All About Full-Time Maids

[beanstalk]

peapot:

That's true. My friend's maid even dare ask the ah ma at home what is Sir working as and says alot of maid like man like Sir. My friend send the maid packing. Don't know the maid is here to work or look for man?!!

The helper probably meant it as a compliment to the man of the house. I suppose she was sacked for other things; telling her to leave because of that comment alone is being over sensitive I feel.

As for revealing family whereabouts and details via FB or elsewhere, it is definitely a breach of privacy. The helper needs to be impressed that it is irresponsibile on her part. Just as we respect her privacy, she ought to respect ours. She has definitely crossed boundaries here.

[Chu Liu Xiang]

beanstalk:

peapot:

That's true. My friend's maid even dare ask the ah ma at home what is Sir working as and says alot of maid like man like Sir. My friend send the maid packing. Don't know the maid is here to work or look for man?!!

The helper probably meant it as a compliment to the man of the house. I suppose she was sacked for other things; telling her to leave because of that comment alone is being over sensitive I feel.

As for revealing family whereabouts and details via FB or elsewhere, it is definitely a breach of privacy. The helper needs to be impressed that it is irresponsibile on her part. Just as we respect her privacy, she ought to respect ours. She has definitely crossed boundaries here.

Agree with what you said for the 1st paragraph.

Reply to 2nd paragraph. Did the employer inform the maid of such upon the maid's employment or was it written somewhere inside the house rules as such? If not then can blame the maid?

[DesertWind]

HWBW:

24hr-mum:

hi HWBW, in what ways is ur maid close to ur hubby? a good maid shd know the protocol - ie no proximity, physical or otherwise, to the sir. when we work, we also avoid being too close to our male bosses right?

:thankyou: 24hr-mum

My maid is good looking and soft, but her husband got a new younger girl friend, going to divorce w her, that made her quite emotional.
My hubby pities her and protected her very much, if she made mistake, he always stopped me to complain her, and that made us quarreled. I told him few times I hope he can keep the distance w maid. But they still became closer, many things my maid like to tell my hubby not me, even report to him.
Yesterday, after shower, when I walked out, I saw my hubby and maid stand very close, :stupid: which shocked 3 of us and triggered I want to send her back.
Am I unreasonable and ridiculers?

Sorry, fire the maid straight-away. Your maid by confiding in your hubby is already emotionally close to your hubby liow. As for your hubby, man only. Women soft and crying....wah lau. Dunno what (or rather when) things can happen only. :scared:

It is just too bad.

As for replacement maid, make sure you get a fat, short and married one. Still no guarantee but don't shoot ourselves in the foot by getting a young and pretty one battle lose upfront liow.

[peapot]

beanstalk:

peapot:

That's true. My friend's maid even dare ask the ah ma at home what is Sir working as and says alot of maid like man like Sir. My friend send the maid packing. Don't know the maid is here to work or look for man?!!

The helper probably meant it as a compliment to the man of the house. I suppose she was sacked for other things; telling her to leave because of that comment alone is being over sensitive I feel.

As for revealing family whereabouts and details via FB or elsewhere, it is definitely a breach of privacy. The helper needs to be impressed that it is irresponsibile on her part. Just as we respect her privacy, she ought to respect ours. She has definitely crossed boundaries here.

Yes beanstalk, she was asked to go because of reasons related to her husband. Asking where the Sir working was one of the many things that she did to prove to her Mdm that she also wants to be the mistress of the house. They are Muslims. The maid firmly believe that the man can have 4wives but not my friend. She says she is a believer of one man one wife policy. She found her maid stuff a piece of thin inner garment inside her husband's pillow case. Casting spell?? I m not sure. Then weeks later, she said her husband order her to carry the barang barang while the maid carry the child. I guess she can tolerate no more.

[24hr-mum]

Chu Liu Xiang:

beanstalk:

[quote=\"peapot\"]That's true. My friend's maid even dare ask the ah ma at home what is Sir working as and says alot of maid like man like Sir. My friend send the maid packing. Don't know the maid is here to work or look for man?!!

The helper probably meant it as a compliment to the man of the house. I suppose she was sacked for other things; telling her to leave because of that comment alone is being over sensitive I feel.

As for revealing family whereabouts and details via FB or elsewhere, it is definitely a breach of privacy. The helper needs to be impressed that it is irresponsibile on her part. Just as we respect her privacy, she ought to respect ours. She has definitely crossed boundaries here.

Agree with what you said for the 1st paragraph.

Reply to 2nd paragraph. Did the employer inform the maid of such upon the maid's employment or was it written somewhere inside the house rules as such? If not then can blame the maid?[/quote]re informing the maid of rules on FB, well, must the employer spell out everything for the maid? a good maid shd be sensible. if she needs to be told, it reflects a lack of sensibility.

