Pei Hwa Presbyterian Primary

[Happy Mama]

IJJ:

I will be happier if she proves to be independent and diligent. There are other aspects of importance in life than just score alone.

IJJ, I am trying to learn to let go, just like you, coz ultimately she has to learn to be independent and diligent without being pushed... but somehow DD doesn't seem to be able to stick to schedules, without me nagging at her.

Do you have any tips to share?

[Mum1113]

Trapwithin:

Mum1113:

really ? am I qualified in the making ? Must kena more points from dw....ummm what is dw sorrie, rookie still in this thread :scratchhead:

You are Mum113 ..so I assume you are a mom. dw = dear wife.
So for you should be dh = dear husband.

aiyo.. :clubmyself: ....it makes so much sense now, thanks ! Trapwithin

[periwinklejoy]

IJJ:

Last year, I let go more at CA1 revision. I wanted to let my child has a hang of coping with her own studies independently. We worked on the timetable together but she studied on her own according to the timetable. I only monitor occassionally if she is meeting the schedule. She asked questions when she was unsure. Her results did slip alittle, but I thought it was ok. CA1 is only 10%, hence, slip by 10 marks is only 1% as overall marks. There is still chance to catch up. SA1, I tried the same method, but did sit down to revise her weaker areas with her, selectively. She did better. SA2, we did the same as SA1


IMO, some point of time, we, as parents need to let go. I prefer to let go not at once, but slowly, at our comfortable pace.

This year, although not entirely of my choice, I am almost non-existence for her CA1 preparation now. She plans her own timetable like we did before. I
am expecting some slips, but I will be happier if she proves to be independent and diligent. The only person on her back now is her piano teacher, who is kan-cheong for her exam just round the corner.

There are other aspects of importance in life than just score alone.

hi hi I agree with u. My aim since 2 years ago was to cultivate an independant learner. I'm gettg closer n
closer to reaching dat aim dot elder ds. But she likes to
hv me revise with her certain subjects though she dislikes doing assessmts. I tend to sway between lettg go n micro-managing. Wen results slip, my KS symptom surfaces n drillings starts. Wen I get tired or affected by d strains felt after coachg her on certain subjects (subjects that she doesn't like), I'll
step back n let her go on her own pace. I hope by next year she'll
b as I indept as yr darling - my aim!

[IJJ]

Happy Mama:

IJJ:

I will be happier if she proves to be independent and diligent. There are other aspects of importance in life than just score alone.

IJJ, I am trying to learn to let go, just like you, coz ultimately she has to learn to be independent and diligent without being pushed... but somehow DD doesn't seem to be able to stick to schedules, without me nagging at her.

Do you have any tips to share?

First, I must say, I am fortunate that she is obliging and always eager to learn. She is also blessed abundantly with 'onz' teachers.

Besides, these are the points I took to her :
1. Consistent work
Since young, I make it a point to emphasize that consistent work is more important than last min rush. Foundation i.e. understanding of concepts must be laid strong. She revises regularly/weekly for the topics covered. Come exam, the works will not be too bulky to manage. She has learnt that there is no shortcut to scoring. The only way is to read and practise, consistently.
2. Encourage
This girl of mine took to words of appreciation well. Her language of love. I praise her with advises to spur her on. There is always rooms for improvement.
3. Rewards
Since she is a bookworm, I reward her with trips to library and of course, her very much-desired books.
4. Firm and clear instructions
Instructions that she is 100% clear.
5. Set my expectations
I have expectations for her. Of course, it got to be challenging enough to spur her on, yet within reasonable limit. I ensure that she knows my expectations.
6. Balance
Last but not least, balanced between leisure and work. Family and school. So, she will not be overworked or overplayed.

I like the \"5 languages of love' theory alot. I use this theory to understand my respective child's language. This works effectively. Yes, I want to show my love yet I have to be careful that this 'love' will not be too burdened on her shoulders. She knows what I am doing is for her good. She may not entirely understand why, but she trusts my intentions.

As our children grow, it is also important to give them space (with trust). I explain to her (time to time) that I would like to give her more space and trust my judgement that she has the abilities to be more independent now. She works to prove me right. Steps by steps. Sometimes, baby steps.

[periwinklejoy]

IJJ:

Last year, I let go more at CA1 revision. I wanted to let my child has a hang of coping with her own studies independently. We worked on the timetable together but she studied on her own according to the timetable. I only monitor occassionally if she is meeting the schedule. She asked questions when she was unsure. Her results did slip alittle, but I thought it was ok. CA1 is only 10%, hence, slip by 10 marks is only 1% as overall marks. There is still chance to catch up. SA1, I tried the same method, but did sit down to revise her weaker areas with her, selectively. She did better. SA2, we did the same as SA1


IMO, some point of time, we, as parents need to let go. I prefer to let go not at once, but slowly, at our comfortable pace.

This year, although not entirely of my choice, I am almost non-existence for her CA1 preparation now. She plans her own timetable like we did before. I
am expecting some slips, but I will be happier if she proves to be independent and diligent. The only person on her back now is her piano teacher, who is kan-cheong for her exam just round the corner.

