All About Full-Time Maids

[Chu Liu Xiang]

jtoh:

Talk about misinformation given by ex-employers. One of my ex-maids' employers said she was very hardworking, very honest, always takes down notes for instructions. Sounds good right? Turns out she's mentally challenged, so very slow, cannot understand instructions, that's why must take down notes. Very hardworking but always does the wrong things, misunderstands instructions... :lightrod:

Also kena con liao

[Chu Liu Xiang]

Qoomum76:

thanks ladies for the replies..yah,, I feel strange to have her eat with us. Yet, I don't wish to offend my MIL..hmm.. My friend suggested that I can scoop some food out from the dishes first and put on her plate, and not let her eat those leftover food after our meal... I even had a indonesian friend(those rich tai tai type). Back home, they requested their maid to cook seperately for her own meal..

Ok lah as long as she's not eating leftovers lor

Just to share my case. Previously, my relative asked me to share by splitting the food with the maid. I told her that I'll eat the fish body while she (if she's the maid) eat the head and tail. How about that? I asked her how to share a fish and that shuts her up.

FI, some employers allow their maids to cook their own meals too whilst others give some meal allowance to their maids to eat out.

[Chu Liu Xiang]

hquek:

Hi Qoomum76,


.......I know of a rich guy in MYS. He has a long time domestic servant and everyday, she will troop down to one of his other houses (owns the whole row) and cook for herself and the gardeners. He doesn't bring her out to eat also - I know some of us have this hangup where we must bring the help along when we go out for dinner.

In my case, whenever my family eats out in hawker centers & foodcourts my maid follows and sits at the same table with us. Sometimes she share the same food with us while at other times I gave her a few dollars to buy her own food. If I eat at restaurants then she sits and share the food at the same table with us. No discrimination here.

Some employers are very stuck up. They'll ask the maid to seat at a corner while they enjoy their meal. MIND YOU THIS INCIDENT HAPPENED OUTSIDE A FOOD COURT AND WAS POSTED OVER AT STOMP, OK!

:nunchuk:

[hquek]

Yes of course, if my family goes out with the maid, she'll sit at the same table as us and eat the same types of food - even if the meal costs over $100 per head (happen before). But now, I will only bring her out if the maid has been 'performing' and doesn't show attitude. If she's bad, then I will just pack food for her and let her eat at home.


Whilst one may talk about families who make their maids starve or eat at another table, there are times in my family where there are too many pp and not enough seats. Sometimes we're the ones that get bumped off the table; other times it could be her (eg where family is sharing food and the maid is muslim so cannot share). Then how? not sure if my picture is in stomp?

Also, when my kids were small, maid was the one to enjoy her food in peace while we grapple with babies and makan - I finetuned the art of swallowing my food so that baby won't be bored, at no time did I expect my maid to take over whilst I eat. How come pp dun talk about maids who enjoy life in makan but only maids who have to sit in one corner?

What I want to bring across is that there are all types of people, many a time, one may not see the whole picture. If a table is large enough, then it doesn't reflect well on the family. If a table is too small, then how?

[Qoomum76]

Hi Liu Xiang…Err…I like to eat fish head leh…heehee… i get your point…will scoop decent amount of food for her. Don’t want to be accused of starving her;). afterall,if you treat her well, she will treat your kids well too!(hopefully)


My friend told me , she once saw a family at hawker centre let the maid eat leftover(e.g. roti prata ) from the kids’ leftovers only , never order anything for her…even though it is just hawker food;(
I can understand when it comes to restaurant dining, some families will let the maid eat at home first(since restaurant food is more expensive)…but hawker food leh…

hquek,wa! Your friend very rich…whole row of houses…

[hquek]

but it’s true, some employers really terrible. Someone told me this employer who will buy roti prata back home for family, but maid excluded - she’s expected to eat bread that was bought. Also, that same family goes shopping, will bring the maid. But come meal time, they will hurry home and expect the maid to cook. That one is serious problem. And the amazing thing is that the maid is pretty good - useful around the house, honest etc. Sigh…some pp have all the luck - even if they are on the cat side.


And yes, that fella is extremely rich - whole row. Bought a piece of land near his place just to convert into a garden. The roads leading to his place was previously not maintained well by the authorities. he went ahead and repaved the whole road. so whilst the other roads are bumpy and holey, the one leading to his place is very nice and smooth.

[SMH FOREST]

hquek:

Yes of course, if my family goes out with the maid, she'll sit at the same table as us and eat the same types of food - even if the meal costs over $100 per head (happen before). But now, I will only bring her out if the maid has been 'performing' and doesn't show attitude. If she's bad, then I will just pack food for her and let her eat at home.


Whilst one may talk about families who make their maids starve or eat at another table, there are times in my family where there are too many pp and not enough seats. Sometimes we're the ones that get bumped off the table; other times it could be her (eg where family is sharing food and the maid is muslim so cannot share). Then how? not sure if my picture is in stomp?

Also, when my kids were small, maid was the one to enjoy her food in peace while we grapple with babies and makan - I finetuned the art of swallowing my food so that baby won't be bored, at no time did I expect my maid to take over whilst I eat. How come pp dun talk about maids who enjoy life in makan but only maids who have to sit in one corner?

What I want to bring across is that there are all types of people, many a time, one may not see the whole picture. If a table is large enough, then it doesn't reflect well on the family. If a table is too small, then how?

:goodpost:

hquek, i fully agree with you on your post. Ppl only make noise when they see the bad... but they never say you did good or did right when we treat the helpers right. It is seen as a given... so ppl never say u treated them well.. and at the same time, the helpers also do not appreciate it!

there can be many ways of mutual respect... it is all dependent on the interactions between the people involved. Some people say that u don't respect the maid, which is why they get into trouble.. find a bf etc... is it really true? Do all maids really recipocrate?? There are many people who will tell stories of maids not recipocrating... why are some people just not willing to \"see\" this? Choosing instead to place the benefits for the helpers and not the employers? Just look at the policies in place, they are pro-maids and not the employers... When my kid is more independent, its time to go maidless... think that's the only solution out of the \"failures\" of the above who should be caring for its ppl....

[hquek]

SMH_forest, I find it quite tough at times - treat her like adult but I’m expected to bear responsibility as if she were a child. Piang…how to do like that?


The only thing I can do is to develop a higher tolerance to dirt and also DIY as much as I can. Dunwan to rely so much on maid that one day I find myself ‘crippled’ if she’s not around. Life gets that little bit tougher, but it’s a matter of adaptation - at least this is so in my case and I feel lucky. I know there must be other cases out there where having a maid is not a luxury but a must.

hee hee. reminds me of a wedding ceremony I attended recently. Officator was telling the couple they came into the marriage with eyes wide open, and after marriage, they have to learn to close one eye (and sometimes two). A bit the same with hiring maids I find - hire one with full expectation of what can go wrong, but once she’s in, close eyes if things not done well (got do can already).

[peapot]

Actually as employers of maid we are in the same plight. So we should be ethical and help fellow singaporeans out. If the maid is no good, then transferring out is not good enough. The maid should be sent back. If the loan is not finish, then sent her back to agent. But when potential contact you, speak the truth and if nobody wants the maid the agent will have choice but to send the maid back. Let the agent and maid learnt their lesson.

[peapot]

Pardon my English I m using my iPhone to post. Small screen.