All About Full-Time Maids

[cookiecreature]

Hi Tamarind, need an advise from you though my problem is very small.


My maid is less than two month old, I send her to my baby sister house in the morning to learn how to take care of kids cos she has no experience.

She told my baby sitter today that i scold her because she give honey to the kids w/out asking me. This morning I already noticed that her unhappy face that and called my babysitter beforehand to watch out for her behavour …

My maid told my baby sitter abt me scolding her (which I did not scold her, I just tell her like normal conversation)… So, my baby sitter explain to her that my girl is sensitive to many foods and that madam is telling you not scolding you.

After an hour later, heard that the maid told my girl "don’t do that otherwise, you will complain to your mummy and I will get scolded again".

From here I reckon that she is a very petty person. I will be moving soon and kids will be under her care from 5pm to 8pm before we are home…
I need someone who is not so prideful and will take instruction w/out holding grudges… I don’t want to be in the mercy of the maid because of my kids…

I intend to sit down with her tonight to tell her that if she cannot hold her pride as a maid, i will ask her to choose another employer… what do you think?

[tamarind]

cookiecreature,

Your maid does seem to be a very petty person. But then as employers we must point out the maid’s mistake whenever necessary. You can try to observer her further, and try to speak to her in a very cool and calm tone when you point out her mistakes. If she is really that sensitive, then instead of telling her, write her a message. Then she cannot accuse you of scolding her.

I advise employers never to raise their voice at the maid. The reason is that the maid may hate you and who knows what she will do behind your back.

I think when you talk to her, you should not ask her to choose another employer. Some maids can get very upset when they hear this. I got one ex-maid who went crazy when I told her this. There is no need to tell a maid if you intend to send her away. Just arrange everything quietly and inform her the day she is supposed to go.

[cookiecreature]

Okay thanks for your prompt advise.

I will do that tonight. Thanks alot!

[Admummy]

My maid is gg back to Java for 2 wks leave before returning to Singapore to renew another 2 yrs contract with me. This is the first time she going back since aug 2007. I am really worried that she will get pregnant when she return. I ever consulted a GP during my maid’s 6mthly checkup about my concern. GP advice was to prescribe birth control pills for her (2 mths only)…i am in dilemma now…on one hand, i feel like proceeding with it on the other hand, i feel not ethical to do so…my main concern is that it so happen that it’s her fertile period during that period…i really dun want her to get preggy, so far i have already renewed her passport, work permit and even bought insurance for her…besides I need her back since i am expecting now…advise anyone pls?

[jedamum]

hi admummy,

pls post all about maids http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?t=903&start=0.
TQ

[buds hubs]

arisz:

Never-ending problem. We are thinking of making police report ....but don't know useful or not. Do you all think I should make police report or just sent her home straight away. But like that is like letting a thief go scott free. I'm so pissed!

Hi, this is just my suggestion for you to consider:

If you decide not to lodge a police report,
there are two things which can happen.

1) Maid gets sent back to the agent and
you get a replacement maid. The agency
then transfers the old one to another unlucky
employer. Chances are, she might repeat the
same thing again and the poor employer will
suffer the same fate.

2) Maid get sent back to home country..
buys new identity and comes back to SG
using a new name/passport number.
Back to square one.

If you decide to make a police report,
the maid would be arrested and subjected
to investigations. At the end of the investigations,
the police would provide their findings to the
state prosecutors for considerations and two
things can happen:.

1) If the offence is a prima-facie case
(eg; insufficient evidence, minimal loss or
restitutions have been made) then chances
are the maid would be given a warning.
However, she would then be repatriated and
barred from coming back to SG.

2) If it is a strong case (eg. availability of
evidence, high amount of loss incurred, criminal
acts were done over several occasions), there is
a high chance the maid could be prosecuted for
the said offence. After serving sentence, she would
then be repatriated and barred from coming to SG.

In both scenarios, If she does try to come back to SG
using another identity and applies for employment,
she would have committed an immigration offence and
is liable for prosecutions as the authorities have her records.

