All About Autism

[chibi]

haha schweppes

Yes!!
i like chibi from Sailormoon
so cuteee! :oops:

i think after my daughter is diagnosed with autism, and hers attending numerous therapies, occupational therapy, speech therapy and social skills classes, i have made lotsa friends with pple from different walks of life, the therapists, her social skills classmates parents.
i believe that group support is very important, and even in this forum, we supporting each other is so important, it gets us going on.
i have a close frien that i share everything with her about my daughter, my daughter first day in primary 1, therapy sessions, and even her daily life, it helps to keep me sane too, like esp when my frien is saying , well done!! she is coping well in school\" or \" keep on going, she seems to be alot better now!\"
really motivates me, i guess what i need at times, is really to let it out and share with someone .of course at times, i will really break down and just cry.
i try not to cry infront of my gal, she wil come up to me and ask\" mummy why are you crying?\" have to hold back my tears and not to let her know that i am worrying about her.

[2ppaamm]

Reading posts on this thread reminds me of how difficult it was to cope with a special needs. I remember those days when my son was so unwanted. We jumped from one therapy class to another, one behavioral class to another. Not because we were not patient enough to see results. We were asked to leave the classes because DS2 didn’t belong to their groups.


Diagnosed with Asperger, but could read facial expressions and manipulate situations, so they told me he is definitely not autistic. He could keep good friends and made long lasting friendships. Sent him to behavioral classes, the therapist then thought it better he went on 1-1. Went for 1-1 for so many sessions. The therapists got fed-up because he refused to ‘open-up’, so she gave up our slot without even telling us. Found out only when we reached there (we were not late) and she was already conducting another session with another kid. She said she’ll call us to make another appointment, but never did. Our behavioral classes ended like that, twice. I figured counselors and therapists want to see results too, and perhaps they saw no use in giving sessions to my son because they themselves believed he was beyond hope. There were better clients to take, and a long queue to fulfill. The OT also discharged my son after some sound therapies (the only thing that helped him improve).

On top of that, DS was so upset attending all these therapies, he hated going to these places where people all looked at him with judgmental stares. When he got angry, the maid at the waiting area pointed at him and said, "He’s here for anger management." When actually her charge was licking DS’s ice-cream, and wouldn’t stop after DS asked him to a few times. This boy would jump everywhere and lick DS’s ice-cream, drink DS’s milkshake or strangle DS. He used to have to wait alone because I had to fetch other kids. We couldn’t find another slot. He was so afraid of that boy, and I hated the maid’s killer stares.

He was also scared at the waiting area, when this other really big-sized teenage boy would scream and shout out of the blues. He told me he really didn’t think he was mentally ill himself because he just couldn’t understand why he was there. So he waited outside the centre so that he need not look at the maid, have some privacy to his fries and ice-cream, and avoid this huge, shouting boy.

I think it is important to ensure the right therapies and diagnosis is done. Though I agree by being diagnosed, there are some ‘privileges’, unfortunately for my son, he was given none. We asked for exemption of assembly, but was not given, because the school wanted him to ‘do everything like everyone else’. Thing is, he couldn’t. Not sure if it was Dabrowski’s overexcitabilities or SID, school chooses who they want to accommodate. For our son, because he was very capable, he was not excused for anything.

In our society, I have learnt that it is sometimes better to be an underdog, at least people lend you a listening ear and act sympathetic. For my kids, because they are cognitively not inferior, people expect more. While other kids are forgiven for using words (at P3) that have too deep a meaning, and given the excuse that they probably did not understand the meaning, my son was labeled dangerous for using the same words because he was ‘too smart not to understand the meaning of those words’.

People forget that being exceptionally bright is also special needs. They need to handle overexcitabilities and sensitivities as well. While it is easier to accommodate kids who display academic difficulties, our society automatically associates academic excellence with capabilities in every faculty. I found this so unfair. A child is not the traditional ‘special needs’ and bright does not mean he is perfect. People forget that.

