How to turn kids be more sociable?

[kingster]

my son is also 3 this year. and whenever a kid or someone tries to play with him, he will run to us and stay away from the kid. not sure how to get him to play with them. he is soooooooooooooo reluctant in doing so… hope he gets better when he starts his nursery…

[jkids]

hi all


sorry for the late reply.

my kids are better after i sent them to child care centre few mths ago. they initially attended 1.5-3h lessons.

think letting them mix with diff age group helps as they see and play wif one another everyday. they used to not want to play at the public playground if there are other kids around, but now, they are fine to play at the playground wif others around.

[kiasu_pig]

DS1 is coming to 4 and has been attending preschool for 2 years (now in N1). DS1 always act so shy in front of me and my spouse when we went to pick or drop him at school. However, his teachers (more than 1) always told us that DS1 is very sociable in class, having made friends in other classes, from toddler class, to N2 and even K1 and K2. These kids knew him and always waved or greeting him whenever we went to drop or pick him up. So we are puzzled and don't know whether we should doubt the teachers' words or to trust our own observations? I guess, sometimes, kids are such shy in front of his own parents for fear of getting scolded ...

:celebrate:

Last week DS1's school had a graduation concert and he participated in two skits. We were very surprised that he was so active and was able to dance and run around to the music! And maintaining contact with the audience! And we realised that that's only when he didn't see us (we were in the audience and the lights were quite dim)

But still, like this morning, brought him to school, and he began his shy-shy pattern again. Haiz.

[jedamum]

our kids not sociable, we are concerned.

our kids too sociable, we are also concerned. my 4yo talks to anyone who shares the same lift as us; telling them that he stays at which floor or where he is going. :faint:

[Chenonceau]

jedamum… lol


I have one who could talk so much a stone would get up to get away from her. I have another who at 7 years old explained patiently "I didn’t say anything because everyone has said what needs to be said."

It’s personality trait… no need worry too much. Nothing wrong with kid. Just like some are left and some are right handed. Both also ok lah…

[sparkie0209]

Hi there, any tips to share on how to get a 2yo to look at the person whom she is speaking to? Thanks.

[jedamum]

sparkie0209:

Hi there, any tips to share on how to get a 2yo to look at the person whom she is speaking to? Thanks.

my ds2 is already 4yo. his eye contact is improving as he grows up.
what i am doing is that whenever he asked for something or is talking to me, i remind him to look at me in the eye. his eyes will somehow wandered away in the middle of the sentence. he is getting better now though.
eg
ds2 : mummy i want (look at ceiling) to drink milk.
me teasing: you asking the ceiling to make milk?
giggles....
me : look into my eyes and ask again.
ds2 : mummy, i want to (look at his bro beside me) drink milk.
me teasing : gege can make milk for you??
giggles...
me : look into my eyes and ask again.
ds2 : mummeeeeeeeee, i want to drink (glanced away for a sec then looks back) milkkkkkk....
me : oh, you asking me....ok.

it can get tiring for the kid to work on stuff like this (the same goes with proper speech), so practice it with your kid only maybe once or twice a day and not throughout the day because the kid may get frustrated.

MHO.

[sparkie0209]

Thanks, jedamum for ur pointers. Will try them out.

[Mamalicious Alicia]

Hi sparkie0209,


I would not be too concerned either. Everyone is different. We should not be worried if our children are not behaving what we are expecting them to be.



P.s Jedamum, your kids are so cute…my eldest son behaves rather similar too. Cannot concentrate and easily distracted.

Mamalicious Alicia

[ANobleNerd]

Every child is different, and each has their own personality.


I think while it's good to stretch our kids to be more open to new situations, we also need to allow them to be confident in their own skin.

My almost 5-yo daughter takes a longer time to warm up in any new room - even if she has been in that particular room weekly for the past 2 years. Once she's comfortable, she becomes a little more warm, but it's unlikely for her voice to be heard. With new people, she'll stare off in the middle distance and not engage, even when the new people are all gushing over her. In our home though, hers is the loudest voice, many times telling her brothers what to do etc.

She is most unlike our outgoing boys (who can be counted upon to shake hands and greet new people - even strangers on the MRT!), but we attribute it more to her personality than be concern about the manner in which she engages new people in outside environments.

We do talk to her about what is expected behaviours; that she needs to greet our friends and relations, that she needs to ask for permission for doing things in a formal environment etc, but where the behaviour stems from personality, we are fine with taking a step to allow her to be in her own comfort zone.

After all, there are many adults who are introverted or extroverted, and each personality takes their energy in the way they engage with their environment.