Time Management - How do u parents deal with it?

[Angelina]

HI all thanks so much for all ur responses!

Well I did try to get books for my daughter to do at MIL’s place, however my MIL is too busy with 2 other nieces. And mind u, they are very disturbing and too young to reason with. Tat is another problem other than my daughter’s studies. My daughter is constantly frustrated with the 2 kids, cos they are too young to understand and bother her too much. They follow her and snatch her things. She will not retaliate or snatch back, but she will get angry and cry. Which makes me worried too. Give me 5 mins with the 2 kids and I will also go crazy. Sometimes they will pull her hair or hit her too. I do scold them whenever I am there, except when their parents are around of cos. But the more they know u dun wan them to do something, the more they do it! Aaarrggghhhh!!! My MIL will try to scold them too, but one can tell that she dotes on them too. So the 2 kids kind of know they hv a backup.
I did not put her in full day childcare partly cos of the costs, as well as my MIL wants her to be home to see her.
Anyway, I hv kind of found a soln to her studies. I will prob put her at kumon to hv classes twice a wk in the evening, while I will coach her during the wkends, and maybe 1 or 2 days I will make time to coach her in the wkdays. It is tiring for me, cos I am pretty busy at work too, when I am at home I also hv to log in to continue my work. I know many of u parents are so busy too, especially with 2 or 3 kids. So I can’t complain, I hv to strive on!
Its good some of ur husbands chip in too. Mine jus sticks his buttocks to the sofa or chair for TV or computer. I thk in my next life I prefer to be a man ha ha! I did lose it with him at times and he will get scared and change for a few days. But after tat he will revert back to the same ways. Wat to do?
I worry abt everything for the family, go holiday also I plan, and yet I hv to worry abt my work. My mind and body are just so tired.

[sashimi]

schellen:

My DH and I work full-time. We both end at 6 so my mom helps to pick up my DD (7 yo) from After School Care and give her dinner. We meet my mom at the MRT station at 7pm and on the way home, we may run errands so we may get home close to 8pm. When we get home, DD knows what she has to do: shower, pack bag, do homework (if any), revise for spelling/tingxie (a day before), do music theory homework and practise playing the piano.

Meanwhile, DH quickly feeds his pet fishes and showers so that he can supervise/help DD. He eats dinner after 9pm sometimes. I rush through my chores, eat my dinner quickly (I cannot eat late or else I will get gastric/headache, etc.) and shower. Then, I take over from/join DH. By then, it is usually about 9pm.
DD still needs to be \"hurried\" since she loves to dally. We remind her that she will lose her playtime or have a shorter storytime if she \"wastes\" too much time. Usually, she \"makes it\" and requests for PC/TV/game time by herself or with us. This can take 10-45 minutes, depending on how much time is left and whether the following day is a school day.
Before bedtime, we take turns to read to her. After that, DH has his PC time (and sometimes, dinner time!) while I deal with the rest of my chores like laundry. I leave major chores like ironing and scrubbing to the weekends.

As usual, my DW makes it look like my job is very senang.

I will only add one thing, DW is the more schedule-rigid one, who'll \"whip\" DD to get things done, regardless.

I told her before that I am the balancer. You see, I refuse to allow a child to become the unfortunate victim of adult kanchiongness and rush-to-do-everything. What DW calls dallying is often me trying to ensure DD enjoys a little bit of Life everyday, that I at least try to speak as many number of words to her as I do to my colleagues. (Don't you ever wonder how cruel society is today that you say more to your colleagues than your own family in a day?)

Sure there are many times when DD dallies too long, but by and large, I like to give her the occasional break. Eg. last night, she did everything well, played piano well, so I rewarded her with an hour of TV, which we all watched together. I told her that it'll be too late to read bedtime stories, and indeed it was 10.50pm when she went to bed. Nevertheless, since she behaved, I rewarded her with a short read.

What is time management, really? It's ensuring, of the precious 180+/- minutes you spend with your child every night, even if a major percentage is spent doing the routine and necessary, there must be at least a point, no matter how long or short, where you share a laugh, a smile, or a hug. When DD goes to bed in peace, my job is done.

[schellen]

sashimi:

Eg. last night, she did everything well, played piano well, so I rewarded her with an hour of TV, which we all watched together. I told her that it'll be too late to read bedtime stories, and indeed it was 10.50pm when she went to bed. Nevertheless, since she behaved, I rewarded her with a short read.

You know why last night she had time for TV? Cos she finished her \"tasks\" by the time you came home. I didn't even had to rush her and she chatted idly with me as I did the laundry. She even had time to feed your fish and willingly packed her bag before going to shower. :politebleah:

[ManyHatsLady]

Angelina:

HI all thanks so much for all ur responses!

Well I did try to get books for my daughter to do at MIL’s place, however my MIL is too busy with 2 other nieces. .....
I worry abt everything for the family, go holiday also I plan, and yet I hv to worry abt my work. My mind and body are just so tired.

Hi Anglina,
I know all the problems... me a working mom too, got a 6 yr o daughter - MIL takes care of her while I work.

A few suggestions:

1. send your child to a good Montessori school. The school is more learning-centred and teaches independence. It teaches phonics which helps child to read and spell at young age. My daughter has been attending Montessori since 4 yrs old and I don't have to spend time to do homework with her. And the school really prepares children for P1. :lol:

2. give her some homework to do at home, and sought your MIL's help to \"supervise\" her to do the homework at stipulated time. Start small. When she was 4, I started giving her tingxie everyday, abt 5 words(simple words, each to repeat writing 3 times) - she has to finish writing it before going to school in the morning, and she has to do a fresh same one in the afternoon before I reach home. Somehow or rather, now she already has the habbit, my MIL don't even have to remind her, very \"automatic\". Increase the load gradually, inculcating a good habit is more important, in my view.

Hope this helps.

[apple79]

ManyHatslady,


at what age do u send your girl to centre? half day?

[ManyHatsLady]

apple79:

ManyHatslady,


at what age do u send your girl to centre? half day?

3+, 3 hrs/day

tried many CC earlier then. Never regretted sending her to Montessori after that.

[apple79]

Thanks.


My girl is only coming 1.5 yrs but I already thinking of doing so…(also taken care by MIL)

[ManyHatsLady]

apple79:

Thanks.


My girl is only coming 1.5 yrs but I already thinking of doing so........(also taken care by MIL)

don't think Montessori takes in children at such young age, can call the center to ask.

[buds]

Yes, Montessori childcare takes in children 18mths and above, apple79.

In childcare it’s either termed as either Pre-N, N1 or Playgroup. There
are also Montessori enrichment centres that run weekly Parent & Child
programmes, so new parents can have a basic idea of how the Montessori
Methodology and curriculum encompasses a child’s holistic development,
before signing up for a daily programme.

[apple79]

yah thanks all. I been looking around for quite sometimes and still unable to come to a decision. indecisive mummy