Club SAHM

[SAHM_TAN]

ANobleNerd:

I think it's not so much an issue as much as we don't make it an issue.

I can't help but think that families with SAHMs have a person to tie kids, husbands and parents to the family, just by being that catalyst in the family. The govt knows this, but refuse to acknowledge it because SAHM don't have the time nor inclination to self-organise and lobby for our rights.

It's not like AWARE would put up a paper on the need for SAHM to be recognised in terms of policy or inclusion in the Budget.

I'm not quite being tongue-in-cheek when I mentioned that even SAHMs have a voting right which the govt ought to remember before going to the polls.

So we must make noise noise, but we so busy and crazy with kids and family related stuff, we don't have time to make noise. It's up to us to organise

But I think gvt don't want too many mothers out of the workforce. Already we don't have enough babies, if not enough workers how will the hive survive :lol:

[SAHM_TAN]

Also dunno if I will get to vote. Every election year majority are walkovers. The last time I get to vote, the opposition party did not have good candidates, so voted for PAP

[ANobleNerd]

Firstly, I think the whole not-wanting-mothers-out-of-the-workforce-but-wanting-couples-to-have-babies is absolutely skewed.


I don't know about you, but many families with SAHMs tend to have at least 2 kids, if not more. I really don't know why, but I suspect it has to do with economies of scale and how SAHM becomes comfortable in their roles and are more amenable to having more kids. Encouraging mothers to stay-at-home at least until their children are in Secondary school will only encourage families to be bigger. Incentives for SAHM might just be the impetus for women to have more kids.

Secondly, a SAHM doesn't mean that they will always remain SAHM forever. For many educated SAHM, they can always return to the workforce when their kids are older or are more independent. All these talk about 'lifelong learning', 'workskill upgrading' etc are ways for SAHM to be relevant to the workplace if they so chose to return to the workforce. By segmenting and ignoring SAHMs, the govt is merely doing this group of the population a disservice.

The former idea of a SAHM as a low-educated spouse needs to be revisited. An educated SAHM is as much of value to society in the family as to its economy. When a family has a SAH parent to rely on, the working spouse finds it easier to concentrate on work, and the work-life balance of the entire family is better managed. With both parents at work, most families find it harder to juggle family needs, and it's usually the family needs that takes a back seat to the workplace - for afterall, that's where the income is derived.

Please excuse me for the very disjointed points I made above... it's been a long day at home/work, but I felt that I needed to put up those points.

[SAHM_TAN]

ANobleNerd:

Firstly, I think the whole not-wanting-mothers-out-of-the-workforce-but-wanting-couples-to-have-babies is absolutely skewed.


I don't know about you, but many families with SAHMs tend to have at least 2 kids, if not more. I really don't know why, but I suspect it has to do with economies of scale and how SAHM becomes comfortable in their roles and are more amenable to having more kids. Encouraging mothers to stay-at-home at least until their children are in Secondary school will only encourage families to be bigger. Incentives for SAHM might just be the impetus for women to have more kids.

Secondly, a SAHM doesn't mean that they will always remain SAHM forever. For many educated SAHM, they can always return to the workforce when their kids are older or are more independent. All these talk about 'lifelong learning', 'workskill upgrading' etc are ways for SAHM to be relevant to the workplace if they so chose to return to the workforce. By segmenting and ignoring SAHMs, the govt is merely doing this group of the population a disservice.

The former idea of a SAHM as a low-educated spouse needs to be revisited. An educated SAHM is as much of value to society in the family as to its economy. When a family has a SAH parent to rely on, the working spouse finds it easier to concentrate on work, and the work-life balance of the entire family is better managed. With both parents at work, most families find it harder to juggle family needs, and it's usually the family needs that takes a back seat to the workplace - for afterall, that's where the income is derived.

Please excuse me for the very disjointed points I made above... it's been a long day at home/work, but I felt that I needed to put up those points.

Good Points.

You should post them on Singapore Talking 2. Their next topic is on babies not enough http://entertainment.xin.msn.com/en/tv/channel-5/programmes/singapore-talking/article.aspx?cp-documentid=4657198

[Kabby]

ANobleNerd:

Secondly, a SAHM doesn't mean that they will always remain SAHM forever. For many educated SAHM, they can always return to the workforce when their kids are older or are more independent.

hear, hear

well said!

I fully intend to continue contributing to society. Now I am contributing greatly as a SAHM. When last kid is in Pr school, I might be back to contributing as a woman in the workforce. Along the way, I can also work part-time.

All these are contributions, no?

So many of us like this now, hopefully we can move towards some of the other societies who have developed a good scheme where women can easily return to work, work that is well-paid and meaningful.

[linden2000]

Think the European countries probably have higher birth rates because their culture is such that it is easier for SAHMs to return to the workforce sfter a break from work. Flexible working arrangements may also be more commonplace. Unfortunately here after a long break may find it difficult to return to the workforce or have to take a major pay cut to do so.


Sigh just venting. Currently SAHM and enjoying time with bb. But worried that if I take too long a break, I may not be able to go back to work. Ultimately still need to go back one day for financial reasons.

