Children Suicide Cases

[corneyAmber]

I agree with my chingu....everything contingents on our relationship with our child/children. If we have been building an open communication relationship instead of \"I am the parent, you listen to me\" stance especially when they grow older, then chances of a teenage child to continue sharing woes with the parents is much higher. Also, communication is 2-way, so sometimes I also confide and consult my child.......:) I just had this interesting dialogue with my child where she helped me make the decision, not major but small decisions will lead to bigger ones next time:


Me: Should I go to the gas station first or go to our destination first?
Child: I think you better go to the gas station first.
Me: Why?
Child: If you go to the destination first, we may never reach there because I don't think I can help you push the car to arrive on time, probably only next morning....

Then we both burst into explosive laughter. So I took her advice.

[LLK]

Pen88n:

LLK:

[quote=\"Fairy\"]
How would you react if your teens declare undying love for another girl/boy and tell you he/she only lives for the other party? As a parent, if you feel that your child is too young to be in a more than platonic one to one relationship which is affecting him/her in studies and all areas of life, would you still support his/her behaviour? Would you allow them to carry on the friendship or would you disallow any further development of the relationship? It's really not easy to handle such a situation.

It is indeed not easy to handle that kind of situation. Some teens of that age can be really hard to talk sense into. The issue here is that we got to do what we can to prevent them from doing silly things - like taking their own lives. Still, sometimes, say is easier than done.............

It is time like this that will be dependent on how \"strong\" a relationship you have with your teen. You will need to talk to your teen that you understand how's that feeling at his / her age. It is alright that he / she feels the person is his / her whole world - assure them you have been thru' that too but subtly hint that their world is not only that person. However, also point out to them that the likelihood of being with the first being the last is also not an absolute thing - give examples of the people you both know, and their first is not their last. Discuss why this is so - people change, feelings change, discover unsuitability, etc. Tell him / her it is good to be open to have more friends - give examples of how friend can widen their exposure, social network etc. and how opposite sex can be good friends too. Talk to them about how to handle relationship.

All these topics need to be approached as subtly (more like a conversation) and split into many sessions to finally engage the teen to confide in you. Need to be managed properly and subtly.[/quote]Very good points. Thank you so much. :thankyou:

[Pen88n]

I think nowadays the teens are much more "exposed" thus more "matured" (I questioned that maturity but still comparatively with our time, they may be more matured). It is important that parents communicate more with their kids.


Newspaper is a good place to start discussion. We as a family talk about some articles we read in the papers. I highlighted some to my DS to let him know - eg. scholars caught with pornography, underage sex, dumping baby, etc. Tell him how a moment of folly can ruin someone’s whole life by leaving a "black mark" (which may / may not be "erasable" with lots of effort).

We have not talk about "suicide" - maybe I need to approach this topic and highlight how the person who committed suicide has greatly hurt the family in his / her moment of folly. Discuss in such circumstances (BGR / failed test?) is it really the end of the road? What else is there to look forward to in life - many things!

[buds]

:goodpost: Pen88n.

[tankee]

Pen88n:

.....Newspaper is a good place to start discussion. We as a family talk about some articles we read in the papers. I highlighted some to my DS to let him know ...

:goodpost:

we do likewise.

[poppy15]

tankee:

Pen88n:

.....Newspaper is a good place to start discussion. We as a family talk about some articles we read in the papers. I highlighted some to my DS to let him know ...

:goodpost:

we do likewise.

:hi5:
we do that too... keep the kids informed of what's going on ard them

[corneyAmber]

Here are the recent 3 suicides of youngsters in English:


http://edvantage.com.sg/edvantage/news/news/660368/three_youth_suicides_in_past_month.html

[LLK]

Pen88n:

I think nowadays the teens are much more \"exposed\" thus more \"matured\" (I questioned that maturity but still comparatively with our time, they may be more matured). It is important that parents communicate more with their kids.


Newspaper is a good place to start discussion. We as a family talk about some articles we read in the papers. I highlighted some to my DS to let him know - eg. scholars caught with pornography, underage sex, dumping baby, etc. Tell him how a moment of folly can ruin someone's whole life by leaving a \"black mark\" (which may / may not be \"erasable\" with lots of effort).

We have not talk about \"suicide\" - maybe I need to approach this topic and highlight how the person who committed suicide has greatly hurt the family in his / her moment of folly. Discuss in such circumstances (BGR / failed test?) is it really the end of the road? What else is there to look forward to in life - many things!

Another valid and good points. Such newspaper discussion and sharing would benefit them in many ways and all parents should always do that. Thanks Pen88n

[Quintessential Mum]

Very sad indeed! I heard that she was from Hwa Chong. There is so much more to life than grades, BGR etc. My heart goes out to her parents. Let’s make it a point to remind ourselves and our kids every day that there is so much to live for, to be thankful and to appreciate the simple things in life.

[pinky]

IMHO, it's IQ v EQ problem, are our kids equipped with the necessary skills to tackle life's ups and downs, success and failures etc ??

dealing with life's problems requires much more EQ than academic excellence...