All About Full-Time Maids
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I pay her only up to the day she leaves my Hse. They will never appreciate if you pay more, so to me "why bother?"
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she wf me 4yr plus. shes gd to my othr two kids, only critical of my no. 1. start to b not so humble aft 3yrs. shes stil responsible n wks well aft knowg i releasg her. but she jus dont like my elder gal n i decided then i will let her go. eg in the morng she only turn on the light but doesnt really wake my gal up (my gal wil whine n may not listen, she thinks). i hv to wake my gal mysf
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24hr-mum:
she wf me 4yr plus. shes gd to my othr two kids, only critical of my no. 1. start to b not so humble aft 3yrs. shes stil responsible n wks well aft knowg i releasg her. but she jus dont like my elder gal n i decided then i will let her go. eg in the morng she only turn on the light but doesnt really wake my gal up (my gal wil whine n may not listen, she thinks). i hv to wake my gal mysf
Oh, kind of quite similar to mine. My eldest was quite difficult to be woken, and there was one time , she did not wake up for school until when I woke up and find her still in bed. Needless to say, she was late for school that day. My ex-maid just called her once and don't bother to make sure she actually wakes up. Good thing that she is ex now. My current maids, I make sure I tell them (and write down) what exactly they have to do. -
well, her salary is no issue - must pay. Anything extra - is based on your happiness. if you feel comfy with giving her extra, by all means go ahead. If you are not happy with her and don’t want to extend that, again by all means don’t give. Just do what you feel most happy with.
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i have never read this thread in my past four years of hving a maid, firstly i didnt know abt it even after i joined ksp, 2ndly, my maid was quite a good maid, i thot i didnt need to read this thread to guard anything.
but ironically the past 2 weeks i had started to read from page 1 (until p160 only for now, but will continue reading) after i am releasing my maid.
so far i count myslf blessed, cos my current and soon to be ex maid is my first and only maid. she was wif my godfather’s son for 7 mths until they migrated and since i needed one cos i was preggie wif no. 3, my dh thot of getting a transfer and recommended maid.
in her first two years, she was really good. we deemed her as the perfect maid. so much so my dh joked that we can gv her lifetime employment. she is 36, single, parents died, working just to support her younger siblings who has kids.
we treated her like part of my family, bcos we wanted her to treat my kids well and also i always thot maids are poor things. when she first came, she stayed in my 3rm condo store rm wf my things inside and no windows, just a fan, cos there is no other place already. my mil n bil stayed wif us. all my 3 kids slept wf me and third rm is just a study rm.
i let her read my newsppr in the morning (my mil was shocked) and actually she helped to ‘drive’ out my mil cos we werent in good terms and my mil felt the competition for my kids were even more intense after maid came. she started making unfounded accusations abt my maid and eventually moved out. so u see, my maid was my ‘saviour’. after mil left, i let my maid dine wif us at dining table. even then, and until today, she always eat only after she has fed my kids even if her rice already on the table.
it was generally problem free for us. she took care of my kids well and doted on my bb who is now 4. - i was sahm and now also. i can leave her alone wf my three kids.
i bought her presents for bday, xmas, gave cny angpow of $20, and when 2 yrs was up and i wanted to renew her, she was very happy and said mdm, if u want me, i wil work for u. we gave 50 increment and still no off day cos bb only 2 yrs old.
when we went hk in her first yr wf us, we brought her along cos dh say can take care of our kids. she was very grateful to us.
she started wif 350 and no off day.
she has hp whc she uses only at nite after work. her ex mdm insisted she sleep by 11pm as her ex md was a ftwm and wanted maid to hv energy to take care of her dd durg the day. -
now part two of the story:
when we renewed her after her first two yrs wf us, we had moved to a flat n gave her a rm (wf our things inside) but of cos its more spacious, got windows and she can close the door when she sleep. (she still sleeps on a flr mattress until this day.)
sometime last yr when i was negotiating to let her continue another two yrs when her contract is gg to expire in this yr apr, she took a long time to decide. at first i say no off day (cos dh doesnt want to let her turn bad), she asked, ad hoc can or not? stimes wanna go church event. then i said 3 times once, she then ask for mthly. eventually we settled on once in two mths. the reason she ask for off day is she wanna learn computer （that time i was thinkg learn now also outdated by the time she finished contract)…she said she was planning to work til my no 3 goes p2 ie in 2014.
u see, she is a loyal maid. before i released her i got my godma to tempt her over but she didnt want. not the first time.
but the problem is she started to be demanding and sometimes show black face tho its an occassional thing.
for past home leave, she paid for domestic bus ride herslf.
now, she ask for domestic flight too. actually she didnt ask, she just ask me chk the schedule and assume i will pay.
after i moved back to a pte apt in jun, she had to sleep in a store rm. after 1 mth, she asked me: u sure the things wont tumble on me during earth quake??
