All About Full-Time Maids

[24hr-mum]

hi HWBW, in what ways is ur maid close to ur hubby? a good maid shd know the protocol - ie no proximity, physical or otherwise, to the sir. when we work, we also avoid being too close to our male bosses right?


hi minnie2004
Personally i would send the maid off if its my maid. In fact, my own maid after hving a FB phone, starting using it during the day in the pockets of time eg when fetching my kids, to the extent that she uses the hp when opening the door stil… while she is careful wf my younger kids cos she knows they are danger prone but she simply bo chap wif my elder one cos she thinks my elder one can take care of hersf but forget they are still kids cos my gal only 8.

when she bought i nvr restrict her cos i thot she will use it only at nite, and make her own friends. if she were to take photos of my hse, comment on FB abt my family, i certainly wont like it. its invasion of MINE privacy. to me, if the maid makes own friends without postg abt us, its ok but to comment abt us i dont like.
try complaining abt ur boss in FB and see if ur boss can take it.

u cant compare maids with our kids becos we pay these maids $$$ to work for us. they cant expect same privileges as our own kids, right??
dont forget, maids will leave where the grass is greener.

to me, i find ur maid is getting bolder. esp in liaising wif her friends. what if u had to cancel ur trip last minute? i bet she will blackface u bcos she cant meet her friends. try it to test her if u want.

there was once i let my maid go shopping when meeting my mum wf my kids cos my mum doesnt like the maid. guess what, one day she told me nx time let her know in advance that i m meeting my mum so that she can arrange to meet her friends at the same time when we let her go loitering. u see? we let her go out of kindness cos she didnt hv off day yet then, but she started asking for more. what if i m not meetg my mum last minute, u think she will be happy to cancel her appt??? i nvr try that but its poss that she will ask for time off by gvg some excuse that she has already arranged to meet her friends and got $ or impt things to pass them. right?

to me, even if the work is good but if the person is getting bolder, its time to let go if u can. what they do outside we cant contrl but so long they work for us, they must let us feel they are trustworthy and know the protocol.

also, u cant compare foreign workers with foreign DOMESTIC workers becos foreign workers DONT live in their bosses’ house! try let them stay in their bosses house and see if they can still do as what they like?

maids are different becos they STAY in our hse, eat our food, live with ourselves and children and are part of our lifestyle and affecting us not only in terms of cleaning the house.

so u cant compare maids with other workers. they are in a unique position cos they stay in our house…and of cos shd subject to our house rules

[Chu Liu Xiang]

24hr-mum:

hi minnie2004

Personally i would send the maid off if its my maid. In fact, my own maid after hving a FB phone, starting using it during the day in the pockets of time eg when fetching my kids, to the extent that she uses the hp when opening the door stil.. while she is careful wf my younger kids cos she knows they are danger prone but she simply bo chap wif my elder one cos she thinks my elder one can take care of hersf but forget they are still kids cos my gal only 8.

when she bought i nvr restrict her cos i thot she will use it only at nite, and make her own friends. if she were to take photos of my hse, comment on FB abt my family, i certainly wont like it. its invasion of MINE privacy. to me, if the maid makes own friends without postg abt us, its ok but to comment abt us i dont like.
try complaining abt ur boss in FB and see if ur boss can take it.

u cant compare maids with our kids becos we pay these maids $$$ to work for us. they cant expect same privileges as our own kids, right??
dont forget, maids will leave where the grass is greener.

to me, i find ur maid is getting bolder. esp in liaising wif her friends. what if u had to cancel ur trip last minute? i bet she will blackface u bcos she cant meet her friends. try it to test her if u want.

there was once i let my maid go shopping when meeting my mum wf my kids cos my mum doesnt like the maid. guess what, one day she told me nx time let her know in advance that i m meeting my mum so that she can arrange to meet her friends at the same time when we let her go loitering. u see? we let her go out of kindness cos she didnt hv off day yet then, but she started asking for more. what if i m not meetg my mum last minute, u think she will be happy to cancel her appt??? i nvr try that but its poss that she will ask for time off by gvg some excuse that she has already arranged to meet her friends and got $ or impt things to pass them. right?

to me, even if the work is good but if the person is getting bolder, its time to let go if u can. what they do outside we cant contrl but so long they work for us, they must let us feel they are trustworthy and know the protocol.

also, u cant compare foreign workers with foreign DOMESTIC workers becos foreign workers DONT live in their bosses' house! try let them stay in their bosses house and see if they can still do as what they like?

maids are different becos they STAY in our hse, eat our food, live with ourselves and children and are part of our lifestyle and affecting us not only in terms of cleaning the house.

so u cant compare maids with other workers. they are in a unique position cos they stay in our house....and of cos shd subject to our house rules

Let me just say something.

