Any parents of gifted children here ?

[breguet]

Hi all, this discussion is really interesting. A common thread seems to be appearing among the parents here - that some kids learn faster; as a consequence, they get bored in school, at least in the initial years. Like what Wellness was told, wait for the GEP programme.


I can imagine what the bureacrats are thinking - that three years (to P3) in the big scheme of things is not a long time to wait. But to parents who have to boot the kids up the schoolbus every morning and hear them groan like it’s the end of the world everyday, 3 years IS an eternity. The reality is that the number of gifted children in the population base is statistically very small to begin with. And not all develop at the same fast pace in the early years, so it may not make $ sense to have early screening programs. 9 could be the developmental age when most of these kids begin to hit their potential. Already, the GEP is causing a hue and cry among the general population because of its elitist implications, so I’m guessing the MOE will not consider earlier differentiation in order not to risk public ire as well.

BTW, this problem is again not just a Singapore one (although we’re worse off because our absolute numbers are even smaller). There are differentiated programmes in the US for young kids, but it is usually at the private school level, which costs an arm and a leg. Even then, getting differentiation, from what I gather, may require the parent to cry-father-cry-mother on top of paying the massive fees. Even then, the kids may not get the appropriate treatment.

That doesn’t take away the problems of parents who are affected however. My son is 5 and I can’t even get him to go to school. I think it’s ok in the early years, but I shudder to think of formal school. If he never learns to apply himself because things come easy, can he suddenly develop study skills when he has to, because school work will only get harder and he needs to apply himself at some point?

Maybe what could work is a club of similarly afflicted parents so we can muster our resources and help each other out. It won’t help with the school work, but it helps when we have more information.

[tamarind]

mamachris:

Sorry, I am aware what I wrote was a side-track. My point across to all parents is that no matter whether a person is gifted or not (at tender age), it does not secure his/her path in the future. Thus, it is important to focus on the right perspectives of learning- moral values, character building, EQ and AQ- which is harder to teach.

I totally agree. I think many parents are neglecting this aspect. Even if a child is gifted, he/she should still make friends with kids of lower abilities, without feeling that he/she is \"lowering\" herself. Why can't a bright kid make friends with not so bright ones ? In fact, helping weaker students is an important part of character building. It is also very important to teach the child to be sensitive to other people's feelings, to know how to say the right things at the right time. I think it is really up to the parents to teach the child.

[breguet]

wellness:

Hi wwcookie & EN,

Well he was crying about attending Math in class - sitting there, cannot move etc (he is in the top class of his level) - so the principal arranged for the school counsellor to talk to him. My son told the counsellor that he ranks school, especially Math, 4 out of 10. That's when we decided to seek gep's opinion and maybe recommend him for accelerated math (ie. let him attend P3 math class).

But the result was that he was 'bright & should be given challenging work differentiated from his classmates. It will not help even if accelerated' and therefore, no need for acceleration but just wait till P3's gep test.

So sad. Don't see any new learning for him in Math.

Hugs to you, Wellness. Please take care.

[tamarind]

breguet:

BTW, this problem is again not just a Singapore one (although we're worse off because our absolute numbers are even smaller). There are differentiated programmes in the US for young kids, but it is usually at the private school level, which costs an arm and a leg. Even then, getting differentiation, from what I gather, may require the parent to cry-father-cry-mother on top of paying the massive fees. Even then, the kids may not get the appropriate treatment.

In the US and in China, gifted programs are available only to the rich and elite. In Singapore, every child, whether rich or poor is given a chance. This is one good thing about the GEP(although I do not like the way it is implemented).

Actually there are many things the mommy can do at home. I know of an SAHM, who has 2 highly gifted kids. Her girl can read 3 letter words at 15 months old. Her kids do not go to kindergarten/nursery. She is homeschooling them. I am working full time, and I am teaching my girl far advance than what she is learning in kindergarten. I sent her to school mainly for the social interaction.

But I guess many of us are working mommies, and we cannot afford to do the same. But we can still try our best to provide a rich learning environment at home, when the child return home from school. Even if a kid is not in the GEP, there are still many ways to develop their potentials.

[wwcookie]

tamarind:

breguet:

But I guess many of us are working mommies, and we cannot afford to do the same. But we can still try our best to provide a rich learning environment at home, when the child return home from school. Even if a kid is not in the GEP, there are still many ways to develop their potentials.

I beg to differ. Working mommies like us really are pinched for time. For my case, my boy is in the morn session so he needs to zzz by 9pm. I usually only come home by 7 plus and after gobbling up my dinner, its usually already close to 8 by the time I can sit down with him. So there's really very little time spent with him to 'develop his potential'. Even if there's time, I do not want him to do more 'academic' work at home. They spend most of their time in school so learning should come from there, imo.

[tamarind]

wwcookie:

tamarind:

[quote=\"breguet\"]
But I guess many of us are working mommies, and we cannot afford to do the same. But we can still try our best to provide a rich learning environment at home, when the child return home from school. Even if a kid is not in the GEP, there are still many ways to develop their potentials.

I beg to differ. Working mommies like us really are pinched for time. For my case, my boy is in the morn session so he needs to zzz by 9pm. I usually only come home by 7 plus and after gobbling up my dinner, its usually already close to 8 by the time I can sit down with him. So there's really very little time spent with him to 'develop his potential'. Even if there's time, I do not want him to do more 'academic' work at home. They spend most of their time in school so learning should come from there, imo.

