If you love me.. / You do not love me..
-
stsy_26:
No, we don't, he is in full day ccc and picked up lots of things there (mostly bad)Children usually imitate what they see or hear from adults ard them. I know first hand cos my older gal sounds EXACTLY like me when talking / \"scolding\" her younger sis, so WE hv to be really careful in our choice of words and what we say to our kids.
Do you or ur hubs or any other adult your child is with during the day use the word \"love\" in relation to his behaviour? For eg, i've heard of grandparents say to their grandkids that if they misbehave, their mummy won't love them anymore. In such situations, the kid then associates naughty behaviour with the word 'love' without really understanding what it means. So when they get scolded or punished or rejected, they just verbalise it with the phrase they associate punishment with - 'You dun love me\".
The above is just me personal opinion. I advocate using only positive words when speaking to kids. And oso being very careful with choice of words cos kids absorb wat we say like a sponge, and will use it against u one day!! Whether they fully understand what they are saying! Sometimes it's really funny when u hear them speak like u, and at other times, it's quite a slap in the face when u realise how u really sound when talking \"down\" to them!
Saying that, it becomes a REAL challange when u're so mad at them n yelling them at full force, and going thru ur whole mental dictionary of \"positive-only\" scolding words to use! Hahahahah!!!
-
VisualTextEducation:
Thank you.According to Piaget Theory of cognitive development, your child belongs to the pre-operational stage of the symbolic function substage. Which means your child is unable to distinguish between their own perspective and that of another person's. Children at that age tend to pick their own view of what they see rather than the actual view shown to others. This is an experiment performed by Piaget and Barbel Inhelder. Primitive reasoning will only start from age 4 onwards depending on your child. So, do not worry too much yah... Your child will only start to comprehend some things at a later age. So do bear with it because logical reasoning do not go with them at the moment...
I hope that helps.....
-
Jennifer:
Borrow the dvd \"Charlie and the Choco fty\" and watch together with your child. Quite a few msg of love in this story. How different parenting styles affect the child.
Thank you Jennifer, will try to find it. Btw, may I know where you borrowed this pls. -
Ah yes… CCC… I put my DD1 in 1/2 day child care for abt a yr when she was 3 cos DD2 was born. Just half a day there and it un-did all the good things i taught her in 3 yrs!! Came back wiping nose and mouth on her clothes instead of using tissue. And yes, uses language that wld make us adults blush!! Everyday when she comes back, i gotta undo all the damage done during the first half of the day!
But now that we know the influence is from there, we can breathe easier cos it’s just as jessicawongcs says, it’s monkey see monkey do. So dun take it personally! Encourage him to verbalise his feelings in proper words like "I dun like being punished" or "I’m upset u din get me that toy" -
stsy_26:
Well say! I notice so people associate \"love\" to get children to do or not to do things... Its very bad for the children...Children usually imitate what they see or hear from adults ard them. I know first hand cos my older gal sounds EXACTLY like me when talking / \"scolding\" her younger sis, so WE hv to be really careful in our choice of words and what we say to our kids.
Do you or ur hubs or any other adult your child is with during the day use the word \"love\" in relation to his behaviour? For eg, i've heard of grandparents say to their grandkids that if they misbehave, their mummy won't love them anymore. In such situations, the kid then associates naughty behaviour with the word 'love' without really understanding what it means. So when they get scolded or punished or rejected, they just verbalise it with the phrase they associate punishment with - 'You dun love me\".
The above is just me personal opinion. I advocate using only positive words when speaking to kids. And oso being very careful with choice of words cos kids absorb wat we say like a sponge, and will use it against u one day!! Whether they fully understand what they are saying! Sometimes it's really funny when u hear them speak like u, and at other times, it's quite a slap in the face when u realise how u really sound when talking \"down\" to them!
Saying that, it becomes a REAL challange when u're so mad at them n yelling them at full force, and going thru ur whole mental dictionary of \"positive-only\" scolding words to use! Hahahahah!!!
Emotional blackmail and kids grow up associating acknowledgement with being or not being love... -
ppnqq:
Video Ezi/King.Jennifer:
Borrow the dvd \"Charlie and the Choco fty\" and watch together with your child. Quite a few msg of love in this story. How different parenting styles affect the child.
Thank you Jennifer, will try to find it. Btw, may I know where you borrowed this pls.
Or you can borrow the book from the library. -
jessicawongcs:
My kid no need to go to school to pick up all the bad things. Go supermarket, see child scream, my child would follow. Go to library see child calling the mother, my child would started to call \"mommy mommy mommmmy\" too... I told my child, mommy is here, why want to copy what others do.ppnqq:
No, we don't, he is in full day ccc and picked up lots of things there (mostly bad)
same lah, we cant blame them lor. full day with their frds, they will monkey see monkey do
just need keep remind them it's not good and reason with them, teach them so that they can go to school and teach their frds it is no good. (usually they like to do this, feel proud mah) -
I think it works both ways. Teachers "prepared" many mother’s day crafts, songs & poems. This month i’m showered with love from both kids.
But I hate the words & nonsense they pick up from friends. "copycat, catch a rat, go
home give ur mother wack…" & adjectives "lame", expressions "oh man" etc. No matter how u "protect" them from tv or media, they will pick up all these in sch
Hello! It looks like you're interested in this conversation, but you don't have an account yet.
Getting fed up of having to scroll through the same posts each visit? When you register for an account, you'll always come back to exactly where you were before, and choose to be notified of new replies (either via email, or push notification). You'll also be able to save bookmarks and upvote posts to show your appreciation to other community members.
With your input, this post could be even better 💗
Register Login
