Parents/Kids Behaviour in Supermarket/Hypermart

[autumnbronze]

For scenario 1:

I carry a pkt of milo and a cereal bar or some biscuits whenever DS is out with me - SOP one. Of course there were occasions when he saw Yakult or something that he wanted to have at that point of time. But he has been cautioned that he can only do so after we have paid. And just so to avoid further negotiations from him, I will tell him that I will give him the money to pay the cashier ... that makes him feel important and he looks forward to that, hence temporarily taking his mind off the item.

However, I suppose if its a genuine case of the child being hungry or thirsty, then I think its ok to cut some slack. But again, if such a scenario happens with my DS, and he is not able to sit out his thirst or hunger pangs for a while and I happen to forget to bring something for him to munch, I would relent but I would remind him that this cannot become a habit and that we have to pay for the items first before consuming.

For scenario 2:
I cannot really comment on this cuz we don't bring him out to hypermart/supermarket to play/try out with toys. He is usu with us and helps us buy groceries. The few times we have brought him to Toys R Us to purchase something for him, DH is there to supervise him. If he wants to play with the sample toys, he has to ask for permission, because from young, we have taught him not to anyhow touch things that don't belong to him. Of course now he is older, he is more curious and sometimes he forgets, but we will step in and reinforce.

[corneyAmber]

Well said, autumnbronze. Like what you and Jennifer said, good habits start from young and I am sure your sons will grow up to be well-behaved boys. :celebrate:

[autumnbronze]

Maid:

Well said, autumnbronze. Like what you and Jennifer said, good habits start from young and I am sure your sons will grow up to be well-behaved boys. :celebrate:

I hope so maid ... I hope so. I have always stressed around the forum that to me personally, having a sound set of values is very important.

I know its tough for parents .... always having to be alert and sounding like a broken record repeating instructions/reminders all the time .... but I am also confident that parents would reap the benefits of this 'hard work' in the long run

[corneyAmber]

autumnbronze:

I hope so maid ... I hope so. I have always stressed around the forum that to me personally, having a sound set of values is very important.


I know its tough for parents .... always having to be alert and sounding like a broken record repeating instructions/reminders all the time .... but I am also confident that parents would reap the benefits of this 'hard work' in the long run

Don't worry, I am sure they will. Good habits start from young and I can see that you have already done your part.

I am one example for you. I brought my boys up without the help of a maid and I am glad to say that my sacrifice has paid off. Worth every bit of sacrifice that I made.

[tutormum]

1. I have seen open packets with missing amount, put back on the shelves. Does it mean that if you have opened a packet and doesn't like the product you don't need to buy? Eating something that has not been paid is stealing. :stompfeet: As parents, we have to be mindful what we teach our children. Why go shopping when the children are hungry? Why can't parents feed them first? I would go shopping after lunch instead of before. If the situation arises, e.g. if the children are exceptionally thirsty and can't wait to get a drink, then the decent thing to do is to go to the counter to pay for that particular drink so that the item can be consumed before continuing to shop. Anything not paid still belongs to the store. period. Children need to learn to respect other people's properties.


2. If there is no intention to buy a toy, I'll never bring my children to the toy department. Why tempt the children if you have no intention of getting them any? Of course there are times when you need to buy one e.g. for special occasions like birthdays and the children may not fancy any after \"choosing\" and \"testing\". Choosing and testing a toy is fine but it's not fair to the store if it is treated as your own if you have not paid for it. If your children like it then pay for it and they can play it at home. If not, just move on and look for another. Would you buy a particular toy after knowing that other children have spend \"a long time\" playing with it? I'm sure after all the choosing and testing, the parents would want the sales assistant to give them a \"new\" one when they decided to buy. I'm sure the original poster find it repulsive when parents let their children treat the store as a playground and getting free play without any intention of buying. :spank: :spank:

[corneyAmber]

tutormum:

1. I have seen open packets with missing amount, put back on the shelves. Does it mean that if you have opened a packet and doesn't like the product you don't need to buy? Eating something that has not been paid is stealing. :stompfeet: As parents, we have to be mindful what we teach our children. Why go shopping when the children are hungry? Why can't parents feed them first? I would go shopping after lunch instead of before. If the situation arises, e.g. if the children are exceptionally thirsty and can't wait to get a drink, then the decent thing to do is to go to the counter to pay for that particular drink so that the item can be consumed before continuing to shop. Anything not paid still belongs to the store. period. Children need to learn to respect other people's properties.


2. If there is no intention to buy a toy, I'll never bring my children to the toy department. Why tempt the children if you have no intention of getting them any? Of course there are times when you need to buy one e.g. for special occasions like birthdays and the children may not fancy any after \"choosing\" and \"testing\". Choosing and testing a toy is fine but it's not fair to the store if it is treated as your own if you have not paid for it. If your children like it then pay for it and they can play it at home. If not, just move on and look for another. Would you buy a particular toy after knowing that other children have spend \"a long time\" playing with it? I'm sure after all the choosing and testing, the parents would want the sales assistant to give them a \"new\" one when they decided to buy. I'm sure the original poster find it repulsive when parents let their children treat the store as a playground and getting free play without any intention of buying. :spank: :spank:

Very well said, tutormum! :goodpost: :celebrate:

Senario #1 - My thinking is the same. If a child is really hungry/thirsty, then by all means, grab whatever's necessary, pay for it, let the child consume it before continuing with the shopping. Why teach a child that it is okay to consume first, then pay later, right?

