Will you treat Daughter-In-Law and Daughter Equally?

[janet88]

flyfree:

janet_lee88:

[quote=\"puff\"]I'll definitely treat my daughter better as I know her well & live with her longer than my daughter-in-law.

Actually it's not abt blood thicker than water... It's abt watching her grow n the amt of time spend that make me side with my daughter compare to daughter-in-law. I believe even if is a adopted child fr young I will still treat her beter than DIL.

Told my son not to expect me to look after his children in future...get his mother-in-law to do so.

If u tell your son to get his mother-in-law to look after his children, he might be a bit \"disappointed\" & \"surprised\" by your remarks cos he might not expect u to hv such thinking cos son will also care.[/quote]I explained to him that women will want to do things their way and will prefer to have their mothesr look after (normal for a woman to feel that way). He told me he prefers his future wife to be SAHM while he brings home the bacon...my hubby & I were surprised he would think that way (I'm a SAHM).

[Flowermonaster]

flyfree:

If MIL only hv sons, don't hv daughter, will MIL treat DIL as a \"real daughter\"?

I always envy others for having daughter(s). I will want to treat my Future DIL as my own since I don't have daughter. This is just my wish but not sure if it will really happen that way as a lot of things need two hands to clap.

[Willow]

i only have sons so i will have to treat my future DIL well like a daughter…even if my boys marries someone i dun like , i’m not going to show it cos she has ‘control’ over my boys now…if i close my doors on her, god knows whether she will psycho my boys against me. at least that’s wat i think…

[BeContented]

As a DIL right now, I find it weird that why would MILs feel that the DILs will pyscho the son to turn against them? Seriously, I also dunno if my mentality will change when I become a MIL myself in future


I won't deny that at times (many times to be REALLY honest...ha) I wish DH would stand up against the mother, but that is only when I feel the MIL is trying to interfere too much, being unreasonable or when I think that he should get MIL to correct some of her bad habits eg. spitting out of windows, placing uncovered raw food next to other food in the fridge, after touching raw meat, she does not washing her hands with soap and start touching other stuff, thaw and rethaw raw food repeatedly etc.

Otherwise, I dun think DILs really want the sons to be unfilial. In my opinion, if a man knows how to treat his family well, I believe he will be a good man for MY own family too. In the first place, I wouldn't have married him if he was unfilial or treat his family badly......
So MILs-to-be (which of course includes me), we also probably need to constantly remind ourselves to learn and let go of the son too.....eventually, they have their own life to lead.

[LOLMum]

then better go for medical check up (both physical and mental) more often after kids are married. if everything also swallowed down the throat, will definitely r.i.p early.

[Chenonceau]

I know of a DIL who slaps her MIL blue black. MIL does not dare go to police because her son is someone high up somewhere visible. In the end, she had to rent a small HDB flat somewhere to stay.


I’m gonna make sure that I have my own place to stay, my own money to spend… and I will treat son and DIL as friends. Respect their personal space and ensure they respect mine.

[LOLMum]

Willow:

i only have sons so i will have to treat my future DIL well like a daughter....even if my boys marries someone i dun like , i'm not going to show it cos she has 'control' over my boys now....if i close my doors on her, god knows whether she will psycho my boys against me. at least that's wat i think...

LOLMum:

then better go for medical check up (both physical and mental) more often after kids are married. if everything also swallowed down the throat, will definitely r.i.p early.

[flyfree]

So, it seems like only those who do not hv daugher will treat their DIL as their own. Those who hv both sons & daughters would not treat their DIL "well". They would like DIL as "outsider".

[flyfree]

For those who intend not to treat their DIL "well", pls don’t forget that your daughter is oso someone’s DIL. Will u feel good if your daughter is "not treated well" by her MIL?

[Funz]

Must one treat their DIL as their DD in order to treat them well? I don’t think so.


If I were to treat DIL like I would my DD, then she may not like it. Being brought up in a different household, she may have different ideals and habits and ways of doing things. If she were my DD, I may expect certain things to be done certain way like how we would have instilled in our DD. That may lead to a lot of conflicts.

For me, if my son chose her, I will accept her as my son’s wife. Someone important, who is part of the family. She has her position in my life but she will not be my DD. The relationship will definitely be different from what I will have with my DD. For one, I will definitely not be as free to tell her off as I would my DD and I think that may be in her favour.