Do you cane your daughters when they misbehave?
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LKVM:
Maybe.... but still I feel using external objects on my kid is not my cup of tea(just my opinion).....
On the contrary, i've heard and read that hitting or punishingbuds:
[quote=\"LKVM\"]My hands are enuf :evil:
btw DH says my hands quite hard
with one's own hands have worse effects on a child's emotional
psyche as compared to using a third party (object eg. cane)... cos
of the touch from skin to skin.
:P[/quote]:celebrate: Hey, no worries! :celebrate:
Different strokes for different folks! :hugs: -
mrswongtuition:
The logic is... Hand is for \"sayang\", not punishment.
That just about sums it up.
:celebrate: -
2ppaamm:
Just like the word 'no', if we keep saying 'no', the kids will do everything they want regardless of your 'no's', so I try to say yes to most things but when it is a no, it is a strict NO.
I agree. :hi5:
It's a case of positive reinforcement...
Like if the child is usually spilling his drinks on the way to the kitchen sink..
You're always saying don't spill... don't spill and yet it still spills.. :roll:
But when you say, please carry the cup properly... it doesn't spill.
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ksi:
Hey buddy, I must tell you I really have to humble myself and re-learn or unlearn some things as a parent.
Yeah.. learning as we go along and also exercise some flexibility in parenting.
I agree that we do have to re-learn certain things to cater to the needs and
changes of growing children in this generation and the next.. They are no longer
the kinda kids that you can stare with eyes big big and drop the nonsense at an
instance kind. :lol: Unlike during our time... more docile.
Kids these days will either stare back at ya... or worse... ask you blatantly why
you're staring at them... sigh.. :roll:ksi:
I agree.. :hi5:I only have one experience apart from looking after others' kids, you have 5, can't beat that kind of experience!
Can't beat that! -
buds:
Ha ha! I'm gong to try NOT to use this don't spill, don't spill thing and instead use positive reinforcement more. I'm going to try very hard not to use negative words... for the next week and see if things get better! Thanks for the tip!2ppaamm:
Just like the word 'no', if we keep saying 'no', the kids will do everything they want regardless of your 'no's', so I try to say yes to most things but when it is a no, it is a strict NO.
I agree. :hi5:
It's a case of positive reinforcement...
Like if the child is usually spilling his drinks on the way to the kitchen sink..
You're always saying don't spill... don't spill and yet it still spills.. :roll:
But when you say, please carry the cup properly... it doesn't spill. -
I discipline my kids when they are rude, talk back or throw tantrums. As for doing badly for school, I have good talk with them…explain to them the consequences.
Discipline is crucial from young. -
mrswongtuition:
The logic is... Hand is for \"sayang\", not punishment.
Won me over! Will go buy a cane tomorrow!
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buds:
It is alright to spill but here is the mop for you to clean up the mess! I am sure that will work very well too!2ppaamm:
Just like the word 'no', if we keep saying 'no', the kids will do everything they want regardless of your 'no's', so I try to say yes to most things but when it is a no, it is a strict NO.
I agree. :hi5:
It's a case of positive reinforcement...
Like if the child is usually spilling his drinks on the way to the kitchen sink..
You're always saying don't spill... don't spill and yet it still spills.. :roll:
But when you say, please carry the cup properly... it doesn't spill.
-
LKVM:
Its so much fun learning different things when discussing here... but yes different strokes for different folks... :celebrate: :hugs:
I'm really late to this thread but am throwing some cyber moral support your way, Lkvm.
Am completely on yr side as I think more or tougher discipline simply means the kids acclimatize to a different level.
Maybe we all have different kids, and we each know what works best for them.
:celebrate: -
Yap Blobbi that's right.. if one can discipline kids without the cane then
why not? As long as they're disciplined right from young and know rite
from wrong, any strokes that works for the different folks do work.
Children are all born different. Just that some of us feel sparing the rod
spoils the child. :evil: There were some parents i spoke to who said,
better we cane them now (for grave offences of course) rather
than next time somebody else does it for us, touch wood.
I've seen parents who still use the slow talk hug hug sayang sayang
method on their children when they spit at the teachers' and friends'
faces when they don't get things done their way... and beat their
friends for no reason and topple or mess up all their toys. Not
even a scolding. :roll: They actually even slap their moms
when they are being advised.. how like that?
Parents must also know where to draw the line between something
that will not be tolerated and something that can still be counselled.
But that again is my personal opinion.. cannot let them go too far
without proper discipline and firmness of rules.
Haven't seen you around much, Blobbi... :hugs:
Hope everything's fine at your end..
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