Do you cane your daughters when they misbehave?
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no we don’t need to cane our girls, they are not naughty enough for us to use the rod.
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I’m going to sound like a child abuser. But I did cane my older daughter once 26 times. Very hard, to the point she asked for a break at the 21st time.
She did something really bad. She lied to me and accused her friend of something she ‘guessed’. Then, she covered each lie with another one, hoping to cover up.
The rule in the house is, 1 cane for doing something that hurts people, and 3 canes for not owning up and lying. I added all those up and it was 26 canes.
That was about the only time I ever caned her, because she is generally well-behaved. From then on, she had never lied to me again. That was when she was only 9 years old, P3.
Spare the rod, spoil the child. It was painful but I guess I had no choice, I set the rules, I obey them as well.
When I do use the cane, it must be an agreed action between the child and me, and never the chasing around kind. It is a very long process (sometimes a few hours) but I guess if we want to use the cane, we’d better be sure or the kid becomes bitter and resentful. -
2ppaamm:
Relieve to hear it was the only time!That was about the only time I ever caned her, because she is generally well-behaved. From then on, she had never lied to me again. That was when she was only 9 years old, P3.
I do not know about the rest of you but I tend to get harsher at each subsequent beatings so I try to remind myself not to use the cane even once otherwise there will be no turning back (for me lah) and I will well end up a child abuser in no time.
I have problem at self restraining when I get mad :oops:. -
LKVM:
Hit her on her buttocks. She has to prone on the bed and cannot resist. Otherwise, I will increase. That's why, after 21 times, she said, \"Mama, can you wait a while, it is very painful, I need a break.\"2ppaamm:
I'm going to sound like a child abuser. But I did cane my older daughter once 26 times. Very hard, to the point she asked for a break at the 21st time.
:!: :!: 26 times... where did you hit her? did you keep hitting her the same place?
Quite poor thing, hor? If I don't teach her, who will? -
LKVM:
LKVM won't hit cane your kids right ?2ppaamm:
Quite poor thing, hor? If I don't teach her, who will?
My opinion, I might be wrong what if the child become too stubborn after all these canning and then one day she will just say wat more can u do other than increasing the number of canes....
If things can be resolved by love and maybe a stare it should go long way.. i still get scared if my dad stare me quite hard i know i have done something bad....but again I might be wrong and people might have different ways of correcting the mistakes.. I atleast cannot beat my kid maybe more than 3 times.
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2ppaamm:
I practise that too. It is sometimes a very long process but definitely worthwhile.Spare the rod, spoil the child. It was painful but I guess I had no choice, I set the rules, I obey them as well.
When I do use the cane, it must be an agreed action between the child and me, and never the chasing around kind. It is a very long process (sometimes a few hours) but I guess if we want to use the cane, we'd better be sure or the kid becomes bitter and resentful.
I still remembered the time I was caned >50 times when I was young but prior to that I have a 2 hour counselling sessions. Looking back, I remembered it was not easy, we both cried throughout the sessions. -
Trapwithin:
Well, that's about the only time I caned her as far as I remember. Most importantly, she won't lie to me anymore. It is very sad when a child lies to his/her own parent, because we cannot help them. We are the only ones who will always be on their side, and they need to remember that.
I practise that too. It is sometimes a very long process but definitely worthwhile.2ppaamm:
Spare the rod, spoil the child. It was painful but I guess I had no choice, I set the rules, I obey them as well.
When I do use the cane, it must be an agreed action between the child and me, and never the chasing around kind. It is a very long process (sometimes a few hours) but I guess if we want to use the cane, we'd better be sure or the kid becomes bitter and resentful.
I still remembered the time I was caned >50 times when I was young but prior to that I have a 2 hour counselling sessions. Looking back, I remembered it was not easy, we both cried throughout the sessions.
I've seen how other children talk about their parents behind their backs, and it pains me. I don't want that to happen to my children. Teaching them young is better than having others teach them, I guess. -
I also caned my 30mths old gal.
When she is stubborn and refused to listen, we will cane her. Usually cane her legs. The father will just cane on her buttock but the problem is she is wearing diaper so where got pain.
But the moment we take cane, she will cry and say ‘pain pain’. If I cane, she will cry for awhile and stop but if father cane, she will cry until her father sayang her.
I do believe that the more we use cane, the more stubborn she will be. -
angela:
O, then don't cane her any more...
I do believe that the more we use cane, the more stubborn she will be.
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2ppaamm:
I'm going to sound like a child abuser.
No you don't. In fact, you've yet to hear mine..
While it pains me to do what i said i will, i have to or else..
It will forever be empty threats or indecisive disciplinary rules.
But yes, the severity of the issue that requires corporal punishment
had been set in adv & also given sufficient warning and learning from
mistakes period as well.. not/never for first time offences.
My DD1 did something almost the same thing yours did.. trying
to get a friend into trouble; cos like you say, as parents we are
always on their side ya know...
But not to the extent of
taking advantage of that trust.
Lying ie. white lie... to save oneself or someone else or some sort
along that pattern, is different from lying to get someone into trouble.
I detest that i had to be a part of it. And yes, i do agree that the sessions
for counsel before & after are important.... in fact, my daddie used to run
by me similar disciplinary measures and not once (after reflections) i felt
that he did me wrong in any way... or felt that he abused me in any way.
To me, had he spared the rod with me... i wud have been a helluva spoilt brat!
So, thanks daddie.. and yes it worked.
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