Asian Mums are more SUPERIOR?

[2ppaamm]

E3:

toddles:

2ppaamm is amazing in many many ways. To even have 5 kids! And to homeschool! I love the wisdom you show in parenting. Shall pray that I can embody some of it. Thanks for sharing what you've learnt through your experience - it really helps to inspire me!

I second that. I am always very impressed with mothers who homeschools their kids. You are amazing!

Actually, I have no wisdom in parenting. I think other mothers here are so much more educated and well informed compared to me. I just make more mistakes, and therefore, I learn more... ha ha.

We had a thread we highlighted the boo-boos we made. I think no one could top mine. I forgot to register my oldest boy for primary school.... :!:

[jtoh]

2ppamm, your life story is so interesting and your philosophies on child raising always make for an insightful read. If you ever get a chance, you should write a book. Thanks for sharing.

[Chenonceau]

2ppaamm:

Chenonceau:

It's also a book that makes me wanna cry.


The strong emotions that every parent feels is there. There is pride, love and a lot of fear. Don't we all do what we do because we fear for our children?

Maybe we do it wrong, but we do our best to equip them for an uncertain world in the best way we know how... which for many of us... PhD notwithstanding is at worst a long journey of lostness, and at best a half-solved mystery.

Chenonceau, how did you get to buy Kindle books? They stopped letting me buy from last month as they decided to check the IP from mid Dec onwards. Now I thought my kids all have those white elephants around.

Actually, I don't homeschool my children. I just teach them what I can after work. I had worked mostly full-time all these while.

I did exactly what you did. I look at my own needs, and then I look at theirs. I tried to homeschool DD2 (#3) full-time when she was in P5. She was on the road to different countries competing so I thought we'd slow down on academics. Well, the result? Suffice to say that it is super hard to catch up in the Singapore system. I'm not sure I'd do it again, because I'm not sure if that damaged her self-esteem. She used to top and then in P6, she dropped to the bottom of the class, though it was a top class. It was a saving grace for her to get into the secondary school of her choice.

For my kids, it is the same - school is for play and friends and home is for learning. My kids spend so little time studying my friends and teachers reprimanded me time and again, but I really didn't care about them getting As or not. As long as they show progress, I move on. It is more fun to bake then to attend tuition, to sew a new curtain then to attend supplementary classes. To go for a spa with the girls then to find out if another girl is doing better than them in school.

Of course, it does not mean no work. I think my kids put in a lot more hard work than many others. Strange.... why did the Tiger mom think B's are not acceptable. Thinking ahead, since her Sophia is going to Yale soon, there is always a curve the cohort is on, and the whole class cannot get As. B's are norm, even our scholars get B's locally and overseas. If we only expect As, then when they don't, how will they accept that? Aren't we setting them up for failure by not accepting failure, since failure is inevitable in life? Sadly, that's how one of my friend's son committed suicide in London. He was on scholarship and he couldn't accept that he no longer can get straight As. His father is a Minister of State at that time.

Sometimes, I think, to fail and to come from a less privileged background is a blessing. We fail in parenting as well once in a while. But it really does not matter as long as we refuse to give up. It is not how hard we fall but how hard we bounce back that really counts. Don't you think?

Yes! Yes! This is exactly what I do. I always tell my kids that failure is not forever (as long as it is not an important exam). I actually told The Daughter, once you get into the uni of your choice and the course of your choice, you can just scrape through... no one looks at your results slip anyway. There are other things to learn in uni... and it ain't all about books.

[jtoh]

2ppaamm:

E3:

[quote=\"toddles\"]2ppaamm is amazing in many many ways. To even have 5 kids! And to homeschool! I love the wisdom you show in parenting. Shall pray that I can embody some of it. Thanks for sharing what you've learnt through your experience - it really helps to inspire me!

I second that. I am always very impressed with mothers who homeschools their kids. You are amazing!

Actually, I have no wisdom in parenting. I think other mothers here are so much more educated and well informed compared to me. I just make more mistakes, and therefore, I learn more... ha ha.

We had a thread we highlighted the boo-boos we made. I think no one could top mine. I forgot to register my oldest boy for primary school.... :!:[/quote]Oh dear! so what happened then?

[Chenonceau]

2ppaamm:

toddles:

And the best part is that, Lulu probably got her stubborn streak from her mum!


so what can you say when faced with your own genes right?

I'd say, \"Why are you so much like your father (or grandmother or aunty)?\"

When The Daughter was 3, I once said \"When YOU grow up, I hope that you will have a daughter JUST LIKE YOU! Then, you will know what I am going through!\"

Her response \"But Mom, Daddy said yesterday that I am JUST LIKE YOU!!\"

:stupid:

[Chenonceau]

2ppaamm:

Chenonceau, how did you get to buy Kindle books? They stopped letting me buy from last month as they decided to check the IP from mid Dec onwards. Now I thought my kids all have those white elephants around.


I tried to homeschool DD2 (#3) full-time when she was in P5. She was on the road to different countries competing so I thought we'd slow down on academics. Well, the result? Suffice to say that it is super hard to catch up in the Singapore system.

Mine didn't lose any ground at all and we squeezed in so much play time.

I have a place in USA and US bank accounts. I buy everything through those. Is that why?

[2ppaamm]

ctct61t:

That's why 99% successful kids have a excellent mother behind them...

But Chinese also has a saying 慈母多败儿, I guess we all have to learn when to be strict, to give in, to let go, to not let go at the right time. Each kid is different and there is such a fine balance. That's why being a mother is so difficult, we have to be Tiger moms sometimes, Western mom sometimes, and somewhere in between sometimes.

I agree 99% successful people have excellent mothers, and 99% have excellent wives. So we must also teach our girls to be excellent wives! :idea: oops, not sure if successful women have excellent husbands, though... maybe can do some research... Sorry, :offtopic:

[2ppaamm]

Chenonceau:

I have a place in USA and US bank accounts. I buy everything through those. Is that why?

Not sure, because I have those too. They allowed me to buy from anywhere until last Dec.... I tried buying in Thailand and it didn't work either. I'd try again later and see. I don't have a social security number anymore, maybe should re-apply.

[csc]

There is an interesting write up today in the Review & Forum section of the Straits Times. It's written by a westerner titled \"Tiger Mother? Amy Chua's a wimp.\"


According to the writer, it is more cognitively demanding to be spending time at a sleepover than practising a piece of music for four hours.

He felt that managing status rivalries, negotiating group dynamics , understand social norms, navigating the distinction between self and group - impose higher cognitive demands than any tutoring session at Yale university.

Another enlightening thought is he thinks that the school cafeteria is more intellectually demanding than the library. I like this .

Good food for thought and reflection!

[Chenonceau]

csc:

There is an interesting write up today in the Review & Forum section of the Straits Times. It's written by a westerner titled \"Tiger Mother? Amy Chua's a wimp.\"


According to the writer, it is more cognitively demanding to be spending time at a sleepover than practising a piece of music for four hours.

He felt that managing status rivalries, negotiating group dynamics , understand social norms, navigating the distinction between self and group - impose higher cognitive demands than any tutoring session at Yale university.

Another enlightening thought is he thinks that the school cafeteria is more intellectually demanding than the library. I like this .

Good food for thought and reflection!

Yup! I agree!