All About Autism

[windie]

ImMeeMee:

thanks for the good words. For me, it is hardly an enviable position, especially where I am a FTWM, especially where I need to travel frequently for my work (as I am doing now). it is a constant internal struggle for me everyday. sometimes I do go into a state of confusion myself on what i am doing or should be doing.

hardly enviable.

I'm sure it is not easy when you need to travel frequently, you have even lesser time for everything but I am sure you're doing the best that you can :hugs:

On many days, i also struggle if i shd continue working so i can do more for him in the day. But not working would also mean i wldnt be able to afford the therapies and learn the techniques to teach him. I'm sure many of us struggle esp when our kids really need more help

[schweppes]

Sometimes, I think it does not matter whether we are FTWM, PTWM or SAHM. Doesn’t make a difference, as either way, we will probably feel that whatever we are doing is never enough; probably wishing that we could do more.


I was thriving in my career when I finally decided to quit being FTWM. Coming to that decision was a real struggle. Really at the crossroads of my life. I gave up 3 promotions, a scholarship offer to further my post-grad studies in France and another invitation to do a PhD at Cornell Uni. My former boss, colleagues and friends thought I was mad to pass up on so many good opportunities. My husband was very supportive of whatever decision I undertake and his words each time to me were, "whatever you decide, don’t blame the kids."

Sometimes, I wonder about the choices I’ve made, but I don’t regret them. Deep down, I know I have made the right decision and there are no regrets. My family comes first.

I was fortunate that the organization I was working for was a family friendly one. So before I quit being FTWM, I tried all sorts of work scheme available to working moms. I’ve done the 1/2 time route, 2/3 time route but realized that it was not worth it. That’s because, I still put in full-time efforts even when I was on part-time scheme and only received the 1/2time or 2/3 time pay. So, not worth it.

In the end, decided that being the part-time working mom was the way to go for me. There’s bills to be paid so not working is not an option. And of course, I need my retail therapy to keep me sane (even going to the supermarket makes me happy), so definitely have to earn my own keep.

These days when people ask what I do, I tell them that I am an odd-job labourer. It’s true, since I take on odd-job assignments. I’m happier these days as I dictate my working hours even though I have my peak and lull periods at work.

Think what’s important is that we are all doing the best we can. I think if we all have a choice, we’d rather not work and be able to spend time to help our kids. But reality is that there’s bills to be paid and sometimes, a certain standard of living we want to maintain and indulge our kids in. So, we do what we can within our means and our abilities.

I still wish I can do more for my family but I know I have my limitations as well. Sometimes, I multi-task so much that I don’t know whether I’m coming or going. It’s very tiring with all the running around. But hoping and praying for a better tomorrow keeps me going.

[schweppes]

windie:

ImMeeMee:

thanks for the good words. For me, it is hardly an enviable position, especially where I am a FTWM, especially where I need to travel frequently for my work (as I am doing now). it is a constant internal struggle for me everyday. sometimes I do go into a state of confusion myself on what i am doing or should be doing.

hardly enviable.

I'm sure it is not easy when you need to travel frequently, you have even lesser time for everything but I am sure you're doing the best that you can :hugs:

On many days, i also struggle if i shd continue working so i can do more for him in the day. But not working would also mean i wldnt be able to afford the therapies and learn the techniques to teach him. I'm sure many of us struggle esp when our kids really need more help

So very true. It's a situation we all face. Must keep telling ourselves that we are all doing whatever we can to the best of our abilities.

[mashy]

Hi


My son got a preliminary assessment of high functioning autism by kkh. He will be going thru a psychological assessment and another consultation with Dr Lim. May I know if anyone here has been thru this. What else are required to confirm? He is going P1 next yr so they are also trying to speed things up.

[ImMeeMee]

schweppes:

Sometimes, I think it does not matter whether we are FTWM, PTWM or SAHM. Doesn't make a difference, as either way, we will probably feel that whatever we are doing is never enough; probably wishing that we could do more.