Making a comparison between the kids and the maid is, of course, different but the comparison is analogous in that they've a common base and that is to deny them of socializing.

The other similar analogy is between a foreign worker and the maid. Imagine a company boss needs to tell his workers (sometimes a few hundreds of them) not to use their handphones during working hours. Do you think it'll work? You and me also use our handphones during working hours too and most of the times for personal talks, no? It's also true that maids will leave where the grass is greener no matter how good we treat them. Don't you want to job hop even though your boss treats you well assuming you're a working person and the grass is greener on the other side?

My recommendation is for the poster to sit down, with her hubby, and the maid and work a way out to their problems rather than just firing the maid because of your bad experience. Why not give the poster a chance to work things out rather than adopt straight firing if the maid has not committed serious mistakes? Well, you can still fire the maid after the poster (and her hubby) has talk with the maid and things don't work out later, right?

:xedfingers:

[HWBW]

24hr-mum:

hi HWBW, in what ways is ur maid close to ur hubby? a good maid shd know the protocol - ie no proximity, physical or otherwise, to the sir. when we work, we also avoid being too close to our male bosses right?

:thankyou: 24hr-mum

My maid is good looking and soft, but her husband got a new younger girl friend, going to divorce w her, that made her quite emotional.
My hubby pities her and protected her very much, if she made mistake, he always stopped me to complain her, and that made us quarreled. I told him few times I hope he can keep the distance w maid. But they still became closer, many things my maid like to tell my hubby not me, even report to him.
Yesterday, after shower, when I walked out, I saw my hubby and maid stand very close, :stupid: which shocked 3 of us and triggered I want to send her back.
Am I unreasonable and ridiculers?

[bbsin]

Chu Liu Xiang:

minnie2004:

Hi all, i haven't been visiting this thread for a while but now i'm having a big headache with my filipino maid and need advice from you guys.


We found out recently she has a facebook account (although she specifically denied it when we asked her before). She even took pics of herself (fully made-up and dressed sexily) in our rooms and posted it there. And she seems to be online whenever i'm not at home. She also posted comments about us and disclosed the day she'll be leaving with us overseas for holiday. She is even liaising with her friends overseas to meet up (she made some friends there when we traveled there before).

I'm really p*ssed that she's lying to us and disclosing so much info online (she has 800+ \"friends\" on FB!!). This subjects us to the risk of robbery etc.

Is it very common for maids to have FB accounts nowadays? We are already very liberal in terms of letting her own mobile phones (she has 2 simple ones w/o camera functions, so obviously she secretly owns a 3rd w/ camera and internet functions).

Now i'm debating if i should
1) confront with her to ask her to cancel the FB account, which will definitely make her v unhappy; or
2) just send her back home. She's ok w/ housework and we also really need a maid but the trust issue is really bothering me. Is it too much for us to send her home?

Yes, maid these days are very socialable and good maid are hard to find.

Personally, I will make sure that she understand that no posting of any personal information about my family, she can use her facebook to contact with her friend. but she will only surf the net not in my home, when she is off and outside.

To me surfing net in my house when I am not around means that she is very very free...

When the maid starts to lie, even if she is good I will not use her anymore, cos the trust is not there dun know what she will do behind my back. if she can lie, she can do anything funny things behind our back...

Sex dressing.. big no no.. does it mean that she is trying to attract man??? And why is she making appt with oversea friend .. I would wonder how they know each other.. cos never know if it friend they know thru internet.. how u trust the other party??? Plus I am paying for her holiday .. what is this..

For the safety of my family... it's a big NO NO.

This is just my personal view.. really up to you to think carefully..