Although most employers are very kind and do not
wish to go through the hassle of making reports against
the maids, perhaps you should weigh your options before
making a decision.

Cheers!! :celebrate:

[ChiefKiasu]

buds hubs:

... If the offence is a prima-facie case

(eg; insufficient evidence, minimal loss or
restitutions have been made) ...

Ooh... do we now have a lawyer on board too? :love:

[buds hubs]

ChiefKiasu:

buds hubs:

... If the offence is a prima-facie case

(eg; insufficient evidence, minimal loss or
restitutions have been made) ...

Ooh... do we now have a lawyer on board too? :love:

Wah Chief, so fast got respond ah??

You can just regard me as your friendly KSP parent
cum cyberspace consultant..

[buds hubs]

Admummy:

.on the other hand, i feel not ethical to do so...my main concern is that it so happen that it's her fertile period during that period...i really dun want her to get preggy, so far i have already renewed her passport, work permit and even bought insurance for her...besides I need her back since i am expecting now....advise anyone pls?

Hi, I understand your dilemma and I also agree
that it is not ethical to so call \"force\" your maid to
consume the birth control pills. If she does make a
complaint, you may end up getting in trouble with
the authorities, depending on the type of allegations
levelled against you. :nunchuk:

Even if your maid agrees to take the pills voluntarily,
there is no guarantee that she would consume them
as prescribed during your absence or the 2 weeks
\"honeymoon\" period in Java.

Since you have already renewed her passport/ work
permit & insurance, I suggest that you have a talk with
your maid prior to her departure and \"STRESS\" to her
on the importance of her employment in SG. You could
probably remind her of the consequences if she does get
pregnant while working here and how it would affect her
family in Java if she gets sent back home.

If you have a good working relationship with your maid,
you may want to let her know of your plight and how you
value her services to you and your family thus far.

In my opinion, there is no fail-proof way of ensuring that
she doesn't get pregnant. It all boils down to mutual trust
and a weeeee bit of luck. . I suggest you pray hard
that \"IT\" doesnt happen... Hope this helps.

Cheers! :celebrate:

[tamarind]

Admummy:

My maid is gg back to Java for 2 wks leave before returning to Singapore to renew another 2 yrs contract with me. This is the first time she going back since aug 2007. I am really worried that she will get pregnant when she return. I ever consulted a GP during my maid's 6mthly checkup about my concern. GP advice was to prescribe birth control pills for her (2 mths only)...i am in dilemma now...on one hand, i feel like proceeding with it on the other hand, i feel not ethical to do so...my main concern is that it so happen that it's her fertile period during that period...i really dun want her to get preggy, so far i have already renewed her passport, work permit and even bought insurance for her...besides I need her back since i am expecting now....advise anyone pls?

Please remember that the maid is your employee, she is only working for you because you pay her salary every month. We should treat our maid in the same way as we are treated by our employers. Do our employers make us take birth control pills ?

The maid is an individual, a human being with her own rights. It is important to treat her with respect and dignity. She is not our relative working for us for free. We have no right to decide her future for her. The maid is also not a stupid village girl who will just take in whatever you do to her. She knows her rights, and she will feel resentful against you. Remember that even if the maid is not pregnant, she can always choose not to work for you and find a new employer. How are you going to stop her ? I have heard of maids who asked to change employer right after the baby was born, because the maid found it too tiring to take care of a baby.

Employing a maid is always a gamble. We never know what is going to happen. If she does get pregnant, you can immediately send her back, and you will not lose your security bond. Then get a new maid. I know that you will lose money if you change maid, but that is no choice. If you want to employ a maid, you must be prepared to lose money, unless you are very lucky. I have sent back a maid(she asked to leave) when I was pregnant with my second baby, and my first baby was less than 1 year old. So I know how tough it is. But there is no choice.

A maid can get pregnant even in Singapore, she can easily find a boyfriend here. Are we going to make all maids take birth control pills ?

My advise is, like I wrote above, treat the maid in the same way as we are treated by our employers. An employee comes and goes. We also cannot expect a maid to work for us forever.