I was thriving in my career when I finally decided to quit being FTWM. Coming to that decision was a real struggle. Really at the crossroads of my life. I gave up 3 promotions, a scholarship offer to further my post-grad studies in France and another invitation to do a PhD at Cornell Uni. My former boss, colleagues and friends thought I was mad to pass up on so many good opportunities. My husband was very supportive of whatever decision I undertake and his words each time to me were, \"whatever you decide, don't blame the kids.\"

Sometimes, I wonder about the choices I've made, but I don't regret them. Deep down, I know I have made the right decision and there are no regrets. My family comes first.

I was fortunate that the organization I was working for was a family friendly one. So before I quit being FTWM, I tried all sorts of work scheme available to working moms. I've done the 1/2 time route, 2/3 time route but realized that it was not worth it. That's because, I still put in full-time efforts even when I was on part-time scheme and only received the 1/2time or 2/3 time pay. So, not worth it.

In the end, decided that being the part-time working mom was the way to go for me. There's bills to be paid so not working is not an option. And of course, I need my retail therapy to keep me sane (even going to the supermarket makes me happy), so definitely have to earn my own keep.

These days when people ask what I do, I tell them that I am an odd-job labourer. It's true, since I take on odd-job assignments. I'm happier these days as I dictate my working hours even though I have my peak and lull periods at work.

Think what's important is that we are all doing the best we can. I think if we all have a choice, we'd rather not work and be able to spend time to help our kids. But reality is that there's bills to be paid and sometimes, a certain standard of living we want to maintain and indulge our kids in. So, we do what we can within our means and our abilities.

I still wish I can do more for my family but I know I have my limitations as well. Sometimes, I multi-task so much that I don't know whether I'm coming or going. It's very tiring with all the running around. But hoping and praying for a better tomorrow keeps me going.

thanks for sharing, schweppes. My gut feel of an optimal point is PTWM, and because I have not attained that, I feel unsettled. I know myself that I am not a 24/7 mum. so doing part time to spend more time with dd3 and the rest, while keeping myself sane with some form of work to distract myself, and have some income to be self-sustaining would sound win-win.

plus the traveling that pulls me away from the family when they need me most, and the load of running various therapy sessions that falls on dh when I am not in town. i have tried talking to my boss to go PT, but so far things dont seem to be moving this way unless i decide to quit altogether and find some locum work ... sigh ... the struggles of having to go through this. I am losing my sanity.

[schweppes]

ImMeeMee:

thanks for sharing, schweppes. My gut feel of an optimal point is PTWM, and because I have not attained that, I feel unsettled. I know myself that I am not a 24/7 mum. so doing part time to spend more time with dd3 and the rest, while keeping myself sane with some form of work to distract myself, and have some income to be self-sustaining would sound win-win.

plus the traveling that pulls me away from the family when they need me most, and the load of running various therapy sessions that falls on dh when I am not in town. i have tried talking to my boss to go PT, but so far things dont seem to be moving this way unless i decide to quit altogether and find some locum work ... sigh ... the struggles of having to go through this. I am losing my sanity.

Hi ImMeeMee :hugs: :hugs:

u have pm

[mommsie101]

Hey guys,


Not sure whether u have heard about this woman called temple grandin. She’s very inspiring! She has autism but yet she revolutionalised the entire cattle industry!

[autumnbronze]

Hi Schweppes jie and ImMeeMee,


:hugs: to the both of you ....

[windie]

:snuggles: to ImMeMee. I can empathize w the guilt we have to live with due to work commitments. When I start feeling bad abt being at work for too long I pyscho myself that this job does pay for the expensive therapies that hopefully helps our kids get through this rigorous system.I hope u will feel better soon. 加油！

[sheryl]

mommsie101:

Hey guys,


Not sure whether u have heard about this woman called temple grandin. She's very inspiring! She has autism but yet she revolutionalised the entire cattle industry!

Heard my son's psychologist mentioned her. Recommended us to watch the show with my son. However, not all applicable to my son.