How to tell if a child is gifted?
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antebellum:
I'm afraid I have to step in here. There is such a thing called twice exceptional. As much as they are gifted, they also have disabilities. With my son having hfa and at the same time with a high iq, I have realized that there are times when even the gifted misbehave. In fact, many create a lot of problems and it is not becoz the parents have not done their part in teaching them character development. It is thus wrong for u to attribute all bad behavior of a gifted child to bad parenting. Before u point fingers at the parents when u see a misbehaving kid, think first if the kid has special needs. It is highly possible a highly gifted kid is also special needs kid. Perhaps your kid is gifted and teachable. Then thank your lucky stars. Becoz many are at a loss sometimes what to do with their twice exceptional kid.
You are focusing too much on the ability of the child. I am talking about character development. If parents do not tolerate any bad behaviour from a child, and discipline him regardless of whether he is gifted or not, then he may not have any behaviour problems. It is because parents are in awe of the abilities, so they allow the child to
I totally do not buy the idea that any child can be so gifted that they cannot develop good character.
I am thankful that my child is teachable. He is mostly well behaved and pleasant. But I do come across others who face challenges everyday. And these parents have really done a great deal helping their kids in every way. -
antebellum:
You are focusing too much on the ability of the child. I am talking about character development. If parents do not tolerate any bad behaviour from a child, and discipline him regardless of whether he is gifted or not, then he may not have any behaviour problems. It is because parents are in awe of the abilities, so they allow the child to continue to behave badly.
I cannot agree to generalize like this. Are we talking about children? Are we talking about gifted children?2ppaamm:
[quote=\"antebellum\"]
As for personality flaws, I believe it is because parents do not put in efforts to develop good character, just because they think that the child is special, so they tolerate his bad behaviour. It has nothing to do with whether the child is gifted or not.
Gifted children are gifted because they have heightened sensitivities. They are more sensitive to the environment and hence they learn faster. There are also many levels of giftedness. Commonly the top 2% are considered gifted. Though in Singapore, MOE classifies top 1% gifted.
Top 1% are considered moderately gifted or gifted. These children fit best into the school environment. The adapt well and learn fast.
Beyond this, there are those who are highly gifted, exceptionally gifted, and profoundly gifted. These children are known to have problems fitting in most school systems. Many classify them as behavioral issues. I'd rather say they are issues related to their sensitivities BECAUSE of their giftedness. Hence, highly gifted children are very hard to raise, they complain about things others don't see (sunlight too bright, too noisy, clothes too pricky, too dusty etc etc) They also hear things we don't, it's going to rain, daddy is coming home in 2 seconds (they can hear his car), why are talking behind me across the pool? You smell like your body oil, you just dropped two eye lashes.
They are a misunderstood lot. Many parents to highly gifted children do not know that their children are gifted until much later, to be able to spoil them thinking they are smart. In addition, look at the child's siblings and you will know the upbringing style. It is not fair to just conclude that all gifted children who behave differently are spoilt because their parents.
I remember watching this Cantonese movie when I was young, called 十兄弟, all of them have special skills. Being highly gifted is just like this, you see and hear things people don't and when a small gifted kid tells you, or cannot handle the overload, they act out. More reading will help you understand these folks more.
A gifted child is useless if he does not know how to interact with people less gifted than he is. Parents should really focus on character development instead of his academic development.
You heard about 十兄弟, but do you know :
“四维”（礼、义、廉、耻）“八德”（忠、孝、仁、爱、信、义、和、平）?
These are the traditional values of Chinese culture, but how many parents in Singapore are teaching their kids these values ?
I totally do not buy the idea that any child can be so gifted that they cannot develop good character.[/quote]
You are right. Perhaps you have wonderful ways of imparting character to your children and I rest my case. And all kids who behave badly do so because their parents are in awe. All the best! 
不知者不怪。
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mashy:
Share this with you. http://www.sengifted.org/archives/articles/misdiagnosis-and-dual-diagnosis-of-gifted-children
I'm afraid I have to step in here. There is such a thing called twice exceptional. As much as they are gifted, they also have disabilities. With my son having hfa and at the same time with a high iq, I have realized that there are times when even the gifted misbehave. In fact, many create a lot of problems and it is not becoz the parents have not done their part in teaching them character development. It is thus wrong for u to attribute all bad behavior of a gifted child to bad parenting. Before u point fingers at the parents when u see a misbehaving kid, think first if the kid has special needs. It is highly possible a highly gifted kid is also special needs kid. Perhaps your kid is gifted and teachable. Then thank your lucky stars. Becoz many are at a loss sometimes what to do with their twice exceptional kid.antebellum:
You are focusing too much on the ability of the child. I am talking about character development. If parents do not tolerate any bad behaviour from a child, and discipline him regardless of whether he is gifted or not, then he may not have any behaviour problems. It is because parents are in awe of the abilities, so they allow the child to
I totally do not buy the idea that any child can be so gifted that they cannot develop good character.