[SAHM_TAN]

Singapore also not kid friendly country. Toilet: not kid friendly, I use a carrier but buses not stroller friendly, neither are buildings, mrt station. There are not enough places for kids to explore. Cinemas are not kid friendly too, not every theatre has booster seats. Finally the present hdb flat size is too small to have more kids. Everyone will feel like in prison

[Kabby]

SAHM_TAN:

Singapore also not kid friendly country. Toilet: not kid friendly, I use a carrier but buses not stroller friendly, neither are buildings, mrt station. There are not enough places for kids to explore. Cinemas are not kid friendly too, not every theatre has booster seats. Finally the present hdb flat size is too small to have more kids. Everyone will feel like in prison

agree with you on hdb size. no room for our kids' bikes/ scooters/ wave board etc outdoor stuff. if stash in bomb shelter, how to take out easily? end up all in my kitchen. if put outside, scared the rain and sun will cause them to degrade quickly.

mrt stations so far i find them stroller friendly. i also use a carrier but for longer journeys, i bring both, so far still pleasant, except during rush hour where pp can be v rude.

but then such pp are everywhere in the world, during peak hour. in new york city, it is very kid-unfriendly too. Sg, as a country, is smaller than nyc, so it is also v crowded and impatient pp seem to dislike kids a lot. i get dirty looks from pp in nyc, as well as in Sg, when i have the stroller in a crowd.

so i feel Sg is not too bad in terms of certain aspects of child-friendliness.

[SAHM_TAN]

kabalevsky:

SAHM_TAN:

Singapore also not kid friendly country. Toilet: not kid friendly, I use a carrier but buses not stroller friendly, neither are buildings, mrt station. There are not enough places for kids to explore. Cinemas are not kid friendly too, not every theatre has booster seats. Finally the present hdb flat size is too small to have more kids. Everyone will feel like in prison

agree with you on hdb size. no room for our kids' bikes/ scooters/ wave board etc outdoor stuff. if stash in bomb shelter, how to take out easily? end up all in my kitchen. if put outside, scared the rain and sun will cause them to degrade quickly.

mrt stations so far i find them stroller friendly. i also use a carrier but for longer journeys, i bring both, so far still pleasant, except during rush hour where pp can be v rude.

but then such pp are everywhere in the world, during peak hour. in new york city, it is very kid-unfriendly too. Sg, as a country, is smaller than nyc, so it is also v crowded and impatient pp seem to dislike kids a lot. i get dirty looks from pp in nyc, as well as in Sg, when i have the stroller in a crowd.

so i feel Sg is not too bad in terms of certain aspects of child-friendliness.

Some mrt stations very strange only have lift on one side of the exit but not the other, so for those who bring stroller, they will need to risk on the escalator or in some cases even need to lug it up the stairs.

Some pple are nice, some just very impatient.

I have 3 kids, when I go to resturants, more and more I'm seeing pple giving me the dreaded look. The thing is my kids are not even making any noise sigh

[Kabby]

SAHM_TAN:

Some mrt stations very strange only have lift on one side of the exit but not the other, so for those who bring stroller, they will need to risk on the escalator or in some cases even need to lug it up the stairs.

Some pple are nice, some just very impatient.

I have 3 kids, when I go to resturants, more and more I'm seeing pple giving me the dreaded look. The thing is my kids are not even making any noise sigh

yup, have seen those MRT stations before. ya i don't like risking on the escalator too. sometimes no choice.

i remember following Dh to Boston before. that time only had the 2 boys, and they were 2 and 4 yrs old. Dh went for work, so I brought kids around in the day, just walk around, sightseeing.

One of the days, I brought the stroller out, intending to tour all the Ivy League Unis there. at the Harvard Uni that subway stop, they had a lift, so I assumed it was the norm, and brought boys to take the subway. we toured Harvard already, so ds2 was very tired and fell asleep once we got on the train. when we reached one of the stops for MIT, I got off with the boys, then realised to my horror there was no lift, no escalator, but this long, steep staircase all the way up!!!

ds2 was sleeping, ds1 was only 4yo. i was standing there, letting my options go through my mind quickly... i know i can't manage carrying the entire stroller plus sleeping ds2 and bags up the stairs. too steep and long.

so fortunate there were kind souls. this Indian guy who looks like a typical engineering student offered to carry my stroller and bags up the stairs.

so i carried ds2 up and held ds1 in the other hand. the guy struggled with the bulky stroller all the way up. ahhh, so thankful that day. i did wonder if i would meet such kind pp in Sg.

have those who will press lift button, open door, those are plentiful here, not bad.

abt restaurants, indeed, recently the papers said a list of eateries banned kids right?
i wouldn't go to those places even if i was without kids. the owner must be profit-oriented and not service-oriented.

yup, got 3 kids too, with a toddler who inevitably makes some kind of mess when we eat. i always clean her high chair with wet wipes and tidy the area on the table and floor just b4 we leave. not just to be nice to the cleaning staff or the next diner, but also in the hope that these restaurants won;t find children a pest. they can be a delight to have in the eatery!