[bbsin]

HWBW:

24hr-mum:

hi HWBW, in what ways is ur maid close to ur hubby? a good maid shd know the protocol - ie no proximity, physical or otherwise, to the sir. when we work, we also avoid being too close to our male bosses right?

:thankyou: 24hr-mum

My maid is good looking and soft, but her husband got a new younger girl friend, going to divorce w her, that made her quite emotional.
My hubby pities her and protected her very much, if she made mistake, he always stopped me to complain her, and that made us quarreled. I told him few times I hope he can keep the distance w maid. But they still became closer, many things my maid like to tell my hubby not me, even report to him.
Yesterday, after shower, when I walked out, I saw my hubby and maid stand very close, :stupid: which shocked 3 of us and triggered I want to send her back.
Am I unreasonable and ridiculers?

I think you should think carefully...
I will not feel comfortable if my hubby and maid are so close..
yes, we all pity her..

this is just my assume, I might be wrong,
if the things are getting worse, the hubby and wife starts to fight / argument every time over the maid.. the family are not in harmony lovely as before.. Then you should really consider carefully is it worth to keep the maid and what will happen next.....

Man thinks differently, always thinks that woman are sensitivity.. Go with your heart..

I heard of maid who get into with the hubby... not that I want it to happen to you.. but just be safe than sorry!!

Good luck anyway.

[hquek]

Chu Liu Xiang:

The other similar analogy is between a foreign worker and the maid. Imagine a company boss needs to tell his workers (sometimes a few hundreds of them) not to use their handphones during working hours. Do you think it'll work? You and me also use our handphones during working hours too and most of the times for personal talks, no?

I would beg to disagree with this. When we are working, whether office/service, anyone who is using the hp excessively to the point of ignoring customers (internal/external) will most certainly face the sack. Also, if I surf net/talk late into the night until next morning I can't turn up for work (akin to maid not being able to wake up at a usual hour), then I will most certainly face bad feedback/complaints from my boss. In such cases, would I dare to give my boss blackface?? don't think so.

In that sense, it's the same. I don't mind to give mine some leeway; but if she were to use the phone most of the time, then certainly I would draw the line; and I think that's only fair.

Chu Liu Xiang:

It's also true that maids will leave where the grass is greener no matter how good we treat them. Don't you want to job hop even though your boss treats you well assuming you're a working person and the grass is greener on the other side?

very true, so I hold no illusions as to our relationship. No need to pretend I'm treating her as a daughter/sister - she's an employee. Period.

[HWBW]

:salute: bbsin

Maybe I am 扑风捉影 or 无中生有，I decided to send her back!
Thanks again for ur guys give me the valuable advice.
:thankyou:

[hquek]

hi hbhw,


I dont’ think you are being over suspicious. usually hubbies are the ones to hiam, or to ignore a maid.

When one gets too close, it’s a bit odd. yes, better to send her home, but do tread carefully in case something already happened with them(CHOY!). Eg, reason used may be that your kids are getting bigger and it’s not good for them to always rely on maid as crutch, yadda yadda.

I think maybe you gotta prepare if your hubby becomes defensive etc. All the best!

[minnie2004]

Thank you hquek, bbsin, chu liu Xiang and 24-hr mum for ur thoughtful advice! you have all presented different but valid viewpoints.


So it seems pretty common for filipino maids to have FB accounts then. That means if i hire another one, this will eventually be a problem. I'm really tempted to fire her but hubby wants me to think carefully before acting out of emotions. If we talk to her about her account and then limit her use, she might agree on the surface but no one knows what she'll do behind our back. There's only so much we can do to monitor what her posts online. Just earlier, our FB \"spy\" (a Filipino friend of my friend who befriended her on FB) told us she revealed our address (not sure if its full address or just the road name) to him even though they've never met before. Not sure if she's v desperate to meet guys :skeptical:

[hquek]

hi minnie2004,


Well, if she had revealed your address carelessly, then you have to think very hard. Either you impress upon her WHY she should not be revealing addresses and pictures of surroundings, or you change her.

I can just imagine baddies trawling the web and noting when your family is not in the house. Money gone, fine. But if they were to take note when you/hubby are not in the house, leaving only kids/maid, I’m sorry, but I’m quite paranoid.

Good luck with your decision. I understand that it’s hard to change from a good maid to an unknown.