[/quote]If the child is able to read independently, then having many books at home for him to learn on his own, as well as educational toys, will be the same as providing a rich learning environment.

I agree that working mothers really don't have much time. I only spend about 20 - 30 mins each day teaching my kids, but that is good enough.

I always think that the ability to read and learn independently is the most important skill that we can teach our kids.

[wwcookie]

tamarind:

I totally agree. I think many parents are neglecting this aspect. Even if a child is gifted, he/she should still make friends with kids of lower abilities, without feeling that he/she is \"lowering\" herself. Why can't a bright kid make friends with not so bright ones ? In fact, helping weaker students is an important part of character building. It is also very important to teach the child to be sensitive to other people's feelings, to know how to say the right things at the right time. I think it is really up to the parents to teach the child.

Agreed. All kids must mix with all other kids regardless of abilities and character building is more important than all else. But I think the point here is not whether bright kids should make friends with whomever but whether the education system is providing for their needs. As can be read from some parents here, the kids really do have problems in the normal classrooms stemming from the teaching styles and curriculum. The ideal would be to have differentiated learning within a classroom of mixed ability kids but that is quite impossible to implement in reality. Im also not really comfortable with extra supplementary lessons on top of the normal school hours as already the kids are spending 6 hours sitting in the classroom. So what's the next best solution besides dedicated classes? Pull-out programs within curriculum time? Any parents heard of this in any Singapore schools?

[wwcookie]

wellness:

Hi wwcookie & EN,

Well he was crying about attending Math in class - sitting there, cannot move etc (he is in the top class of his level) - so the principal arranged for the school counsellor to talk to him. My son told the counsellor that he ranks school, especially Math, 4 out of 10. That's when we decided to seek gep's opinion and maybe recommend him for accelerated math (ie. let him attend P3 math class).

But the result was that he was 'bright & should be given challenging work differentiated from his classmates. It will not help even if accelerated' and therefore, no need for acceleration but just wait till P3's gep test.

So sad. Don't see any new learning for him in Math.

Yes, wellness, it is very sad. Sometimes the teachers simply don't know what to do. There is no well thought out program for them at all in the lower primaries.

[wwcookie]

breguet:

Maybe what could work is a club of similarly afflicted parents so we can muster our resources and help each other out. It won't help with the school work, but it helps when we have more information.

Breguet, I support you! We should get together and help each other out. I read that there are such clubs in the US. We should start one here too

[ChiefKiasu]

Here's a http://www.pearlsoup.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=pearls.view&pearlID=14744 @ Pearlsoup.com:


If you're like most people - myself included - when you hear the term “special needs,” you probably start thinking of a certain type of person; one who may be physically or emotionally handicapped. And in fact, until very recently this is the only definition of special needs that I was aware of. But while trying to find out more about our son's giftedness I found something very interesting. It seems that the more profoundly gifted a child is the more that child could be considered special needs; not in the traditional sense of the definition, but special needs none-the-less. Initially I didn't much care for this label for our son, but the more I thought about it the more it made sense. And the more it made sense, the more freedom I found.
Our son's chronological age doesn't seem to have much bearing on either his cognitive reasoning or his emotional maturity and it is the great difference in these areas that makes our son a special needs child. While it can be quite a delight to teach him and see him absorb information almost as fast as I can feed it to him, because of his ability to communicate at a level on par with a 12 or 13 year old I have a tendency to treat him as though he were older than he is. This can cause quite a lot of frustration on my part, especially when he starts behaving like a 3 or 4 year old, which is about where he is emotionally. It's sort of like have three kids rolled into one - and boy can it be tiring!

To look at an asynchronous child - one whose emotion, intellectual and chronological ages are on different levels - you might not think that the child was different from any other. But then they talk to you and you soon realize that something is different. Our son is much like that. He looks like a normal 5 year old boy. Then he opens his mouth and it's all over. For the parents of asynchronous children life becomes an unusual symphony - trying to be the intermediary between your child and the world, and vice versa.

My husband and I are the ones who have to explain the world to our son; not only the world, but his place in it. We also have to explain to our son why he can't do the things that he wants to do because he's just too young to do them. It's times like these that his asynchronisity is most evident. His intense emotions are easily frustrated by his advanced intellectualism. When these worlds collide inside our son, all we can do is be there for him, hold him and comfort him.

Just the other night my husband said that he wished our son could just be a little boy. I have often felt cheated out of our son's toddler years, and even this time when he should have no cares, no worries other than which toy to play with first. But when your child teaches himself to read by the age of two and a half, when he takes six weeks to complete a full year's kindergarten curriculum before he's three, and learns his states and capitals by his fourth birthday, what can you do?

We have never pushed our son academically. On the contrary, it has been our son who has run so far in the lead that at times my husband and I merely try to keep up with him. I won't deny him intellectual stimulation just because society says that a child his age should be doing X, Y or Z. And we've found that if he doesn't have something to challenge him intellectually, he becomes bored and then, watch out!

Parenting a “normal” child is a big balancing act. Parenting a child with special needs, whether society would call them handicapped or gifted, can be a three-ringed circus. But with God's help and guidance, and learning as much as you can about the uniqueness and intricacies of your child, it can be the greatest show on earth!