All About Full-Time Maids

[hquek]

It took us about 2-3 months before my mum’s complaints stopped. Although there was language confusion, culture shock etc, what clinched it for me is the sincere and warm look on her face, the fact she doesn’t give us black face. And if she did something wrong, she will apologise and look sorry. for me, attitude is key. Else, how to live together.

[Anna Ng]

Maybe i keep on comparing the current one with my first Philipino maid (very very good) that’s why i quite frustrated when i need to give her more learning period.


Dear LKVM: After my first maid (worked 11 mths) and second maid (2 weeks), i never never trusted about "finish 2 years contract". Not only spoit the relationship and make me spend extra for agent fee, insurance, time to interview a new one etc. (i think agent is the most happy part here). My hubby said he needs to conduct "ex-maid" discussion to check whether the problems arised from our side or maids. Really cannot understand them, come here for holiday or "exchange maid " program.

[SMH FOREST]

Peace Charlie:

Hari Raya is just round the corner. do employer gave their indo maid little ang pow? Was wondering am i spoiling the market? Cos my new maid joined me less than a month was wondering shd i or not.... furthermore with less than a month she's showing some slacking in her duties.always full of excuses when I told her to follow my rules....

Peace Charlie,

my new indo maid is also with me for 1wk+ to 2wks ... was thinking of giving her an ang pow on top of what we already provided her... but her actions stopped me from giving anymore... we bought her 3 sets of new clothes on sat (told her its for hari raya)... and this was even tho, she talked to a stranger maid while waiting for us outside the guanyin temple at bugis!! this is in spite of the fact that i had rules and regulations written in english and bahasa indo that she is not allowed to talk to strangers! i didnt want her to start chatting anyone and everyone up as she is supposed to be home alone after the initial period... and i dont want her to bring strangers home! that is why i have this rule stated in black and white for her.

she has a 3yo daughter, and since its hari raya, we bought her a phone card so that she can call home... my hub told her she can call for 10mins... and end up, she made 3 calls (first to her hubby, then to her mom, and then to her hubby again cos her hubby had to go get her kid to the phone).... i made the calls for her... didnt mind the call to her mom and back to her hubby, but i got upset after the last call was made for > 30mins! add up the 2 previous calls, she had already utilised >40mins of the calltime! i mean, we are trying to be really nice here, letting her call hm cos its the raya hols... and she is only here for not even 2 wks!! But simply ignoring tt we had instructed to her to keep the phone call at 10mins... :stompfeet:

This morning, she very \"keh kiang\" and swapped the schedule times as she liked, and when i had to make coffee, there was NO HOT WATER (water was being boiled)... and yday she didnt clean the bathroom properly.. and when i asked her why still many stains, she answered me...\"Mdm, not easy!\"... :slapshead: :stupid:

with that, i told her this morn.. we already gave her more benefits than what she is entitled to... with < a mth of wkg for us, we have given her alot... so, either she works properly, or she will go bk to agent... i guess, with the many bad maids, i am prepared to send her bk if she doesnt wanna work well... but if she is willing to change, i will keep her... i hope she get the msg across...

p.s: btw, she is also one who will not say sorry if she does anything wrong.. just keep mumbling to herself in whatever i said in english... i guessed, after a wk+, i realised that she is mumbling back to herself so that she can translate the english to indo.... arrgghhh... *HEADACHE*

[hquek]

hi smh_forest,


Try not to get agitated lah. It's inevitable she'll miss home and want to talk to as many as she can. My ex-maid also one kind. If I pay for her, she has no qualms to yak and yak. So I got her to pay for it....then suddenly, she is very thrifty. Current maid will also use up the phone card very fast (in part Myanmar is very expensive to call back), but she is zi dong in that she won't ask us to buy card.

At least her mumbling is to translate. Give her some time, I bet she'll be fluent even in chinese/dialect!

As for ke kiang, yes, there is no way about it. My first maid took 5 years and still cannot mop the way we want - she's more like drawing pictures and spreading the dirt around. After a while, we just gave up and ask her to clean somemore.

