Club SAHM

[pebble]

Hi all, this is my 3rd month being a SAHM to a 11 year old girl and a 9 year old boy. Very challenging and I am still learning to take things easy at home…

[Kayelinht]

Hi everyone,


I am new to KSP forum. Was introduced to it by a friend. Have been a SAHM for 2 years and loving it. :love:

[dearzen]

Hi,


I'm abt 10mths old SAHM. My energy is draining out leh after taking care of 2 kids of 33mths old and 15mths old. Temper aso become bad. Sigh.. Sometimes i wonder if i'm fit 2 be a SAHM...

[Admummy]

dearzen:

Hi,


I'm abt 10mths old SAHM. My energy is draining out leh after taking care of 2 kids of 33mths old and 15mths old. Temper aso become bad. Sigh.. Sometimes i wonder if i'm fit 2 be a SAHM...

Dearzen, is it very stressful? What's your typical day like? I have thought of quitting my job and be SAHM...currently im working full time with DD1 and DS2 at full day childcare while maid and DS3 @ in laws place and I fetch them home daily...having sleepless night on the decision to make...any tips to share, what are some traits and quality a SAHM should have?

[24hr-mum]

hi


i hv been a sahm for coming to 6 yrs liao, ever since #2 was born. i do some freelance translation but its very ad hoc basis.

for me, i hv no regrets becos being sahm. i became 1 becos i cant tahan the way my mil handles my #1 (read: pamper). plus she also cant handle two children alone.

but caution: if u are sahm with mil under 1 roof, conflicts are likely to occur cos u face her 24/7

back to myself, being a sahm means u hv time to discipline ur kids, teach ur kids small lifeskills n habits eg how to pack their own things, etc etc. plus hv time to coach their schwk. n also more time to bring them out.

being a ftwm also can discipline n coach the kids, but of cos the wk may drain off ur energy before u reach hm.

being sahm also means u hv time to housekeep the house, go shopping, research on the net, etc. got to go marketing n hsewk urslf if no helper. but then u get to control ur kitchen etc

down side: no $ lor, unless u get allowance whc i dont. got to tighten the belt.

so its a very personal decision. no right or wrong

[dearzen]

Admummy:

dearzen:

Hi,


I'm abt 10mths old SAHM. My energy is draining out leh after taking care of 2 kids of 33mths old and 15mths old. Temper aso become bad. Sigh.. Sometimes i wonder if i'm fit 2 be a SAHM...

Dearzen, is it very stressful? What's your typical day like? I have thought of quitting my job and be SAHM...currently im working full time with DD1 and DS2 at full day childcare while maid and DS3 @ in laws place and I fetch them home daily...having sleepless night on the decision to make...any tips to share, what are some traits and quality a SAHM should have?

Hi Admummy,

I have a helper at home, and currently staying wif my dad. Outsiders may think i hv such a good life, SAHM, still got helper and dad ard 2 help...

BUT 4 me, i rather do without a helper. And u knw staying wif ur own parents or inlaws, bound to hv conflicts here and there...

As my #1 is super clingy 2 me, I cant tk care of my #2 most of the time... Due 2 siblings jealousy, both my #1 & #2 start to \"fight\", beat, scold each other.. I hv 2 be the disciplinary master to separate them apart, reasons wif them etc.. (As if my #2 knows, ha...) and at the same time, hv 2 eye power the helper.

If u ask me stressful anot, i would say so far not stress 2 tk care of kids. (i hope so!) it is the helper issue tat mk me stress... sometimes i tink back my bad temper mainly due to having a stranger at home which i dislike the idea of having one @ home in the the beginning but due 2 some reasons, we must hv one. i tell hb tat i dun wish 2 hv helper ard but hb wan cos he is often not in SG..

My typical day starts wif taking care of my 2 kids (milk, bathing, lunch, afternoon milk and nap 4 #1, dinner, bedtime milk, sleep,#2 will be handled by helper for the afternoon milk and nap, bedtime milk and sleep).

Will bring both downstairs walk/play either in the morning or evening.

Seems like nothing much but all this little chore here and there alredi take up most of my time. I can onli go online when both nap.. Other than tat, i will be bz taking care, reading, playing with them...