I found relief when he was discharge of autism and SID. He never had it, and we went in circles going for classes trying to fix these to no avail, and he was nearly into depression. I should have asked for a second opinion before jumping and finding solutions to his diagnosis. We were also accused by the principal for not fixing his problems, because the P believed he should attend daily and intensive therapies. Well, the school did not believe when I told them there were no such daily therapies., of a few hours a day available.

Now we find freedom in pursuing things beyond what we expect, rather than trying to fix what he is short of. Maybe he is not perfect, and maybe he really has a bit of autism. But now that we no longer focus on his weakness but his strength, and now that there’s nobody who picks on everything he says and does, he suddenly acts and seems normal.

[mashy]

2ppaamm


When my son first attended kindergarten, I felt really demoralized. That's before we got therapies and way before the diagnosis. His teacher complained about him everyday. The principal did the same. When another boy stroked his cheek and he got irritated, instead of telling off the other boy, the teacher said it's my boy's fault and that he didn't like anybody! When they wanted to demote my son to a lower level, I decided enough is enough and changed his school. All these while, they too failed to focus on his strengths (like being advanced academically and being able to read while the rest of his friends are still learning abcs) but instead kept focusing on his weaknesses. So so glad I found another school for him. While the other sch also highlighted his weaknesses, they were more accommodating and he stayed on till the end of kindy last year. He has blossomed so much. And while he didn't try to be friends with his classmates, his classmates tried to get into his world. They cheered him and encouraged him. So I believe, a good environment really plays a part. Good supportive teachers and good friends. I must really thank God for it. Now I hope he will find his place in his pri sch and able to blossom too.

I think someday, he will meet some crappy teachers and i hope that won't mean the end of the road for him. Although I think that he will also benefit from an overseas education or simply going to an international sch, we can't afford it. There is no alternatives for us except to go with the flow. Altho I think my son is bright, I don't think he is so exceptionally bright until can get a scholarship type.

Btw, does your son like to write? My son hates it. Sigh.

[2ppaamm]

Hi Mashy,


My son loves to write, and he writes really well. He has to write long essays as part of the requirement for his studies and they end up with full marks (unlike here, it is possible to get full marks in an overseas system). He can write a whole essay of 1000 words about why 1+1=2. And it involves associative laws etc. Quite fun. He wrote an essay using Greek as well. Recently, he shocked me by writing to his friends in Spanish ?! But it is all fun, it just shows his creative ways of using the translator. Ha ha!

If I ever have the opportunity, I want to be able to develop a learning system for kids like my son and kids here on this forum. And I am spending quite a lot of resources doing R&D on this now. My hope is that we can create a world where it is ok to work at a different pace academically and still belong, fast or slow. And it is ok to be different emotionally, socially and the way we interact.

It was a difficult decision to homeschool this kid. I was so afraid he will lose the opportunity to socialize. But I look at schools and I cringe because of his experiences. Schools are not a natural environment if you think about it. Honestly, I don't think I can ever be a student in our Primary or Secondary schools. The environment is noisy, the teachers are inconsiderate, the principals watch their KPIs primarily, and everyone is looking to be mediocre, excelling in what they are told to. This does not replicate the 'real' world.

The real working world, even in the universities, is where people respect each other, we speak quietly (and not condescendingly), we reason out, no matter what seniority and no one talks down to anyone in the way teachers talk to us. They can feel superior but they are at least polite. If not, we can tell them off nicely. And, excellence is doing what is great, not what people tell you to do. That is why I stop worrying about him missing school. Also, social skills can be picked up in sports, with small groups of genuine friends and family. In reality (at least for me), we have many acquaintances but just a few friends. Therefore, I decided not to struggle to help him integrate into an unreal learning environment, which is not useful in future, anyway. That few friendships are probably more worth keeping and nurturing than learning to cope with a classroom full of chaos (to him, anyway). This chaos will end at the end of JC2 or Poly, never to be repeated even in the U.