[contact12]

Hi HWBW, It is a wise move to send the maid back. I want to relate to you my experience of how a maid can cause conflict within the family. A few years ago, I had a maid who worked with me a week (without any problems) before my mother-in-law came to visit us from overseas. The maid pretended to be very frightened of me. When I was at work, she will feed my MIL with tales about how fierce I was and would cry in front of her. When my MIL requested to have fried rice for lunch, the maid said that she was scared that I would scold her and would only take instructions from me. The maid really made my MIL very sympathetic towards her. I really had it from my MIL who would blame me for frightening her and even scolded me in front of the maid. I really felt very wronged and also hurt that my MIL does not trust me even after so many years of being in the family. After her one week stay, my MIL gave money to my maid and strict orders that I was to treat her properly. Once my MIL left, the maid showed her true colours and she refused to work for me because the house was too big. She said she wanted a transfer immediately. So much for being timid. It really took a few visits to Singapore before my MIL realised that the fault did not lie in me because I could get along with the subsequent maids.

Therefore, if the maid causes quarrels in the household, remove her. You cannot choose your family members but you can choose a maid.

[24hr-mum]

DesertWind:

HWBW:

[quote=\"24hr-mum\"]hi HWBW, in what ways is ur maid close to ur hubby? a good maid shd know the protocol - ie no proximity, physical or otherwise, to the sir. when we work, we also avoid being too close to our male bosses right?

:thankyou: 24hr-mum

My maid is good looking and soft, but her husband got a new younger girl friend, going to divorce w her, that made her quite emotional.
My hubby pities her and protected her very much, if she made mistake, he always stopped me to complain her, and that made us quarreled. I told him few times I hope he can keep the distance w maid. But they still became closer, many things my maid like to tell my hubby not me, even report to him.
Yesterday, after shower, when I walked out, I saw my hubby and maid stand very close, :stupid: which shocked 3 of us and triggered I want to send her back.
Am I unreasonable and ridiculers?

Sorry, fire the maid straight-away. Your maid by confiding in your hubby is already emotionally close to your hubby liow. As for your hubby, man only. Women soft and crying....wah lau. Dunno what (or rather when) things can happen only. :scared:

It is just too bad.

As for replacement maid, make sure you get a fat, short and married one. Still no guarantee but don't shoot ourselves in the foot by getting a young and pretty one battle loose upfront liow.[/quote]get an OLD maid. one that's older than u?

[hquek]

Recall one I saw before. The previous one was too pretty or something and the hubby eye started roving. Mistress sent maid back and engaged the ugliest, fiercest one I’ve ever seen. No problems on that front after that.

[Chu Liu Xiang]

24hr-mum:

As for revealing family whereabouts and details via FB or elsewhere, it is definitely a breach of privacy. The helper needs to be impressed that it is irresponsibile on her part. Just as we respect her privacy, she ought to respect ours. She has definitely crossed boundaries here.

Chu Liu Xiang:

Agree with what you said for the 1st paragraph.

Reply to 2nd paragraph. Did the employer inform the maid of such upon the maid's employment or was it written somewhere inside the house rules as such? If not then can blame the maid?

24hr-mum:

re informing the maid of rules on FB, well, must the employer spell out everything for the maid? a good maid shd be sensible. if she needs to be told, it reflects a lack of sensibility.

If that's a general statement then what's the point of having house rules? House rules are a set of rules stated by the family for the maid to follow comprising of 'Dos & Don'ts' besides others, right? Not everthing needs to be spelt out to the maid but only those which the employer feel are important need be stated instead of depending on maid's sensibility, right?

If employers see the revealing of their house address and phone numbers as important don't you think it's better to be stated in the house rules? I do that so that the mentioned issues are made known, told to the maid and not abused.

:boogie:

[minnie2004]

We finally confronted our maid about her FB account. She still tried to deny so we asked her to log into her account and show us her photos. We deleted all photos taken in our house. I couldnt find the comments about us as mentioned by our Filipino friend though. I might have missed those as most posts r in Tagalog. As expected, i was the first on her block list so I couldnt search for her. So she was purposely trying to hide her account from me.


We told her its v dangerous to do such things on the internet and its a breach of our privacy. We warned her if she does this again she’s fired. We told her we didn’t care if she badmouthed us to her friends behind our back but we can’t tolerate it if she made it public to share w 800+ "friends". She was crying and stuff but I don’t think she really felt sorry about it. But at least she wud be more careful in the future dealing w our privacy.

To be fair, we never put it in black and white that she’s not allowed to have a FB account or not take pics of our home in the first place. So out of kindness, we r giving her a second chance. Meanwhile, I’ll draft a more comprehensive list of house rules for her to sign. We can’t assume anything anymore.