Small fish in big pond or big fish in small pond?

[Vevey]

sleepy:

Vevey:

\"Will his self-esteem be dashed if he goes from being top of the heap to being 30th in class, which may happen in a highly competitive school?\"


Would the outcome b any different if I had opted for a small pond for as long as possible? I only know I'm contented.

Interesting. Didn't realise there would be an impact.

I'm sort of a big fish in my ulu no brand secondary school. My O level was okay okay only but I received an outstanding achievement award for being among the top few in school level My brother did much much better than me in his O level. However, he was in a big pond & no one paid him any attention since there were many more who did even better.

With hindsight, I think being in a small pond may have helped in some ways, in developing confidence and self esteem.

I still believe in nurturing a child according to abilities. Hence a high ability/gifted child should be stretched. An average ability child (like myself) may thrive better in a small pond

Hence I always hv reservation abt going to sec sch by affiliation if the kid's result is not good enough to go thru the normal channel. Yes, there will b similar cases like him/her in the sec sch, but they r going to form the base.

Good if they can crawl their way to the top, but the probability? The alternative?

Having said that, I'm grateful for the strong language foundation & the opportunity to immerse myself in a strong Chinese culture that still stay w me until today. If that's e trade-off, I don't really mind.

[Funz]

For me, I prefer small fish in big pond. And no need to become a big fish just don’t end up being fish food can oredi.

[verykiasu2010]

Funz:

For me, I prefer small fish in big pond. And no need to become a big fish just don't end up being fish food can oredi.

too small a fish may become collateral damage when the big fish fight .... aka when elephant fight, the grass suffers

the teachers take care of big fish for kpi sake then the small fish how ?

so it makes sense given any fish pond, best to have all fish in the same pond be of same size....S, M, L, XL....etc

[jtoh]

Funz:

For me, I prefer small fish in big pond. And no need to become a big fish just don't end up being fish food can oredi.

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: Very good analogy!!

[jtoh]

verykiasu2010:

Funz:

For me, I prefer small fish in big pond. And no need to become a big fish just don't end up being fish food can oredi.

too small a fish may become collateral damage when the big fish fight .... aka when elephant fight, the grass suffers

the teachers take care of big fish for kpi sake then the small fish how ?

so it makes sense given any fish pond, best to have all fish in the same pond be of same size....S, M, L, XL....etc

True, but even within the XL fishes you have the big XL and the small XL, then how? Like in the top schools you have the top 3%, but some score 262 and some 280+. (Not that PSLE is the only indicator of ability).

[jtoh]

Vevey:

\"Will his self-esteem be dashed if he goes from being top of the heap to being 30th in class, which may happen in a highly competitive school?\"


That's what happened to me when I decided to go to a SAP sec school w my \"good\" PSLE score. Most of my pri sch friends w similar scores opted to go for a good neighbourhood sec sch instead.

Within e 1st week, I understood what is \"人外有人， 天外有天” as most of my new classmates were really v smart & competitive, w PSLE scores 10-18pts higher than mine. :oops:

I never become the cream of the crop again & it was a life-changing pt bcos being an Ah Q, I decided that there is more to life than grades & never work really hard again.

So even tho I managed to get into a good JC, a popular faculty in NUS, the honours class etc, I continue to enjoy life while not putting in more effort in my studies than it was needed.

Would the outcome b any different if I had opted for a small pond for as long as possible? I only know I'm contented.

Doesn't sound like you did badly for yourself. You did well academically and enjoyed life too. Sounds good to me.

[Vevey]

jtoh:

Doesn't sound like you did badly for yourself. You did well academically and enjoyed life too. Sounds good to me.

Thanks... looking at my peers, yes, the outcome could hv been v different if I hadn't blunted my competitiveness when in the big pond & always choose the easy way out since. :imcool:

[tamarind]

I went to a big pond, in fact, the top PSLE scholar was in my class. I was disappointed that the teachers were not great. Some were really nasty.


It really has nothing to do with big pond or small pond, self esteem, etc. The fact is that in the top schools, you get the same type of teachers as any other schools. You still have to depend on yourself to get good results, or get tuition teachers, so it does not matter which school you go to. It certainly is not worth pushing your kids to get into the top school.

The fact is that if a child who is not very academically inclined is pushed into the top school, she is going to be under a lot of pressure to keep up with others who can learn effortlessly. Recently I encountered an RGS girl who wrote a note "study or die" and pasted it on a window without grilles. I was quite sad to see this.

Even though I studied very hard, I actually enjoyed studying because I loved to learn. Kids who are pushed by their parents will lose their interest very quickly, and studying is going to be a torture to them.

[Chenonceau]

Funz:

For me, I prefer small fish in big pond. And no need to become a big fish just don't end up being fish food can oredi.

Funz, we are quite alike in many ways, it would seem.

I too prefer to be small fish in big pond. See... if you're a big fish in a small pond, you have fewer choices and opportunities. BUT you feel good about yourself.

If you are a small fish in a big pond, you have myriad choices and opportunities... BUT you can choose not to take them up. You have choices.

The top secondary schools open opportunities for travel, international competition, entrepreneurship, internships, professor mentorships that depend on organization-to-organization working relationships that lower tier secondary schools don't have (because they do not have the critical mass of good students to make cultivating these organization-to-organization working relationships worthwhile). However, ya won't feel good about yourself 'cos you won't be top dog. But that's easy enough to resolve... just don't make a big deal outta wanting to be top dog. It teaches humility and resilience to setbacks when you see you're never gonna make it to top dog.

I know a student who was admitted to Harvard 3 years back. Even for top students, getting into Harvard is almost impossible. Harvard takes in 1 or 2 Singaporeans each year. This fellow was in GEP and he was last in class much of the time he was there. Once he accepted that he wasn't gonna be anywhere else but last in his class, he turned his attention to making friends everywhere he went... he danced, choreographed dance (all sorts of dance) etc... and people liked him because he was humble. He knew how it felt like to be a small fish. BUT, the fact that he was in GEP RI made a lot of difference because he met different people, made different friends and had access to opportunities he would not otherwise have had.

Big fish in small ponds might actually die of shock and inability to cope if life throws them into a big pond. Small fish in big ponds have navigated all the dangers and developed some resilience and coping skills to survive at least.

Just my 2 cents.

[jedamum]

people tell me that arowana is a kind of fish that will only grow when the tank is of sufficient size for it to keep on growing. once the size of the tank is restricted, the fish stopped growing in size after some time.

the same can be said about being a big fish in a small pond.
but then, there is no saying that the arowana may not be happy swimming in his small pond/tank.