I am still not sure if what I'm doing makes sense. There are just so few examples in the world to learn from. I write to people, interview early entrants, meet folks but everyone is just so different. And that's the key: every of our kid is different, more different than the typical kids in school who cope naturally. Therefore, as parents to special kids, we are called to put in the extra effort, the extra hours. One day, we'll taste the fruits, which will be sweeter. I smile every time I put these thoughts into my mind. I started researching on very different people, from Einstein, to Steve Jobs, to Gates to Mozart and our own LKY. None had normal childhoods. Afterall, if they are normal, how can they do extraordinary things? And I refuse to let anyone douse my hope.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oAB83Z1ydE][/youtube]

[specialboymum]

Hi 2ppaamm,


Thanks for your post. It does cheer me up a little and give me hope. It is not easy to stay emotionally strong when we have to bear with the complaints from teachers almost every day. I guess I have to learn to see the positive side of him despite his negative sides are been constantly highlighted. He is pretty intelligent and have photographic memory. He memorized the whole singapore road map that now he is our walking GPS. He can tell us how to get from point A to point B (including details like which expressway to take, which exits)

I'm not quite sure if my boy is like yours as he isn't able to tell me what is going on in his mind, therefore I have to keep playing the guessing game. I admire you for taking the decision to homeschool him.. This thought came to my mind several times, but I never dare to raise this up to my family. First of all is the money issue, we can't afford to go single income, 2ndly my husband thinks that it is not healthy if I just devote all my attention to my kids.

Hi Schweppes,

I think my boy is having sensory overload problem.. I have increase his 'sensory diet' daily.. I even make him run around the park every evening.. but guess it will take a while to see effect.. but I am not sure what can we do now to prevent or stop him into lapsing those undesirable behavior..

chibi:

haha schweppes

i believe that group support is very important, and even in this forum, we supporting each other is so important, it gets us going on.
.

I agree. As much as I hope to get advices on the problem I faced now, I'm more than willing to give my 2 cents worth of help/advice on issues that I have faced and overcome in the past.

I was rather active in other forums such as shoulders.. but one problem with such online support group is that after a while the traffic dies down..

KKH also attempted to form a parent support group since they have the data base. They called me up some time late last year for their first meeting but only 4 parents, including myself, turned up. They have not arrange for 2nd meeting yet.

[DesertWind]

Anybody read that Straits Times article couple of days ago saying that in the U. S they are going to revise the criteria for ASD diagnosis due to an explosion in diagnosis in the U.S and worldwide? It was felt that the criteria now is too wide and they need to be narrowed down. They are also going to get rid of "Asperger" and another labels and lumping all just under one category of ASD.

[Audvis]

Hi,

Yes, I have read that article. But I feel that whether my son will get diagnosis of ASD under the new criteria is immaterial. The fact that he has difficulties with social communication and interaction, plus eye tracking problems, remains. The new criteria will not take away these problems from him.

[ImMeeMee]

Dear friends who wrote in with encouragement after my post, thanks once again for your support.


Just wanted to let you know that I am in the midst of swimming back to the top. The CNY break was timely to give myself some breathing space, and now that things are back to normal, its time to get back on track and continue to tough it out.

I salute the mummies whose kids are starting school, and the battles that you are fighting. You are emotionally so strong and I hope I can be like you when it is my turn.

I am still pushing for a few things to happen, including spending more time with dds, and I resolve to make it happen this year. That which does not kill us will make us stronger.

To a new year.

[Cathy Wu]

I had students diagnosed with Autism.

Physically, you won’t see that they’re mentally challenged, but once you get to talk to them, they tend to be different from the average students.
Some children with Autism are non verbal. This means that you need to use a new method to be able to communicate with them. Sign boards and cards can be used to talk to them.
Teaching children with autism how to communicate is essential in helping them reach their full potential. There are many different approaches to improve communication skills in a child with autism.
Others enroll their children with Autism in a speech therapy to improve their speech.

[mashy]

Just got the psychological report from the child dev. His IQ is so wide ranging that they can’t give him the FSIQ score or whatever scores. Can only go by category and each one range from below average to highly superior.


He is given exemption from MT. Anybody here who took the exemption? What will that mean in sch? I understand that they will still attend the class and do tests and exams just that it is not needed in PSLE?