at each subsequent beatings so I try to remind myself not to use the cane even once otherwise there will be no turning back (for me lah) and I will well end up a child abuser in no time.

I have problem at self restraining when I get mad :oops:.

[2ppaamm]

LKVM:

2ppaamm:

I'm going to sound like a child abuser. But I did cane my older daughter once 26 times. Very hard, to the point she asked for a break at the 21st time.

:!: :!: 26 times... where did you hit her? did you keep hitting her the same place?

Hit her on her buttocks. She has to prone on the bed and cannot resist. Otherwise, I will increase. That's why, after 21 times, she said, \"Mama, can you wait a while, it is very painful, I need a break.\"

Quite poor thing, hor? If I don't teach her, who will?