Worried parents taking children to psychologists

[autumnbronze]

ksi:

LadyInBlack:

Well said! cos my teacher frens rely on tutors themselves to handle their kids studies! and i know that they have so much of time restrictions in coaching their children.
N true!! pple do forget that when a child is labelled as slow..it hits the childz self esteem the most!! I have to keep encouraging my own kids to keep up their good work!

When I say they \"teach\" their kids ahead...I do not mean literally the teaching is done by themselves. They have to rely on other tutors because a teacher is not an expert in ALL subjects, so they have to outsource of course!

Then in that case, they are acting in a capacity of a Parent, just like any Parent, whether they are teachers or not.

[buds]

toddles:

this is actually the first thread I'm reading abt teachers in a while...

Shows you've been gone awhile...

PS. Hope you and the babies are well. :hugs:

[corneyAmber]

Musings:

The truth is many parents (even the not gancheong ones) will panic after reading what the kids of KSP parents can do at age 3, 4, 5...and unsubconsciously use that as a benchmark for their own kids. If their own kids fall short, they then send to enrichment classes to achieve what they deemed is the 'norm'. At the end of the day, parents have to be conscious that they should callibrate the learning of their child against the child's abilities/maturity and not other kids.

I was surprised that many kids of KSP parents are not just reading but reading long chapter books like Charlotte's Web by K2. I must admit my son can't do that at P1 - even though he may be able to read the words but he does not have the maturity/attention span to follow the plot through. I had to exercise great restraint not to push him beyond what he is ready for despite what other kids may be achieving at his age.

I agree the with comments in bold. Unrealistic benchmarking creates anxiety. And yes, at K2, reading Charlotte's Web and reading Charlotte's web WITH UNDERSTANDING is 2 different matters altogether. So when we read in KSP, we need to filter the information applicable to us. It does not mean some kids can do some things, it would mean ALL kids must do that thing by the same time. So I always advocate know your child well and work on your child's own competency sufficiently to enable them, not to rank them.

[buds]

autumnbronze:

Then in that case, they are acting in a capacity of a Parent, just like any Parent, whether they are teachers or not.

:goodpost:

[michyms]

ksi:

I agree the with comments in bold. Unrealistic benchmarking creates anxiety. And yes, at K2, reading Charlotte's Web and reading Charlotte's web WITH UNDERSTANDING is 2 different matters altogether. So when we read in KSP, we need to filter the information applicable to us. It does not mean some kids can do some things, it would mean ALL kids must do that thing by the same time. So I always advocate know your child well and work on your child's own competency sufficiently to enable them, not to rank them.

musing/ksi, I agree with you. When I read about what other kids could do, I have to admit I went to the library to borrow Charlotte's web for my K2 girl. But when I thumbed through the book, I know that although she may be able to read the words, she does not have the mental or emotional maturity to grasp the plot. So instead, I chose for her other chapter type books which has a easier plot. By the way, Charlotte's web is actually filed under books for 10-12 years old in the library.

[corneyAmber]

autumnbronze:

You have misread my tone and my post ksi.

I am definitely not upset. NEUTRAL yes, but not upset. And it seems that I may not be the only one.

Yes, you can't help your experience, but isn't it strange that you almost
always have a similar experience to share .....and don't you think there's
been enuff talk on teachers??

I don't quite understand what you mean, if my experience is there, it will just surface when I see it relevant and again, I am not critising the teachers per se. I am looking at an interesting phenomenon amongst my teachers friends.

In any case, it is disconcerting to me that teachers by profession who know the system well worry so much about their children's survival in the system as parents, isn't that something to note? Then we cannot blame non-teacher parents for worrying more. Title is \"Worried parents.....\"

Also, the other phenomenon resulting in this first worry is after over-preparing the children ahead so much, the children became bored in class, resulting in issues and psychologists have to be brought into the picture, then the second worry comes about. Now what I see is a vicious cycle. Of course there are cases whereby the children are really born with some issues to be addressed. Given so many bored children in class these days, I gathered some of the problems are created by over-preparation by anxious parents. I don't have the solution and I reckon this will just go on for many decades to come.

[buds]

ksi:

Has anyone noticed? The most gan cheong or worried parents are usually teachers so they teach their kids many years ahead...

Wah leow..

Blanket statement leh..

ksi:

...and the kids become advanced kids....then they become bored in class.....then they have issues.........

:shock:

ksi:

then....... Amongst my teachers friends, it is 100% true.

:faint:

autumnbronze:

Strange ..... Among my teachers friends, many of their kids are with maids, student care or parents/in laws cuz they work long hours. Some of them don't even see their kids on weekdays, only on weekends.

Yeh boi.. they're super bumped with work.

autumnbronze:

In fact, taking leave to coach their kids is unheard of too.

Duh. Of course. Want to take leave when sick already so problematic.
Even when they are so really sick, parents think otherwise. :siao:

autumnbronze:

Anyway, it's getting really annoying to read generalizations (negative) about teachers in almost EVERY thread.

:snooze: Tell me abt it.. :roll:

autumnbronze:

I do understand and emphasize with forummers who genuinely have issues (you know who you are), but other than that, let's just focus on GENUINE discussions and not start a mass negative ranting session about teachers, yet again. We have more than enough threads for that.

One bad egg in the basket, doesn't imply all the rest are.
I have a lousy MP but does that mean all the rest are...
Ok, mebbe wrong example to give!

autumnbronze:

BTW, I do have an issue with my DS1's preschool teacher, whose recent actions have shattered my son's self esteem.

Us too babe.. us too.. :snuggles:
We are talking human industry here, not robots.

autumnbronze:

I am also sure that there are parents, regardless of what occupations they hold, are guilty of over preparing their kids ....

Yep. There sure are awwrite.

ksi:

Do not need to be upset autumnbronze, I have qualified that 100% of my teachers' friends are like that. I cannot help having such experience, can I?
:? So I am just asking around if anyone has the same experience. Of course there are non teacher friends that are the same but my feel is the more they know about the system(ie, the teachers), the more worried they are, isn't that strange like you say?

autumnbronze:

Yes, you can't help your experience, but isn't it strange that you almost always have a similar experience to share .....and don't you think there's been enuff talk on teachers??

To all teachers out there... :grphug:

[corneyAmber]

buds, I am sorry you missed the point totally.

If I harp on a tree and miss the forest, then I should shoot myself.

[DesertWind]

I am beginning to think it is a good idea actually to escape the system and do home-schooling instead. Home-schooling used to be such an alien concept to me but given the current SG schooling environment, those who can’t catch up risk getting "labeled" by psychologist. Now I can understand why some would choose to escape all the "hype" and "noise" of the school environment and do home-schooling. If this is indeed a doable alternative…

[buds]

I'm sure i didn't.


Sometimes people write what they feel strongly abt and may not realize how it is being read/perceived and while it may not be how the writer intended it to be. It takes great reflection to look back or read back at what was written... ( and boi there are plenty!!! )... btwn the lines or on the dot.

Aniwaes, the thread is also abt taking children to psychologists leh. Let's not again go into teachers. As a mod, it is also a responsibility to keep to topic right? :evil: Cos by asking for other parents' experience with \"such teachers you've had so many experiences with\"... it WILL rally on & spiral into the oh well... teacher talk again.

Now let's get back to the thread at hand. :rubhands:

Discuss issues. Enough abt people. Teachers included. :please: