All About Full-Time Maids

[kola]

Hi…. I am in a dilemma, I got a problem with my indo maid of 2 mths.

She is a transfer maid, we get her urgently to look after my elderly FIL before he discharged from hosiptal.
She worked in SIN with previous employer for 1 yr, before being sent back to agent. Currently she is not serving any loan with us.

I would consider her as a hardworking maid, she took good care of my FIL, sometime she handle my preschooler girl as well. Both hubby and I are working fulltime.

I started to realize I have this big problem when I caught her seeing a man at the back alley of our house yesterday night at around 10.30pm.
We went out in the evening, when came home, nobody open the door, even when my FIL called out to her, there is no response. We got into the house ourselves and to my dismay, I saw the back gate is open. When she realize we are back, she quickly get into the house and the man quickly walk away in the opposite direction.
When I ask her "What are you doing there?" She said "Talking to a friend.", I asked "boy friend?", she replied "just friend".
We just leave the case open for the night, we have not question her, as hubby and I have not decided / don’t know what to do.
At 11.00pm, I found that she did not sleep and hide in the kitchen talking on the phone…probably to the man…"sign"

Last week, she suddently ask for a day off on this Sunday without telling why. We rejected her, as she is still serving the 2 yr contract without off day. Now I know why she is taking leave.
I also caught her talking on her handphone (I don’t even know she own a handphone) one evening, hiding in my gal’s room, she told me she called her sister in indo. Now I am suspecting she was talking to this man.

I am afraid she might get pregnant or invite trouble back home (since the man know where she stay - this make me very uncomfortable)
We will give her a strong warning tonite, and intended to give her one more chance. If we caught her again, sorry… we will have to sent her back to agent.

- Should I stop her from seeing and talking to this man altogether? How can it be done?
- Should I let her continue to talk on phone with this man, but forbit her seeing him?
- Any other suggestion?

Hope I can have some good advice out here… Thanks in advance and sorry for the long post.

[Littlefly]

Tks marilyn_28 for sharing.


Just had a fight w hb yday. Usually I sealed the house keys in an envelope before leaving her alone in the house so if the seal is broken - i will question the need for it. Our house is fully stock up with food so she gets to cook her own lunch. He thinks I am paranoid and just wants to pass the house keys to maid so she has free access without any surveilliance (of coz, camera not installed yet). I thought it it better safe than sorry as our maid is still new (2 months). Why can't the man gets it ? :rant:

Micollh - stay cool and calm. vent it here ?

[3Boys]

Yes, you cannot let her continue this surreptitious behaviour. It puts your home at risk, who knows what this guy is up to. I don’t think you can police her 100%, but you can certainly tell her that if you catch her on the phone, you want to speak to the other person on the line to verify.

[BeContented]

3Boys:

Yes, you cannot let her continue this surreptitious behaviour. It puts your home at risk, who knows what this guy is up to. I don't think you can police her 100%, but you can certainly tell her that if you catch her on the phone, you want to speak to the other person on the line to verify.

You mentioned you have a preschooler DD. I would think it's too dangerous to keep this maid considering that she's pretty new with you and yet have the audacity to leave the house to meet the guy at 10.30pm. There is no way you can stop her from seeing the guy. Dun put your family at risk (may sound too serious, but that man can come into the house while you and hubby at work).

[SMH FOREST]

Littlefly:

Tks marilyn_28 for sharing.


Just had a fight w hb yday. Usually I sealed the house keys in an envelope before leaving her alone in the house so if the seal is broken - i will question the need for it. Our house is fully stock up with food so she gets to cook her own lunch. He thinks I am paranoid and just wants to pass the house keys to maid so she has free access without any surveilliance (of coz, camera not installed yet). I thought it it better safe than sorry as our maid is still new (2 months). Why can't the man gets it ? :rant:

Micollh - stay cool and calm. vent it here ?

Cool down Littlefly!
I do agree with how you handled it... cos' 2 mths is really too short a time to leave yr maid with just the key... so your maid is also home alone??

My new maid has gotten her passport!! :dancing:

btw... my maid agent asked that I leave my new maid at the agency so they can do a 1 week orientation/training with her on sg culture and standards... but i am expected to pay from the moment she arrive... is this normal?? :? :? i recall that for my current maid, i only paid when pass the entry test etc and medical... and was sent to my plc soon after.... haiyo... the sceptic in me wonders if agency wants my helper to \"help\" around in agency for a week!!?!?!?!? :scratchhead:

And I spoke too fast... said my current maid very onz right?? Yday night and today show pattern again!! This morn my son was crying for milk as he woke up... i was tending to him n my maid is supposed to make his milk... after a while... i walked out to the kitchen... and saw her... standing on 1 leg.. havent put in milk powder into the bottle... and slowly... s-l-o-w-l-y opening the chinese medication that my son is supposed to take.. OMG!! even open the tube can purposely do SO SLOW!? and this is while he is still crying and fussing!! :mad: :stupid: :rant:

ARGGGHHH... :mad: :mad: :mad:

[Funx3]

SMH FOREST:

... and saw her... standing on 1 leg.. havent put in milk powder into the bottle... and slowly... s-l-o-w-l-y opening the chinese medication that my son is supposed to take.. OMG!! even open the tube can purposely do SO SLOW!? and this is while he is still crying and fussing!!

Wah Like that Also Can?!
Definite-ly U have make the RIGHT Move to Terminate your Maid!
Well Hope Your New Maid is IONS Better than this ONE!

[SMH FOREST]

Funx3:

SMH FOREST:

... and saw her... standing on 1 leg.. havent put in milk powder into the bottle... and slowly... s-l-o-w-l-y opening the chinese medication that my son is supposed to take.. OMG!! even open the tube can purposely do SO SLOW!? and this is while he is still crying and fussing!!

Wah Like that Also Can?!
Definite-ly U have make the RIGHT Move to Terminate your Maid!
Well Hope Your New Maid is IONS Better than this ONE!

YAH!! I also hope so!!

[jtoh]

I suspect your maid was sent back to the agent for inappropriate behavior so she’s unlikely to change her ways. She’ll continue to see the man, call him, chat with him etc regardless of what you say. Worse, she might even invite him into your house when no one’s home. Best to send her back.

[Mum1113]

Don’t bring in uninvited problems, this is too much of a risks to your household. Be empathetic and you may bring misery and unnecessary worries on your part when no other adults are around during daytime to ‘watch’ over the helper.

[kola]

Hi 3Boys,

Thank you for your response. That is a good idea, instead of just believing in what she said, I can verify it myself through the phone.

Hi cwc, jtoh, Mum1113,
Thank you for your response. This is one of our main concern, we have an elderly and a preschooler DD at home… I feel so unsecure.
But after discussion with hubby, we think that we would give her 1 last chance, if she cannot live up to our standard, we will have no choice but to ask for a replacement.
I might have to deploy another adult to my home for the time being to 'watch' over the helper.


I had sent her back to agent for counseling yesterday,
- Agent asked her to pass her HP to us to throw (I did not throw, just keep it in order to return back to her when she is going home)
- Agent asked her not to see the man again, if he appears at doorstep, ignores him (hopefully she can do that)
- Bar her from wheeling my FIL out for 2 weeks. No going out without permission.

We will have to pray hard, hope she “wakes up” after the counseling.
This is the only way we can do for her… We can only give her 1 last chance, if she cannot live up to it, we will have no choice but to ask for a replacement.