PM Lee urges more babies in Year of Rabbit

[Funz]

My take. Provide your children what you can within your means at whatever point.


If you can send them overseas, great, if not, local U, if not, they may have to take a loan themselves and see themselves through their U.

There is no hard & fast rule that says we parents have to pay for every single cent of their child’s tertiary education.

[3Boys]

buds:

kaitlynangelica:

...they don't believe in providing what I view as necessary if you want to have a child. They simply don't bother to save up or even plan for the child's uni education. Come on, isn't that the least that we should do as parents? Even Ang Pows collected during CNY are not given back to the children but recycled and given to others. For me and hubby, we just want to do our best to give the best to our dd so that she can have a comfortable life. This I feel, is the responsibiltiy of a parent and hence I can understand the concerns about $$$.

Very subjective in my opinion.

I've met many who DO live paycheck to paycheck.

Not that they are irresponsible.. Not that they don't care..
Just not enough to save.. But enough to feed, clothe, have
a roof over their heads, school their children well. Cannot judge.
Different people have different lifestyles, family income, family difficulties
ie. aging/ill elders.. special children.. many children.. single income.. etc...
Good if we have enough to cover the next 20 years, but if others don't... well..
they don't.

Completely agree. One does not need to over-plan.

[3Boys]

raynreg:

Would \"over\" concern about the child's future and finance be a hinderance to having more kids as well. There need to be a balance approach. No one can guarantee you will hold your job till your child reaches adult age. If you think so far ahead, then chances are there will be so many uncertainties that will sort of end up not having kids.


On planning for a child's uni...my personal opinion is that its a long shot. I dun even know if they can go to there. I'm sure if they are able to, then there will be ways to work around the fees issue. Otherwise, its like planning 20 years ahead :?

Again, completely agree. How do you know at 25 how things are going to be like at 45? If you try to lock everything down before you take a first step, you will never get anywhere.

[buds]

Funz:

My take. Provide your children what you can within your means at whatever point.


If you can send them overseas, great, if not, local U, if not, they may have to take a loan themselves and see themselves through their U.

There is no hard & fast rule that says we parents have to pay for every single cent of their child's tertiary education.

:goodpost:

Many of us also worked our way thru school, no?
We learn better knowing it came out from our own pockets? :lol:

[buds]

3Boys:

How do you know at 25 how things are going to be like at 45? If you try to lock everything down before you take a first step, you will never get anywhere.

:celebrate:

Everything in a nutshell.

[raynreg]

For me, no amount of government incentive can entice me to have children. It's a personal choice, really. Even if the government provides me with free childcare and healthcare, cash incentive, paid leave of whatever form.


The question is am I prepared to go through sleepless nights to tend to the baby's needs. Am I prepared to come home dead tired from work and still have to give them your attention. They deprive you of the \"me\" time. And when they enter primary school education, there are other \"stress\" buttons like exams. In short, having a child is a life long thing. We shouldn't based on what the government gives to decide whether to have a baby. Any incentive is just a \"sweetener\" and there is a limit as to how much the government is going / willing to do. Of course, if they can raise the baby for you from birth to adult hood, that's best. But then, you'll probably miss out the \"fun\" of parenting :lol: .

[Chenonceau]

One thing I can lock in for sure... If I have a baby this year, in 12 years time, I will have to face the @&$&@@ PSLE! :!: :stupid:


Reason enough to ligate eh?

But that is because I already have 2. If not, I would still have them. I knew an old couple when I was in uni who adamantly refused to have kids. Later, one of the 2 died... And the other fell ill. She was very lonely and unhappy and regretted never having had kids. But then again, having kids doesn't mean you won't be lonely right? Sigh!

[kaitlynangelica]

buds:

kaitlynangelica:

...they don't believe in providing what I view as necessary if you want to have a child. They simply don't bother to save up or even plan for the child's uni education. Come on, isn't that the least that we should do as parents? Even Ang Pows collected during CNY are not given back to the children but recycled and given to others. For me and hubby, we just want to do our best to give the best to our dd so that she can have a comfortable life. This I feel, is the responsibiltiy of a parent and hence I can understand the concerns about $$$.

Very subjective in my opinion.

I've met many who DO live paycheck to paycheck.

Not that they are irresponsible.. Not that they don't care..
Just not enough to save.. But enough to feed, clothe, have
a roof over their heads, school their children well. Cannot judge.
Different people have different lifestyles, family income, family difficulties
ie. aging/ill elders.. special children.. many children.. single income.. etc...
Good if we have enough to cover the next 20 years, but if others don't... well..
they don't.

Hi Buds,

Sorry I didn't mean to be insensitive.

But I think what I am trying to express is the ignorance that some people have about the rigours and demands of raising a child in society today and think its a walk in a park. Sure I agree that you can never plan too much in advance. And sure I know that a lot of times people can't help it.........for eg, if one has an aged parent to look after and cannot afford to put his kids through some enrichment classes as a result. What I am surprised at is some people I have met who assumed that things will simply fall into place. And such people I know have often come confiding in me later that they should have done this and that. For eg,

1) Hubby had a friend who's daughter entered primary 1 without being able to read at all. The child got stressed and naturally the parents got stressed. This same friend told dh that he thought that people who wanted to put their kids through enrichment classes were just being kiasu. In his opinion, such actions bordered on snobbery and was unnecessary to put his child through any classes just to help her adapt to primary school life better.

2) Another friend who's child is soon to enter p1 next year also cannot read. Most kids can read by this age but she simply refused to believe that such a skill was necessary in a child. Now, she is begining to feel the heat and getting a little more concerend.

3) I once met a taxi-driver with 3 kids. He was doing this part-time because he didn't make enough for the family from his full-time job. And his honest confession was that he didn't realise how expensive it was to raise a child. He was struggling to put his eldest child thru Poly. His second child was in sec school and needed tuition which he didn't anticipate. His youngest one in Kindy..........he was struggling to pay the monthly fee of $80. Somehow, he didn't see beyond pampers and milk to raise children.

I don't think I can afford a terribly expensive education for my child either. But what I think is important is to be aware of what is needed for the future and work best within our means to give whatever we can to our children in terms of guidance. IMO, by thinking that things will fall into place naturally, that is being irresponsible.

Sorry if I offended anyone here but this is just my honest view.

I work in the financial industry and I have had individuals come crying to me when they are out of job, and the people around them that suffer the most are the kids.

[tamarind]

kaitlynangelica,

I do agree with you that we should do our best to give our kids a comfortable life. It is not necessary to send to expensive kindergarten, or even drive a car, but at least all the basic needs and a decent education must be provided.

Kids did not ask to be born. If parents cannot provide the basic needs, then they should not have given birth in the first place.

Whenever I heard of families who are extremely poor, and yet have many kids to feed, my first thought is that they should not have given birth to so many kids. I have read about a poor mommy who said that she has 5 kids because she loves kids. Her kids all sleep on the floor, and only have a small pot of rice to eat everyday. If she loves kids, then she should not bring so many to this world to suffer. She should have gone for tubal ligation after she gave birth to the first baby.

[phankao]

tamarind:

If she loves kids, then she should not bring so many to this world to suffer. She should have gone for tubal ligation after she gave birth to the first baby.

Think of it this way. If God didn't want her to have all those kids, she wouldn't.