All About Full-Time Maids

[beanstalk]

What if you tell her you can help her work towards her goal of working for an expat? That is, she must learn many dishes and do things properly during these two years, ie generally make herself thoroughly dependable and indispensable. She can then get from you a glowing reference, which expats tend to depend on when picking helpers. If she jumps ship now, she might not be able to cope later and might end up being terminated.

[omgmum]

Hi beanstalk, maybe i'll have to paraphrase your suggestion. Tell her how useful the skills will be for her future. If i tell her that makes her more attractive to expat employers, she'll prob say sayonara to me b4 a year! Damn foreign competition! :rant:


She's a sharp one and has already picked up some chinese and cantonese phrases in her short time here. Now when i talk to my mum about her, i have to couch my words so that she won't know i'm speaking about her!

What i really don't like is how she tries her luck with my husband when she can't get her way with me. That is sowing discord loh... Very, very manipulative, cos my husband and i had a huge row over this.

[omgmum]

Thanks hquek and beanstalk for your suggestions! And just to be kiasu, here’s wishing every kiasu parent here a merry christmas and a happy new year in advance!

[hquek]

Hi omgmum, will pm you my contact. Agree that yours is very sharp. You have to be careful that she don’t backstab you, eg telling embassy you don’t give enough food etc. do keep evidence of what you yell her and what you give her. Will be in your favour if she put on weight during her stay with you.


Also, I don’t see why you have to pay for her phone calls. I only pay for the first couple of times. After that, if maid is automatic or controls her calls, I pay, and happily. If she yaks and yaks, sorry, she has to pay for herself.

[omgmum]

HI hquek, thanks for the warning. Yes, i better make sure i keep my a?$ covered to make sure that she doesn’t backstab me! The pro is she doesn’t seem to be putting on weight, even though she polishes off 2 to 3 bowls of rice. In fact when she first came, she even tried to go on a diet cos she used to be v plump!


Just to check, did any of your maids receive newsletters from MOM addressed to them? Was really surprised when i got a newsletter from mom addressed to the current maid.

[hquek]

Yes, MOM sends them regular newsletter, and it’s addressed to their names.


Hmm, you may want to think to take pictures, video and the likes. Just be careful around such people, I’m wary if they turn around to bite, it’s just so not worth the time if they chose to malign their employer. One story I heard was friend friend hubby accused of rape by the maid. He was eventually cleared, but not before losing his job.

[contact12]

This is what I have learnt from my years of dealing with maids: be totally in charge and keep the husband out. One of my former maids commented that she preferred to deal with my husband as he was the nice guy and I was the fierce one at home; that really freaked both of us out. After that incident, we agreed on a division of labour.Even till now, my husband rarely talks to the maid and instructions will be given by me.

[omgmum]

@hquek: i keep copies of my reviews with her. Maybe i should start saving the videos of my reviews too.


Oh dear, that poor guy! I wonder what happened to the maid. Was she jailed for making false accusations? Anyway, even if she was, she could just go home and start all over again. But that accused guy’s reputation will prob be tarnished forever. The stakes are just so much higher for employers.

[omgmum]

@contact12: i had warned my husband about the dangers of too much interaction with the maids before we hired the first one. Warned him about the dangers of maids crying wolf etc. Haiz, but does he listen? The maids speak in sweet and innocent voices, and shower him with warm smiles, and he thinks that they are poor innocent souls! :frustrated:


After the latest incident, i was v angry and told him to ask the maid to come to me for instructions. The next, he still entertained the maid when she went to him, although he was more stern. But still... :slapshead:

The maid knows that i am the one in charge cos i pay her salary and her work permit is under my name. But she is still cunning enough to try her luck. She used to only come to me for instructions, but after she realised that i won't budge on the rules, she changed and started approaching my husband.

And i think the maid next door is really a bad influence on her. Urgh, i hope the neighbours change her!

[omgmum]

Thanks hquek for the pm!