and she asked to sleep in living rm…also said sthg like she nvr heard of her maid friends sleeping in store rm before. (when she first came she slept in the store but no complaints)
but the main problem is she dislike my number one cos number one, just 8, has a number of flaws like any kids - whine, pampered, threw clothes here n there, forgetful, fight wif my no. 3. and stimes passed sarcastic remarks or scornful looks at her when my no. 1 makes mistakes…
her biasness is very apparent - on her off day she buys hair clips only for no 3, tho both no 1 and no 3 hv long hair. she only ties no 1 hair on sch days, but for no 3 every single occassion. she ever told no 1 cant drink the juice in the fridge cos must leave for no 3.
there was once my girl forgot to take out the snack box from sch bag for her to wash, she said she purposely put in another snack box to accumulate in the sch bag to make my gal realise her forgetfulness.
there was once i also found out she used my kitchen sink to sharpen the kitchen knife! since then i bought a knife sharpener.
she also started to read books when she has finished housewk and it is still too early to cook dinner. n stimes chk her sms on hp. i just close my eyes. u see, i nvr had other maids and so i always compare her current perf to her past performance…
u see, all these while i just tahan, nvr scold, nvr tell her off, i just treat nothing happen, there is even once she lost my no 1 when we went out together when dh overseas. no 1 was behind her (she nvr hold my no 1 hand, she only hold my no 2 hand while i hold no 3 hand) and when we went toilet by turning left, i saw her and assumed my no 1 was followg her. but i soon chked and realised no 1 missing. she still told me she thot no 1 followed me to the toilet. lucky i found my girl later on.
the last straw came one night my girl saw her swing her pe shirt and whistled and she thot my gal making fun of her. the nx morning she hid in the kitchen n refused to come out to tie her hair. on normal days actually she expect my girl to go to her to ask her tie hair but my girl dont bother.
i complained to my dh and he said just tell her my mil is coming to stay wf us and ask her dont come back after her hm leave. he wanted me to tel her the news alone and myslf. i decided that since i m not working and kids are bigger now, i will do without maid.
it was very stressful when i broke the news to her. her immediate reaction is ask for transfer cos she stil wanna come back to spore.
therafter i posted her release in the forum bcos she is generally a good maid. fast learner, knows the protocol of being a maid, - nvr went out wfout my permission, nvr let pple in, no bf (that i know of), no hanky panky, wont invade ur conversation wif dh, reliable, responsible, clean, independent, dotes on my no 3 esp, teach her do workbook, nvr wake up late, seldom sick, doesnt watch tv unless i turn on for my kids, bearing in mind i had nvr given her any official rules when she came
but maybe i hv low tolerance but i sensed she is too comfy wif me. she mentioned abt wantg to go cooking course, manicure course (to make $ i think）and also whr i got facebk or not, can add her sis acct. she also wanna buy computer before she leaves spore for good.
. even tho she has day off only in jun this yr, she has so good network of friends to help her find angmoh employer. i didnt know she so fussy abt employers until i posted her release…got one asking to take care of her mobile mum, just two of them, small flat, she also dun want. sigh…
so i know that we shd hv treated our maid just on a business relationship. over time they do ask for more. when they feel the job is so secure, they start to forget that we can alwaz send them off…
i believe when she goes to new plc she will be humble again cos she really want to make money and she nvr breaks her promise to return after hm leave. -
hiyahn 24-hr mum,
Just be happy that you got good help for the past few years. You had been blessed already. Actually I think she’ll try to make more money during her dayoff - else learn manicure for what? It is time to move on - for you and her.
Good luck with what’s coming up. -
Yes she is a smart one. being single and 36 (old already), must plan for herslf. its nothing wrong but its not within my comfy level.
she ever told me, the maid she knew in our ex flat, went to do part time during off days, and learn spanish also and eventualy went to work in spain. maybe some employers are ok wf their maids learng this n that but not for me. wat is the point of training ur staff so that they can leave u one day？not that we are gg to employ her for life too, but i certainly wont want her to learn how to use pc
and buy own pc, or use my pc when i m not ard. we dun even subscribe to newspprs cos i dun want her to read nowadays. imagine they read abt pr status in hk!
to me, surfg net in my plc is not acceptable becos they will use our wireless internet to surf for free. wat if one day i decide to terminate internet in my plc? she wont be happy. as wat one mum said, u treat them well, they appreciate but after a while they thot its our duty to do so.
this am my boy asked for his breakfast (he woke up unexpectedly early) and my maid asked him, cannot wait is it?? i told my boy next time wait for the bread to appear on the table. dont go kitchen to ask -
24hr-Mum, I sympathise with you but when it comes to learning new things I do also try to look at it from their perspective.
I have "lost" two very good maids who moved to Canada. Once they had made the decision, I gave them my support, supplied references, gave them time to go to the embassy, helped book tickets etc. Of course I would love to have kept them as they knew my household very well and, for the 2nd one, both my boys had been with her since birth but they have their lives to live as well. I am still in touch with both of them via Facebook and it’s great to see how much their lives have improved as a result.
If I have someone working for me in the office who decides to move on to better her career then I would support her in the same way. A maid is no different. -
true nms, very true. It’s good to see they thrive and live well. But then, I think such support should only be given to those who deserve it. If someone comes to your household and immediately expect this kind of support, won’t it be a bit bang? I have a household to take care, not a training centre to run leh.
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