I am thankful that my child is teachable. He is mostly well behaved and pleasant. But I do come across others who face challenges everyday. And these parents have really done a great deal helping their kids in every way. -
phankao:
Yes, it's interesting for us too. But so far, I don't observe anything outstanding. haha! Not like some kids that can multiply and divide and add big numbers.
Just 3. It'll be interesting to watch how he develops.jtoh:
[quote=\"phankao\"]
No, my 14yo(actually he's just turned 15) and my 12yo couldn't read until they were in P1.
The one that can read at 10mths old is now 3yo.
He can play the piano and violin, but I personally think most young kids that age can given the exposure and proper guidance - seen so many on youtube![/quote]Hello, not most young kid, but only very few. And, I think that being gifted does not mean only academic. Your #4 is a talent, I must say, and must be really cute to watch as well! -
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antebellum:
This thread is for parents to discuss about their children's giftedness. Not everyone is bragging. If you would like to discuss about how to develop a good character, perhaps you can start a thread on this, or be familiar with other threads parents have contributed which discussed about this. There are plenty. It is not fair to say that parents who 'brag' do not teach their children simply because they do not say it here. That general assumption again is very unfair. And, to answer your question, I have worked with 2000 students to date. I continue to work with 400 per year, all top 10% of the country. I mentor about 20 personally into their adulthood. How about you? And how familiar are you with giftedness? How familiar are you with education for gifted children? Perhaps you can enlighten us here, so that we can all learn from you. Maybe there's something we miss out, and I'll humbly learn. But putting general remarks and quoting standard 弟子规does not help us forward.Now that parents can afford to send their kids to see psychologists, it is easy to label them with having disabilities, disorders, etc. I remember reading someone wrote that her gifted child was misdiagnosed with asperger syndrome. Can you really trust the so-called experts ? Parents can always find all sorts of excuses. For those parents who claim that you know about gifted kids, how many gifted kids have you worked with, besides your own children ?
Remember this : 养不教,父之过.
Every parent came to this thread to brag about their kids' giftedness. How many parents actually talk about how to develop good character ? For those who parents who do not know how to do so, are you even interested in learning ?
By your definition, many geniuses have poor parents, from Einstein, to Leonardo Da Vinci, to Richard Branson and yes, to even LKY (and his mother stepped in, like many parents on this thread). Aren't we all curious why all these geniuses have 'behavioral' issues when young? It is important to know why so that our country's best resources can be best identified and nurtured. It takes a lot of effort and resources to bring out the best in a gifted kid, it takes patience, and it takes a lot of understanding. It is simply so much easier to just point the fault to their parents. So much easier. -
How come people are talking about character building in this thread?
gifted or not, a child is a child, need to be disciplined right? :? -
smurf:
How come people are talking about character building in this thread?
gifted or not, a child is a child, need to be disciplined right? :?
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2ppaamm:
smurf:
How come people are talking about character building in this thread?
gifted or not, a child is a child, need to be disciplined right? :?
:hi5: -
Of course all gifted kids need to be disciplined. Just that a tantrum from a child doesn’t meant the parents haven’t done their part. Simply becoz a kid misbehaves doesn’t mean the parents didn’t teach. And not knowing doesn’t mean they haven’t tried or learnt.
There are ill disciplined kids and they don’t even need to be gifted to be so.
Feeling that there is such a poor awareness among those without special needs kids. And there’s a total lack of empathy. Will these raise a bunch of good disciplined elitist kids with no empathy for others? Sad case. Until u have a special needs kid then u will realize that there are some things that you can’t control. And not everyone is seeking a label. U think it feels good when the dr tells u that you have an autistic kid? Woe to u for thinking that way!
2ppaamm
I also hope that there’s a mistake and he will ‘outgrow’ it. I’m doing all I can now to equip him properly. His IQ test was a mountain range. Hahaha. They couldn’t even give him a proper score for it. Thank God he has a mild temper so still easy to manage just that his quirkiness can get in the way sometimes.
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