[SMH FOREST]

hi hquek,


i think buying her hari raya clothings and letting her call home is already doing our part liao... a total call of >40mins when she is only here wkg for us for < 2 wks... is a bit overboard... we truly understand her missing home, especially for hari raya... and that's exactly why we bought her the phone card when she is just here for < 2wks... if we didnt specify her any timing, and she yak for >40mins, it is our fault... but we did specify, so just ignoring us and hiding away talking is not what i would think as being \"appreciative\"...

haha.. yes, i finally figured out why she is mumbling... but she just refuses to acknowledge that she is wrong, and offer her \"sorry\"... n there were times, she didnt even look at me as i talked to her, and then just walk off without correcting what she had done wrongly or what... had to also tell her to respond to us, and also to refer to the rules and guidelines again...

oh... plus, the above reinforces why i didnt give her that additional ang pow which peace charlie was mentioning... was thinking of giving at first, but as the sequence of events passes... i withheld it and if she is good in future, i will give it to her...

seems that maids nowadays, even if u give them black and white, they also refuse to follow it... dunno why its so hard... even more so if the instructions are already in bahasa indo... shdn't it be understandable to them already??? Sigh... :faint:

[hquek]

Hi smh_forest,


I think you have done your part (and more) to her. on the walking away bit, my indo maids also the same. When i got really angry, I raised my voice and told her that I am NOT done, and it’s rude for her to turn away becos that means she’s boss. I think there is some cultural thingy there. But in time to come, they learnt to stand there and let me vent.

Though my indo maids would usually start with the red eyes, tearing a bit that type. Woah, that one lagi worse. I rather they just look sorry and say that.

Was telling my current one something that she neglected to do - DS2 put some cards into his pocket and forgot to take it out, maid happily soaked the whole thing in water without checking. But I made the point clear that DS, myself also have a share in the blame - we also should have checked before passing to her. No point making her feel worthless becos it’s everyone’s fault and I don’t want her to say I wanna go home. Was very mollified when she expressed her apologies. Case closed.

[hquek]

and smh_forest, her monthly salary is due to her, and that’s that. Anything extra IS extra - if she earned it becos of her good attitude, good work, that’s great. But my take is that she will have to show she deserves it.


Don’t think you are shortchanging her, you are definitely not.

[Admummy]

smh_forrest,

Your experiences sound so familiar to me..mine also everytime bring her out, sure talk to other maid (despite being reminded)... sama sama on the phone calls..she used up the $10 calling card by spending two hours on one call..we also out of goodwill sponsor calling card even though she just joined my family less than a month at that time..she even cheeky said deduct from her pay when we explained to her how she should use the card wisely..her pay now is only $20 monthly ( due to her loan)...Yah when ask her to do things like clean fan.. she will say \"difficult\", not even attempting to try..hai..really blood boil with her sometimes but every time make me angry and scold her then feel apologetic...afterall she is so young and poor thing to come here alone...now I pray no.3 quickly grow up and I will not rely on maid anymore..then the expenses on the maid will transformed to my pocket money..think of all the money save...

[Admummy]

LKVM:

I sometimes feel shall we really not allow them to talk to other maids?

True I also feel is it too harsh but after hearing stories abt maids who turn \"bad\" after chatting with other maid.. I dare not risk...

[hquek]

i think it’s impossible for them not to talk to their friends - if we go overseas to work for sometime, I’m sure we would want to find friends to talk to?


I can’t communicate with them, and won’t stop them from chatting up others - will draw line at inviting pp in. My first one was more shy, but it was very funny to see her and other maids looking at each other, shy smile, winking perhaps. A bit like those old-style movies. And I thought she didn’t have friends here, after a while, my mum told me that she was spending a lot of time hanging the clothes (we had a mobile hanger to be placed on the floor). Turns out she made friends with the maid next door and would chat with her.

For 2nd one, i actually encouraged her to talk to the neighbour’s maid downstairs. was a bit concerned she may go crazy with no one to talk to. As long as work is done, i close my eyes. Of course, I did tell her that if she bring pp home, and things are lost, all fingers will be on her.