PCF/PAP Kindergartens
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Just to share my thoughts after reading all these. My friend’s autistic boy has just joined a PCF and settled in nicely. In his class, a normal kid is still acting up, disrupting the class and thus taking away the teachers’ time from other children. Sounds familiar to sophie80’s concerns? Except this is the reverse situation. My questions:
1) Should the other parents, including my friend, pressurize the principal to have this disruptive but normal kid remove?
2) If the answer is no, why are only children with special needs always under undue scrutiny and pressure such that every little undesirable behaviour puts them at risk to be asked to leave? Why is the focus only on special needs children? Why are normal children’s disruptive behaviour tolerated but not the one with special needs? We should start to ask ourselves what is our true concern - the behaviour or the label?
It also brings me to wonder what would have happened to my daughter who is normal but was crying for months when she first joined a playgroup. Her excessive crying was to the point of my deep embarrassment and apology (my heartache aside) but I was grateful that no one minded enough to make us leave the school. Instead, the parents were very understanding and supportive, assuring me that she would settle in soon (which she never really did till 6 months later).
Now reading the comments from parents like sophie80 and the like, I wonder if we would still have received the same understanding if she had been autistic or had some special needs. If the answer is no, it will be really disturbing and perhaps time for us to search our conscience.
You may also want to ask yourselves what kind of environment you want to expose your children to while they are young and impressionable. For me, a principal who is willing to take in a child with special needs despite the challenges (including undue pressure from some disapproving parents) speaks volume about the kind of values she upholds. Should we support what she’s doing or make her life difficult?
At the end of the day, we as parents have the ability to tell what’s right from wrong and the control to teach our children appropriately. The issue is not so much about the special needs child anymore, but what kind of upbringing we want to expose our own children to. -
sophie80:
自闭症儿童 = Autistic in English. Autism/Autistic has appeared few times in others' response so please do not conveniently say you do not know how to say it in English. Please make an effort to google & know more about autism. It is really not so scary after learning more about the condition.By saying special kids i mean 自闭症儿童 as i dont know how to say it in english. Any special kids other than 自闭症儿童 is not within the scope of our discussion. Sorry abt the confusion.
Thanks,
BTW, my special needs child is Autistic. He doesn't display \"BAD\" behavior that often except maybe when he melts down. When he melts-down, it is always due to some \"anxiety attack\" or \"there is a change in daily structure that he cannot accept\". Like I said in my earlier post, he displays good manners when he readily greets the seniors and this is an exemplary conduct (lacking in many normal children; including my (other; normal) son).
Since you only want to talk about Autism, generally, Autistic kids do not \"attack\" people, unless
1. they have underlying ADHD condition manifesting within ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) ; &/or
2. they have been provoked
My son attends a special school. I have seen all the rest of the Autistic kids in his school and none are as disruptive as you had described. Yes they cry (meltdown) but they don't \"attack\" one another. Due to their lack of \"spatial awareness\", they may push & shove & they may even lean against your body but hey, normal kids push & shove too! Normal kids may grow up slashing one another too hence normal kids \"attack\" too! I guess my point is \"it takes all sorts of people to make up this world\".
Although I disagree with your views, I respect that we are entitled our own views. I just feel that your views stem from the lack of understanding of Autism to begin with. At this point, if I could be granted my wish, I implore you to read up more about the condition so you can gain a better understanding of the condition & can assist to explain to your daughter what the condition is about. It is really not that scary.
And of course, thanks for raising this, for it reminds us, the parents of Autistic children & also the relevant authority, that we have a lot of work to do to help \"educate\" members of the public who are clueless about Autism & who would rather choose to remain clueless; there's certainly a need to help generate greater awareness amongst the clueless.
May the Force be with us. Bless us; Bless the people.
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\"The colours of the rainbow so pretty in the sky...\"
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=204418249575774&oid=307944595086&comments -
Hi all,
Sophie80 and d rest, if PCF is willing to open branches for special needs all over Singapore, I will be the first to jump for joy.
Maybe me and other parents are too "selfish" that we never ever bother to look for a special needs class for our kids? Maybe we are too "selfish" to even bother to BEG the government to do something - lesser waiting time to subsidised classes or cheaper classes?
No matter where u run, even to the end of the world, you will meet at least one special need person.
I have 3 kids and the youngest has autism. So before I experienced parenting an autistic child, I have dealt with "normal" kids. And I have never ever thought of "running" away or thought of teaching my kids to "stay" away from the "not-normal" people.
Sophie80, you want to stop the discussion, but the problem remains. And you are not the only one who has this mindset. As a mother, I wished I can shelter my kid from the likes of you. I want to run and bring him with me. I want to beg all Singaporeans to change their selfish mindsets.
But all these are impossible. Maybe we, parents of the autistics, should just accept the fact that our children are "bad".
I wonder if we can publish this discussion to the press. Any idea anyone? -
I am also a mother of a 4yo asd boy, he is not in those mainstream kindergartens at this moment, I am grateful that my this special boy has taught me and my kids how to love and be tolerate of other kids ...... this is something that I will never learn if I just have NT kids
btw Well Done Power point ! Love It ! -
well said, WaWa and ManjaNurse.
only those who have experienced raising a special needs child will know how special they actually are.
remember that every child is God’s gift and a blessing to the family that receives them, whether they are NORMAL or SPECIAL.
PEACE! -
When people believe that there are only 2 possible solutions to any problem, or 2 possible views to any argument, there can be no constructive discussions that can satisfactorily solve the issues. Most people ignore the possibility of the 3rd viewpoint, which is to get out of the box and so that we can look at the problem from both sides of the argument in order to remain rational and look for ways of addressing concerns of both both sides.
It is unfair for anyone to label parents as being discriminatory to special needs children by virtue of their concerns over the safety of their own children. Nor is it right for anyone to discriminate against special needs children and deny them the opportunity to interact with other children. After all, both sides share the same fundamental concern over the welfare of their children.
The posts that explain the behavior of special needs children are very informational and help to educate other parents. I am thankful for all those that took the time to post such information. And if the purpose is to educate other parents, we must also accept that education should not be measured by how it is able to change opinions, but whether the audience has actually listened and internalized your words. I would be happy if people actually read and understood what I write. I don’t hope for my words to actually change people’s lives.
I thought jkcy has brought out an excellent point. The question should really be on whether parents should tolerate a child that often exhibits poor behavior in class, regardless of whether the child is special-needs or not. In my humble opinion, it all depends on the ability of the institution to manage the situation. Institutions or educators who are incapable of handling such children will have to take action to protect other children, while those who can find ways to effectively manage the child in their learning environment should be lauded and respected for their competency, because the diversity of members of the class will bring rich learning opportunities for our children who will be facing a complex and globalized world in the future. It is no longer the "strongest will survive". It is the one who is able to understand how to build and motivate networks of people with different cultures, skills and talents and exploit diversity that will ultimately win the race. -
Wow chief,
Nothing to say but this :udaman: -
smurf:
I second that! Been following the discussion and reading the powerpoint slides and different viewpoints, but still thinking and sitting on them, wondering if should come out and say something too.Wow chief,
Nothing to say but this :udaman:
But, wow! Thanks, chief!
:udaman: -
ChiefKiasu:
It is no longer the \"strongest will survive\". It is the one who is able to understand how to build and motivate networks of people with different cultures, skills and talents and exploit diversity that will ultimately win the race.
:goodpost:
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