Child Underperforms Because Tested Above Cognitive Level

[corneyAmber]

2ppaamm:

ksi:

[quote=\"2ppaamm\"] Not all of us need to be #1 to do well. Let him be different. Let him be him.


I'm sure, your child will thank you forever for it. Think about it. There are more ways than one to survive. Find yours.

I think only YOU will believe me if I share that our goal for our child is not chasing for #1.

We want our child to do well but being #1 is not one of them, in fact we are always happy to applaud for someone who is #1. And you are right that our child will thank us in future.

Of course I believe you! :hugs:

In Singapore, I find that we are so busy stepping over one another, very few realize that there is space and room for everyone. Yes, we need to applaud others a bit more, so that our kids will also learn to have to right attitude, and the right values.

I travel overseas with the Singapore team sometimes. It is so sad to see that some of them are so happy beating someone else in their clubs, and it does not matter they are #25, and their fellow club member is #26. They are contented. So strange. Academically, since we are already ahead, it really is ok to be #25 and #26. Heh heh... It is whether the kid has performed to his potential that counts.[/quote]Thanks! :hugs: Everyday I watch in pain looking at people trying to \"kill\" each other. They do not realise the joy of sharing the big blue sky over us.

[2ppaamm]

ksi:

Thanks! :hugs: Everyday I watch in pain looking at people trying to \"kill\" each other. They do not realise the joy of sharing the big blue sky over us.

And that's what I believe the education system makes use of. They know the kiasu parent mentality :siao: and leveraging it has worked for decades. Unknowingly, our kids or the next generation as a whole become innocent targets. So sad... Time to break that cycle...

We should work toward maximizing our kids' potential and helping our kids find their passion rather than aiming to help our kids beat their peers.

[corneyAmber]

2ppaamm:

ksi:

Thanks! :hugs: Everyday I watch in pain looking at people trying to \"kill\" each other. They do not realise the joy of sharing the big blue sky over us.

And that's what I believe the education system makes use of. They know the kiasu parent mentality :siao: and leveraging it has worked for decades. Unknowingly, our kids or the next generation as a whole become innocent targets. So sad... Time to break that cycle...

We should work toward maximizing our kids' potential and helping our kids find their passion rather than aiming to help our kids beat their peers.

Well said! It takes parents who sit under the enlightened tree for long periods to see it. :udawoman:

[psle2011mum]

Does this sound like what we have become?


We seldom consider how much of our lives we must render in return for some object we barely want, seldom need, buy only because it was put before us...And this is understandable given the workings of our system where without a job we perish, where if we don't want a job and are happy to get by we are labeled irresponsible, non-contributing leeches on society. But if we hire a fleet of bulldozers, tear up half the countryside and build some monstrous factory, casino or mall, we are called entrepreneurs, job-creators, stalwarts of the community. Maybe we should all be shut away on some planet for the insane. Then again, maybe that is where we are.”
― Ferenc Máté, A Reasonable Life: Toward a Simpler, Secure, More Humane Existence

[janet88]

looking4Tutor:

Chenonceau:

Elections are over, but they will come back and by that time... education will be a hot button.

give them time as they just can't get over with the recent pay cut.

:rotflmao:
Yes, that's a good one...esp those who JUST became ministers.

[Chenonceau]

Do you know how people behave when food rations are being distributed to hungry people without a proper system and structure? People fight and grab. The fittest, most aggressive gets more.


This is what is happening amongst our kids. Everyone is fighting and grabbing because if you don't you will FAIL. You can't even choose to be average because the average mark is a fail. Kids with parent support are more fit, so they get more. In some top schools, the fight can get ugly... and flirt with the boundaries of ethical behavior, with pushy parents playing student politics.

Why have we impoverished ourselves so in this day and age? The quality of life for our children is today so very poor compared to what we lived through. We need a proper system and structure to temper all this grabbing, and discourage it.

The system should not reward grabbing.

[Chenonceau]

janet_lee88:

:rotflmao:

Yes, that's a good one...esp those who JUST became ministers.

Yes... I am disappointed that Minister Heng spends much of his time now defending the MOE position instead of listening to our pain. MOE management has brainwashed him with statistics and nice American theories.

A Mother's Pain
http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?p=710712#p710712

[looking4Tutor]

Chenonceau:

We need a proper system and structure to temper all this grabbing, and discourage it.

The system is within thyself.

[Chenonceau]

looking4Tutor:

Chenonceau:

We need a proper system and structure to temper all this grabbing, and discourage it.

The system is within thyself.

I disagree.

[Chenonceau]

2ppaamm:

I started to question the rationale of our education when DS1 was P3. Wow... that was 9 years ago. I became disillusioned with our education system just three years after my first born went into the system. Yet, my son was not at all a poor academic performer. He was always in the best class, and even topped the school in P3. But he was not happy.


I knew something had to be done, or he will lose all his passion. I had to 'invent' or think up something so as to keep his academic love alive and well. Afterall, in Singapore, when you are successful academically, more than half the battle is won.

Though I am a competitive person, but I am strongly against Darwinian's theory, or the survival of the fittest, especially in the education system. Certainly, this planet can absorb more than the ultimate conqueror. Our education system is set up to identify that ultimate winner, and as if that really matters. And unfortunately, parents support and play along.

Yes, parents are also culprits which results in this unrealistic pre-university education. Our Sec 1's are covering 'O' levels syllabus, our primary school kids are covering secondary school work. And, it is therefore not surprising that when our children finish their 12 years of education and ready to go to the university, they are overprepared, and often, burnt out. This is the result of parents all wanting their children to be the top in their school/class/level/country. But this expectation is not realistic! And sadly, they don't even fare well compared to their peers from other countries who are 'less' prepared. I believe it is because they have lost their creativity along the way, being clamped down for 12 years trying to find only the 'right' answers.

This is a catch-22, MOE sets a high standard, everyone aces, then MOE sets a higher standard, everyone chases again. At some point, the children will crumble. As it is, as rightfully pointed out by that Chinese parent mentioned on this forum, they are already losing their childhood. How can a good, memorable childhood be more important than learning things to be repeated in the university? This puzzles me.

MOE needs to stop raising the bar in response to enriched kids. Don't reward these enriched kids with the highest scores. Test what the system can reasonably teach, and reward the children who work hard and conscientiously to cover all the material taught. Don't make these children without access to enrichment, feel like losers. Don't make the Teachers feel like losers because they know that it is humanly impossible for them to make a difference to the kids they teach. This demotivates teachers.