There are other aspects of importance in life than just score alone.

hi hi I agree with u. My aim since 2 years ago was to cultivate an independant learner. I'm gettg closer n
closer to reaching dat aim dot elder ds. But she likes to
hv me revise with her certain subjects though she dislikes doing assessmts. I tend to sway between lettg go n micro-managing. Wen results slip, my KS symptom surfaces n drillings starts. Wen I get tired or affected by d strains felt after coachg her on certain subjects (subjects that she doesn't like), I'll
step back n let her go on her own pace. I hope by next year she'll
b as I indept as yr darling - my aim!

[IJJ]

periwinklejoy:

I hope by next year she'll

b as I indept as yr darling - my aim!

You are doing great!!! Jia you jia you! Let's jia you together!

[Happy Mama]

IJJ:

Happy Mama:

[quote=\"IJJ\"] I will be happier if she proves to be independent and diligent. There are other aspects of importance in life than just score alone.

IJJ, I am trying to learn to let go, just like you, coz ultimately she has to learn to be independent and diligent without being pushed... but somehow DD doesn't seem to be able to stick to schedules, without me nagging at her.

Do you have any tips to share?

First, I must say, I am fortunate that she is obliging and always eager to learn. She is also blessed abundantly with 'onz' teachers.

Besides, these are the points I took to her :
1. Consistent work
Since young, I make it a point to emphasize that consistent work is more important than last min rush. Foundation i.e. understanding of concepts must be laid strong. She revises regularly/weekly for the topics covered. Come exam, the works will not be too bulky to manage. She has learnt that there is no shortcut to scoring. The only way is to read and practise, consistently.
2. Encourage
This girl of mine took to words of appreciation well. Her language of love. I praise her with advises to spur her on. There is always rooms for improvement.
3. Rewards
Since she is a bookworm, I reward her with trips to library and of course, her very much-desired books.
4. Firm and clear instructions
Instructions that she is 100% clear.
5. Set my expectations
I have expectations for her. Of course, it got to be challenging enough to spur her on, yet within reasonable limit. I ensure that she knows my expectations.
6. Balance
Last but not least, balanced between leisure and work. Family and school. So, she will not be overworked or overplayed.

I like the \"5 languages of love' theory alot. I use this theory to understand my respective child's language. This works effectively. Yes, I want to show my love yet I have to be careful that this 'love' will not be too burdened on her shoulders. She knows what I am doing is for her good. She may not entirely understand why, but she trusts my intentions.

As our children grow, it is also important to give them space (with trust). I explain to her (time to time) that I would like to give her more space and trust my judgement that she has the abilities to be more independent now. She works to prove me right. Steps by steps. Sometimes, baby steps.[/quote]Thanks for your precious advice, IJJ. Something I ought to learn from you...

May I ask, at what age did you start training your DD to be independent? Mine is P3 now. Not sure if it's too late, cos she's still quite childish and playful.

[Trapwithin]

IJJ:

Last year, I let go more at CA1 revision. I wanted to let my child has a hang of coping with her own studies independently. We worked on the timetable together but she studied on her own according to the timetable. I only monitor occassionally if she is meeting the schedule. She asked questions when she was unsure. Her results did slip alittle, but I thought it was ok. CA1 is only 10%, hence, slip by 10 marks is only 1% as overall marks. There is still chance to catch up. SA1, I tried the same method, but did sit down to revise her weaker areas with her, selectively. She did better. SA2, we did the same as SA1


IMO, some point of time, we, as parents need to let go. I prefer to let go not at once, but slowly, at our comfortable pace.

This year, although not entirely of my choice, I am almost non-existence for her CA1 preparation now. She plans her own timetable like we did before. I am expecting some slips, but I will be happier if she proves to be independent and diligent. The only person on her back now is her piano teacher, who is kan-cheong for her exam just round the corner.

There are other aspects of importance in life than just score alone.

Thank for sharing. Coincidentally I was thinking about this just 1 hour ago. I was telling my dw maybe we should let go a bit this CA1 and see how she go.

[IJJ]

Happy Mama:

May I ask, at what age did you start training your DD to be independent? Mine is P3 now. Not sure if it's too late, cos she's still quite childish and playful.

If you refer to academic part, I think should be P3, last year. You are definitely not late. Actually, a child being a child. Mine at 9 now, still has her playful self and actually hid books at places so that she could secretly read them. I also nag and 'bio' at her when I spot her doing things at wrong time. :lol: Which caring mom (or for some, caring dad) won't nag? :lol:

[Happy Mama]

IJJ:

Happy Mama:

May I ask, at what age did you start training your DD to be independent? Mine is P3 now. Not sure if it's too late, cos she's still quite childish and playful.

If you refer to academic part, I think should be P3, last year. You are definitely not late. Actually, a child being a child. Mine at 9 now, still has her playful self and actually hid books at places so that she could secretly read them. I also nag and 'bio' at her when I spot her doing things at wrong time. :lol: Which caring mom (or for some, caring dad) won't nag? :lol:

Your DD is so cute... She's playful in a good way though... :celebrate:

Yes, you are right. Which caring parent won't nag.. My Mum always says, if I don't care for you, I wouldn't be nagging... I nag because I care\" blah blah blah....

Ok I must slowly learn to \"let go\" from now.. Also quite scared to push her too much least she breaks down, especially with so many children attempting suicide nowadays.

DD read about yesterday's Straits Times article and told me about it and I had to spend some time trying to counsel her and let her know what the guy did was not correct and also let her know that at any point of time if she is feeling any stress or pressure, she must confide in me. I also told her that no matter what happens, she will always have our love and support. Thank goodness, she understands and is very positive about life and studies....