All About Full-Time Maids
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Hi,
My current philippino has been working for me since Feb 09. Coming to 9 months now.
Well, she gave me a lot of headache and likes to tell lie.
She borrowed $$$ on her 8th working day. She cried loud and had severe homesick. I was very worried and helped to sent $100 back her country. She couldn’t concentrate on her work, always made cold milk for my baby, nap for one to two hours everyday.
I got a lot of nonsense from her, eg: argue with me a lot when asked her to do cleaning or housework. She would say why must do this. Just a little not clean, why you made a big fuss. And never forget to borrow $$$ again and again.
When my baby cried for milk, she took her own sweet time. I told her to see what happen to baby. she told me with food inside her mouth. Wait, let me finish my drink. i was very pleased off.
When we visited my in law. She passed the baby to me and sit down there once we entered the in house. Sign with me she wanted soft drink. I felt like gave her good slap. I ignored her.
I scolded her very fiercely and sent her to agency few times but she didn’t care at all. Untill lately, she sense the importance of earning money for her 3 young kids ,she changed a little bit.
She became better but couldn’t handle all by herself. She helped me to teach my son to do homework, read to my kids. This is the best part i like.
The rest is just so so. I got to open with an eye.
My 3.5 years old son just told me today that she beat him as my son made fun of her. I told my son stop doing it. He licked her leg. I told him it is not right to do so. My maid beat his tougue.
Will talk to my maid when i have chance.
She always tell lie. Things not done said done. A bit impatient. Luckily my parent is around. Otherwise it will be even worse.
Even i eye witnessed her did somethine wrong. She would still argue with me that she never did it. This is something that i can’t tolerate but have leant to accept it slowly. -
Charmaine_chong:
1/ Your maid set a bad example to your son to borrow money.Hi,
My current philippino has been working for me since Feb 09. Coming to 9 months now.
Well, she gave me a lot of headache and likes to tell lie.
She borrowed $$$ on her 8th working day. She cried loud and had severe homesick. I was very worried and helped to sent $100 back her country. She couldn't concentrate on her work, always made cold milk for my baby, nap for one to two hours everyday.
I got a lot of nonsense from her, eg: argue with me a lot when asked her to do cleaning or housework. She would say why must do this. Just a little not clean, why you made a big fuss. And never forget to borrow $$$ again and again.
When my baby cried for milk, she took her own sweet time. I told her to see what happen to baby. she told me with food inside her mouth. Wait, let me finish my drink. i was very pleased off.
When we visited my in law. She passed the baby to me and sit down there once we entered the in house. Sign with me she wanted soft drink. I felt like gave her good slap. I ignored her.
I scolded her very fiercely and sent her to agency few times but she didn't care at all. Untill lately, she sense the importance of earning money for her 3 young kids ,she changed a little bit.
She became better but couldn't handle all by herself. She helped me to teach my son to do homework, read to my kids. This is the best part i like.
The rest is just so so. I got to open with an eye.
My 3.5 years old son just told me today that she beat him as my son made fun of her. I told my son stop doing it. He licked her leg. I told him it is not right to do so. My maid beat his tougue.
Will talk to my maid when i have chance.
She always tell lie. Things not done said done. A bit impatient. Luckily my parent is around. Otherwise it will be even worse.
Even i eye witnessed her did somethine wrong. She would still argue with me that she never did it. This is something that i can't tolerate but have leant to accept it slowly.
2/ Another bad example by telling lies to you.
3/ Did your maid teach homework in correct way? Does she pronounce correctly by reading to your son? My opinion, better leave this task to you.
My daughter (4+) is taken care by my mother. Sometimes my wife complaints to me if she overheard my mother pronounce wrongly for some words when my mother read stories to my daughter. I think woman tends to be more particular about this kind of thing... :roll: -
Hi Funguy,
To my surprise my maid knows letter sounds very well. She learnt it with my son through Leapfrog letter factory. She taught my son letter sounds.
Yup. I have stopped her teaching my son READING but she will guide my son on counting and recognition of numbers, do maze & spot differences, letter writing, doodle.
I couldn’t stop my son picking up bad habit. He will have bad influence when entering nursery next year. In fact he pick up quite a lot from my dad. I tried my best to explain and tell him stop doing that.
For my maid, i just tried to cool myself. After she completing her contract a year later, i will go for maid-free.
This is my fourth maid and the most terrible one. I don’t allow my maid to have off day and handphone. I had bad experience with my ex-maids. -
Funguy71:
Funguy71, I agree with you that maids can be bad influence like this one that I have a dilemma with, DD1 is learning how to (1) answer back; (2) not respond when called because she sees that the helper gets away with it.
1/ Your maid set a bad example to your son to borrow money.
2/ Another bad example by telling lies to you.
3/ Did your maid teach homework in correct way? Does she pronounce correctly by reading to your son? My opinion, better leave this task to you.
Much as I try and close one and a half eye and stop telling off or shouting at the maid to behave and tow the line, its another thing that the kids see how the helpers get their way.
That thought through, thanks all for your input...yes, I shall save myself the heartache with this one... now is to decide if I should transfer her (and have someone else take over this :stupid: :stupid: helper or send her home to get her house in order). -
Do we have other alternatives beside getting a maid ?
Sigh… we work so hard to prepare for our kids future. Leaving our kids in the hand of maid and full day childcare. Are we doing the right things ?!
Knowing the cons of getting a maid but yet we’re in for it ! -
Hi,
We can get parents for help or send them to child care centre. I am not sure about the quality of child care.