Senario #2 - That was what I was trying to say! Parents treating the toys department like a playground without intention of buying, say a bicycle for example. I have seen groups of kids (think they were either siblings or cousins), racing each other down the aisles on bicycles, obviously having fun, and their parents behaving as it that's the most natural thing to do. :roll:

And yes, testing a toy with the intention of buying it is one thing, but what about bouncing the balls, throwing the balls at each other? Surely, these are not testing the toys? And besides, a ball is a ball, is there a need to test by throwing it at each other, and inconveniencing other customers in the process? :roll:

Yes, we may say that it is the job of the staff to put a stop to such behaviour, but the problem is that most times, the staff either pretends to close one eye for fear of offending the parents or they are too busy with other things to constantly keep an eye on the kids riding the bicycles, playing with the balls for eg.

At the end of the day, they are our kids and they are our responsibility and we have to guide them, and bring them up. It is just so lame to say that such behaviours are okay since the staff did not utter a word. :roll:

[autumnbronze]

tutormum:

Why go shopping when the children are hungry? Why can't parents feed them first? I would go shopping after lunch instead of before. If the situation arises, e.g. if the children are exceptionally thirsty and can't wait to get a drink, then the decent thing to do is to go to the counter to pay for that particular drink so that the item can be consumed before continuing to shop. Anything not paid still belongs to the store. period. Children need to learn to respect other people's properties.

Hi tutormom,

You have raised a very valid point above.

But I do believe that some exceptions have to be made sometimes in the case of toddlers, who tend to be volatile when it comes to matters of the stomach. Putting aside the fact that I believe most parents do bring their kids out after feeding them .... what if they had to run errands before going grocery shopping and that took up a bit more time than anticipated? Yes, I agree that one option is to go up to the cashier and pay for the item. But what if there is a long queue at the cashier? What if one is under time constraint? Time is not being spent productively when one has to interrupt the grocery shopping and then queue up twice some more. I feel that it would tantamount to stealing if one leaves the premises w/o paying and that would be almost impossible because of alarms and cctvs.

Anyway, I believe what is really important here is that the child needs to be explained to and that he/she has to understand that this is an exception made just one time and not the norm.

JMHO, thats all

[Chenonceau]

Scenario 1

Hmmmm… I generally dun allow snacking. Grabbing stuff off the shelves and eating as you go is something of a poor eating habit. My son did ask if he could open a packet of cookies but he was told to wait till dinner (which was soon) to eat, and besides, one had to pay first. BUT my son isn’t a toddler anymore. Toddlers can have unruly stomachs.

Scenario 2
My bugbear isn’t toys so much as books. Many kids in Borders were left there to entertain themselves whilst their parents shop. The books see considerable wear and tear. This said, I am guilty of bringing DS to check out toys and books to see if they’re worth the buy… and then buy from internet.

[jtoh]

Maid:

Very well said, tutormum! :goodpost: :celebrate:


Senario #1 - My thinking is the same. If a child is really hungry/thirsty, then by all means, grab whatever's necessary, pay for it, let the child consume it before continuing with the shopping. Why teach a child that it is okay to consume first, then pay later, right?

Senario #2 - That was what I was trying to say! Parents treating the toys department like a playground without intention of buying, say a bicycle for example. I have seen groups of kids (think they were either siblings or cousins), racing each other down the aisles on bicycles, obviously having fun, and their parents behaving as it that's the most natural thing to do. :roll:

And yes, testing a toy with the intention of buying it is one thing, but what about bouncing the balls, throwing the balls at each other? Surely, these are not testing the toys? And besides, a ball is a ball, is there a need to test by throwing it at each other, and inconveniencing other customers in the process? :roll:

Yes, we may say that it is the job of the staff to put a stop to such behaviour, but the problem is that most times, the staff either pretends to close one eye for fear of offending the parents or they are too busy with other things to constantly keep an eye on the kids riding the bicycles, playing with the balls for eg.

At the end of the day, they are our kids and they are our responsibility and we have to guide them, and bring them up. It is just so lame to say that such behaviours are okay since the staff did not utter a word. :roll:

I agree. A child's responsiblity is ours. We shouldn't wait for disapproving looks or for a staff to put a stop to such behavior. Again, the staff there are not employed to babysit our kids while we go shopping.

And definitely, how a kid behaves now and when he grows up has to do with the kind of values and acceptable behavior we inculcate in them today. If Mummy says it's okay to play with all the toys in the shop but not buy them, who's to tell me otherwise?

[jtoh]

Chenonceau:

Scenario 1

Hmmmm... I generally dun allow snacking. Grabbing stuff off the shelves and eating as you go is something of a poor eating habit. My son did ask if he could open a packet of cookies but he was told to wait till dinner (which was soon) to eat, and besides, one had to pay first. BUT my son isn't a toddler anymore. Toddlers can have unruly stomachs.

Scenario 2
My bugbear isn't toys so much as books. Many kids in Borders were left there to entertain themselves whilst their parents shop. The books see considerable wear and tear. This said, I am guilty of bringing DS to check out toys and books to see if they're worth the buy... and then buy from internet.

The state of books at Borders due to over-browsing is a bugbear of mine too. I don't browse at bookshops. I take a quick look at the synopsis and if I like it I buy it. But the problem is the books are sometimes so thumbed through I don't want to buy them from Borders. I've always wondered why Borders doesn't shrink wrap their books and if need be leave a browsing copy out. Makes it so much better for serious shoppers like me.