My friends all encourage me that I can do without a helper since I'm alredi so hands on wif my kids even I got helper @ home. BUT I worry is the kids who fall sick. If hb not ard, then how...

But due 2 some issues wif my helper, I more or less conclude tat i will do away wif her once her loan finished.. No point keep a helper which I tink i can do a better job than her.. I mean afterall it is my hse, helper wont sincerely do a gd job... Sorry if i offend any1 here who hv helper...

Admummy,

tink u can be SAHM since ur 2 kids r in CC. U oni need 2 handle #3. Hw old is ur #3?

[24hr-mum]

i understand hvg to deal with a helper that is not of much help.

i am very blessed cos i hv a gd helper. it helps when i hv to send 1 of the kids to tuition and can leave the other 2 kids with my helper who can also cook dinner for me.
my helper is better than my mil cos she can help discipline my kids - in fact my #3 who was taken care largely by my helper, has to learn to be independent (my helper will train her to keep toys etc) n serve others (she sees my helper tidy up the hse and copy her actions).

my #3 is the only child who has never left her high chair at meal times ever since she started solids at 6 mths. she can sit thru entire wedding dinner. unlike #1 and #2 when young. reason being when #1 and #2 was young, my mil who was still stayg wif me, will carry them out of the hi chair when they cry , and let them run around, sit on the flr to eat etc

when #3 was born, my mil moved out bcos she cant tahan the competition against me and against my maid over the kids : )

back to being sahm, it really depends on the individual. for some women their calling is motherhd. for some women, they cant tahan handle kids whole day, along with loss of career n income n perhaps self esteem

[dearzen]

hi,


envy u got a gd helper. 4 mine, i hv 2 teach her every little step in taking care of my kids. I asked her if she knw my son's daily routine after she is here 4 at least 2 mths. She can look @ me and said NO. I was like... Huh... U r here to tk care of my kids(main priority, i told her over phone when i interview her, i told her again when she 1st arrived @ my place, told her again on and off) And yet she can tell me she doesnt know... So 4 me, i feel that she doesnt put her heart and effort....

I didnt expect myself 2 be a SAHM at all when my #1 arrived. I was phobia and quite resistant at the thought of staying at home to take care of kids! :oops:

But when my #2 abt 2 arrive and had arrived, i felt the NECESSARY 2 stay home wif my kids mainly due 2 the fact tat i dun hv my mum 2 help me. Though i hv my dad ard 2gether wif the helper, i still feel not safe. U knw la, men are always men, mostly r boh chaps? Hee...

So far i never regret giving up my job and be SAHM, I jz wonder if i m fit 2 be one anot cos sometimes i dun hv patience wif my kids lor.. :oops:

[24hr-mum]

my helper is good. but she also started to slack after wkg for me for 3.5years.


if u can afford it, its better to look after kids urself. A mother is certainly more meticulous and concerned abt the kids than compared to grandparents or maid. can never trust maids totally too. and u r right, men are men. they may keep an eye on tv while ‘keeping an eye on the kid’ at the same time.

a friend of mine, when her girl was toddler, broke one of her finger. at the time of the incident, the hubby was around but in the rm, the maid and the granny were around but sometime when the little girl climbed up and sat on the 3-legged marble table, they either never notice or too slow, the whole table top toppled and hit the little girl’s finger n broke it! lucky the broken finger was found n the hubby immediately wrapped it in ice n drove the child to hospital n managed to attach it back. u see, even wif adults around, accidents can still happen. just one second.
the mum was working at that time.

me too, i stopped working when #2 arrived cos cant tahan how my mil pampers my girl and she cant handle two kids alone. she cant run after them. both will fall. cant control, discipline or understand how the kids can feign this n that…

[24hr-mum]

just curious, does any sahm regret or feel low self-esteem when she thinks of the career sacrifices and how far ahead her peers have climbed in the corp ladder? the loss of income, bonus, rank?

and worry abt no money to retire?

i wasnt a high flyer before i quit, in fact half the time i was thinkg of my kids at wk.

but i do feel low self esteem when i meet up wif my girl friends who are workg mums. esp if my child doesnt top the class, i wonder whether shd i go n work n just farm out the education to better tution classes n see others also work n their child can do better than mine…