I plan to send my children to child care once my maid completing her contract a year later.
Maid does help a lot. But i think part-time maid isn’t bad idea. -
puzzle:
Many full time working mommies have survived without a maid.Do we have other alternatives beside getting a maid ?
Sigh.. we work so hard to prepare for our kids future. Leaving our kids in the hand of maid and full day childcare. Are we doing the right things ?!
Knowing the cons of getting a maid but yet we're in for it !
Here is a good thread about how to survive without a maid :
http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?t=5331&start=0
It is going to be very tough. You must make sure that your husband helps out a lot. I know some husbands do all the house work, while mommies take care of kids. If your husband is the totally hands off type, then forget it.
Kids should never be left alone with the maid. Raising a kid is not only about feeding and cleaning him. The child is greatly influenced by the character of the caregiver. Can you trust your maid to have a good character ? Can you trust your maid to be able to teach your child the correct moral values ?
I am fortunate that my mother lives with me. She helps to take care of the kids, while the maid does all the other housework. This is the best arrangement.
For mommies who do not have any elderly to help out, then please put your child in an infant/childcare, this is much better than leaving the child alone with the maid whole day.
As mommies, we must be prepared to make sacrifices, one way or another. If we do't want to spend money, then be prepared to work very hard. If we cannot take the hard work, then spend the money to get a maid or get all the necessary tools to help us !
Of course there is always the option of quitting your job and staying at home to look after the kids. Believe me, it is definitely possible to give the kids the best education with very little money. You must be prepared to live without luxuries, unless the husband earns a lot of money. I know many mommies who gave up their job to stay home and look after the kids.
I remember reading an article in a magazine. A Daddy who earned very high pay, quit his job to look after his baby girl. He said : \"If we cannot trust our maid to drive our car, how can we trust our maid to take care of our baby ?\" -
Charmaine_chong:
Good that your maid learns along while teaching your son. Good job. :celebrate: Shd praise her.Hi Funguy,
To my surprise my maid knows letter sounds very well. She learnt it with my son through Leapfrog letter factory. She taught my son letter sounds.
Yup. I have stopped her teaching my son READING but she will guide my son on counting and recognition of numbers, do maze & spot differences, letter writing, doodle.
I couldn't stop my son picking up bad habit. He will have bad influence when entering nursery next year. In fact he pick up quite a lot from my dad. I tried my best to explain and tell him stop doing that.
For my maid, i just tried to cool myself. After she completing her contract a year later, i will go for maid-free.
This is my fourth maid and the most terrible one. I don't allow my maid to have off day and handphone. I had bad experience with my ex-maids.
You are right. We can't stop our child from picking up bad habits fr others while we are working. In fact, we may have bad habits too!
But if those bad habits don't really have bad impact on building their healthy characters, I think we can close one eye (while trying our best to correct them).
But, to me, borrowing money and telling lies are serious bad habits which we shd seriously look into the bad influence on our child! The best thing is do not talk/ discuss about your maid's bad habits when your son is around. Or use it to teach important value to your son.
Cheers. -
Hi Charmaine,
Part-time maid only do cleaning rite?
I need a part time maid who can fetch my twins (with my in-law who drive), bath and feed them (at my in-law hse).
Did call up few part time maid agency but they dun provide such services ! -
My Indo maid just came back from home leave. She just spoke to me asking if she can carry a handphone only at nite as during her recent visit back home, her cousins working in neighbouring countries wanted to keep in touch with her as well.
I told her that I understand that she wants to keep in touch with them and i think that is reasonable however, I cannot agree to her request :
1) If she only uses the phone at nite. Then potentially, she might end up sleeping later and potentially waking up late. So using hp at nite at her own free time is fine but when it becomes excessive, it will indirectly affect her work.
2) I don't want a situation whereby her hp usage is excessive at nite. I don't want us to reach a stage whereby I've to tell her to stop it. I told her I treat her as an adult and not like my kids. I don't want to tell her off and I am sure she will not be happy if I tell her off because of that. I don't want our relationship to end up like that (which potentially will with HP), so by being proactively, I cannot agree to the hp at nite only
3) She said if at most if I think she is skivving, we can deduct her salary. Again, I told her that this is very subjective. I dont' want to spend time tracking/ mtring if she is skivving. Similarly, she won't be happy if I deduct her pay or say her. Either way, we will not be happy. I am not happy that I've to think oh I must \"scold' her for this and that. I rather spend such time coaching my kids.
4) She said that her cousins called our house the other day and my fil wasn't happy. I told her that it's fine to stay in touch. But of course, it cannot be wow x no. of calls a day or spend 30 mins chatting,etc... Once a month and 10 mins or how are you etc... is still acceptable. I suppose we being the receiver only pay local charge? :?
5) Importantly, this was a rule from day 1 that \"no hp\". She know very well that I had so much problem with my previous maid of 5 yrs after she started to have a hp. She would spend 30 mins in toilet each time and very regular trips,etc... I told her we don't want to go through that that's why this was the rule from day 1. I also quoted my sil's maid, whose hp is kept at agent's place. I told her I trust her by letting her keep her own hp. She asked me if I want to keep. So it's like now she is betraying my trust.
Just wanted to share this.... Well, after our conversation, she passed her hp to me for safekeeping. I didn't ask for that.
I told her I wanted to be transparent and frank with her. I dont' want us to reach the stage of both of us being unhappy with each other. There is no point to continue then.
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