Child who is not independent

[Carrotree]

my personal experience? Bf babies more clingy, yes, they feel more secure, but they are SO secure to rest in your arms and yes *give u that puppy dog* look.


i hv 2 kiddos, DS who is in this subject and DD who self-wean at 1.5 yrs... my DS more sticky to me, DD to her daddy... but then again, it could be the opposites attract thingy at work..

[tankee]

thebusybee:

share the same thinking as mincy, the day will come when they get independent and avoid going out with us. I'm always 'guilty' of spoiling my son too, while the dad wants him to be less dependent on adults, especially clinging on to me. He always told me not to attend to him and let him cry instead......... but i dun have the heart.


Do most dads afraid that son got too sticky to mum and become mama's boy?

i agree with your hubby. I'm sure it hurts him too when your boy cries.

For the sake of our children, sometimes we have to be firm and hide our pains ...

[tankee]

concern2:

I always wonder about the term 'mummy's boy'. I think my son's quite a mummy's boy cos we dote on each other. So as a mommy, I don't mind if my son's a mummy's boy. :love: But certainly not if I am the wife of a mummy's boy!!!

I'm sure you do but have you consider what's best for him?

what if he really grows up a mummy's boy and cant maintain any steady relationship because of that, like you said, no one wants to be a wife of a mummy's boy.

[Carrotree]

tonypang:

concern2:

I always wonder about the term 'mummy's boy'. I think my son's quite a mummy's boy cos we dote on each other. So as a mommy, I don't mind if my son's a mummy's boy. :love: But certainly not if I am the wife of a mummy's boy!!!

I'm sure you do but have you consider what's best for him?

what if he really grows up a mummy's boy and cant maintain any steady relationship because of that, like you said, no one wants to be a wife of a mummy's boy.

hi all, i remembered seeing this on youtube few months back, am very shocked :!: at how extreme these mummy's boys are! watch and be amazed. I feel so sorry for the wives/girlfriends of those mummy's boys featured and indeed it even seems unhealthy to a certain extent on how \"obsessed\" these grown-up men and to their mums... watch and you will know what I mean...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PsBH30b41es

[mintcc]

wow! :!: that was so extreme… I think the mumand the man have issues…it’s one thing for mum and son to dote on each other but getting into the son’s relationship like that when he is 26 years old …she needs to get a life…

[concern2]

Thanks for your concern, Tankee, not to worry, that comment was just something to laugh about. Like Carrotree, my husband and I used to be worried about our son’s ‘clinginess’ too, although he’d also been attending childcare since he was 3 years old. And that was one of the main reasons why we sent him to full-day childcare. But he’s ‘matured’ quite a fair bit since, and I’ve read that being a Capricorn, he’s not a natural social animal anyway. I suppose his shyness and reserved nature could be the cause of it.


But about the you tube video!!! Now that’s something extreme!!! I don’t think I’ll be that extreme (well at least my values are different from his mom’s!) I agree with mincy - the mummy’s boy’s mummy needs to get a life.

[jedamum]

concern2:

I suppose his shyness and reserved nature could be the cause of it.

concern2,
sometimes clingyness is more due to lack of self confidence rather than shyness.
personally i find http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/content/discipline-teaching book very useful. they had useful tips that i used which had indeed show results in the way my ds1 respond to me.
my ds1 was clingy when he is young. now at P1, he is a very efficient class monitor. he still holds onto my hands when we go shopping and insist that i accompany him until he falls asleep at night. but he has no problem if i instruct him to buy food for me (within distance) and pay for stuff at the counter etc. he has no problem approaching teachers in school and such. it's a matter of getting over the initial hurdle and to get over it, the sense of confidence have to be there to overcome the so-call shyness.
jmho.

[concern2]

[quote]he still holds onto my hands when we go shopping and insist that i accompany him until he falls asleep at night. [/quote]
That sounds utterly familiar...
Thanks for the tip Jedamum - about the book too. And a good summary for time-poor moms like me!