NAFA School of Young Talents - Discussion

[phankao]

lwzh:

phankao:

[quote=\"lwzh\"]Wah, phanKao, your son is already an advanced player. How old is he? Where does he study? He got his diploma already?


I still have a long way to go.

He's 12 and working on diploma. Private instructor.

He is great. He shall got grade 8 with distinction since u mentioned he also got rewards from piano competition. Did he attend national piano and violin competition? Who is his teacher? I know last year the piano first prize was not from nafa.[/quote]haha. Yes, has been on high-score list for exams. He does chinese instrument, so no NPVC.

[Dreamaurora]

lwzh:

Nafa focus on the techniques, and the practice is quite boring. He only learns one to two pieces in two to three months( the tone quality of each note is refined). His previous teacher give him 2-3 new pieces each week, so he is musical and good at sight reading. That's why some kids lost interest. But nafa teach professional performance technique, this is what some kids want and need.


I scolded my son not because of joining nafa. Most of time it's his attitude problem, e.g. He told me he practiced one hour, but I found he only did it 20 minutes after I checked with maid. Or he made an obvious mistake but refuse to admit it or change it. Of course sometimes it's because I am too demanding or impatient.

A serious question to you: do you seriously want your son to associate piano with shouting and cane?

To elaborate more, there are other more positive ways to encourage your son to practice and achieve a high standard. Based on your own admission, you thrusted your son into a world of professional piano training even though you are aware that this may cause lost of interest and musicality. And it seems your participation in your son's musical activity is minimal, judging that you checked his practice through the maid and scolded him for his mistakes. Try to put yourself in your son's shoes and you may be able to understand why your son behave that way.

Anyway, let me offer you some positive options. Try to to be more proactive in your son's practice. Make time to sit down with him and practice. Listen to recordings and go to concerts together. Stage mini informal concerts at your home and invite your relative to hear him play. Praise him when he made improvements instead of punishing his mistakes. Cultivate his love for music first. The world of professional piano training is very pressurising and without genuine love for music burnout is a very high possibility.

[lwzh]

Thank you for so many proactive advices and suggestion. I will try to correct my own part. But as a singaporean kid (always busy schedule) and a full time working mother. I must train the kid to do time management and displine himself from young age. Otherwise he will waste half day and depending on his mom with a short night time. Yes, we regularly go to concert, and we also organize mini concert with his friends. But both mom and son have our own problem, you know.

[Dreamaurora]

lwzh:

Thank you for so many proactive advices and suggestion. I will try to correct my own part. But as a singaporean kid (always busy schedule) and a full time working mother. I must train the kid to do time management and displine himself from young age. Otherwise he will waste half day and depending on his mom with a short night time. Yes, we regularly go to concert, and we also organize mini concert with his friends. But both mom and son have our own problem, you know.

Yes, I understand where you are coming from. But for him to be truly happy, your son's desire to succeed must truly come from himself, and not because it is imposed by the parents. I make this very clear to all parents of my students. Good results should be natural results of the students' love for music, and so far from my experience this is very true. All parents want to see their children successful and I as a father-to-be will want to see my son successful also in the future. But what I will do is to guide him to that path where he achieve that out of his own free will. If your son does indeed become succesful despite all the pressure and pain, there is a good chance he may despise you in the future. Would you want to see that happen? You can read 'Battle Hymns of the Tiger Mother' by Amy Chua to understand this better.

[phankao]

Dreamaurora:

lwzh:

Thank you for so many proactive advices and suggestion. I will try to correct my own part. But as a singaporean kid (always busy schedule) and a full time working mother. I must train the kid to do time management and displine himself from young age. Otherwise he will waste half day and depending on his mom with a short night time. Yes, we regularly go to concert, and we also organize mini concert with his friends. But both mom and son have our own problem, you know.

Yes, I understand where you are coming from. But for him to be truly happy, your son's desire to succeed must truly come from himself, and not because it is imposed by the parents. I make this very clear to all parents of my students. Good results should be natural results of the students' love for music, and so far from my experience this is very true. All parents want to see their children successful and I as a father-to-be will want to see my son successful also in the future. But what I will do is to guide him to that path where he achieve that out of his own free will. If your son does indeed become succesful despite all the pressure and pain, there is a good chance he may despise you in the future. Would you want to see that happen? You can read 'Battle Hymns of the Tiger Mother' by Amy Chua to understand this better.

Ah ... my younger boy is like Amy Chua's younger daughter. Need to treat carefully. But I really admire her thoroughness!!! She engages a junior teacher to coach and watch her daughter's practices in between lessons and woah, the daily practice notes she writes up - so detailed!!!! *faint*. I think my son would have used it as \"rough paper\".

[lwzh]

Actually I hear a lot of stories that adult are thankful to their parents because their strictness and insisting. And someone are regret they give up music too early. Actually until now Lang Lang thanks his father instead of hating him. Amy chua’s two daughts love her very much. Of course, we should try our best to derive sweet fruits. But for most people, life is tough. No pain, no gain.

[Dreamaurora]

lwzh:

Actually I hear a lot of stories that adult are thankful to their parents because their strictness and insisting. And someone are regret they give up music too early. Actually until now Lang Lang thanks his father instead of hating him. Amy chua's two daughts love her very much. Of course, we should try our best to derive sweet fruits. But for most people, life is tough. No pain, no gain.

For Amy Chua, you do realise that her two daughters in the end rebelled against her right? It's only then she realised what was happening and finally changed her approach. For Lang Lang, well, for PR purpose of course he has to say he thanks his father lar. Just like how a certain minister said that he never watches pornography. And definition of 'strict' can vary widely between people. I am strict with my students and I do not mince my words with them, but I never raised my voice nor say words like 'stupid' or 'useless'. One teacher I know of do that and of course for her 'strict' means quite different.

I am actually speaking from my personal experience. I was one of those stellar students who did extremely well in academics. One point I just broke down and refused to communicate with my parents for years because I was so fed up with trying to maintain a facade of excellence. But anyway, I am just sharing my views. If you are truly convicted about your parenting style, then that is your right. Only time will tell.

[phankao]

Dreamaurora:

lwzh:

Actually I hear a lot of stories that adult are thankful to their parents because their strictness and insisting. And someone are regret they give up music too early. Actually until now Lang Lang thanks his father instead of hating him. Amy chua's two daughts love her very much. Of course, we should try our best to derive sweet fruits. But for most people, life is tough. No pain, no gain.

For Amy Chua, you do realise that her two daughters in the end rebelled against her right? It's only then she realised what was happening and finally changed her approach. For Lang Lang, well, for PR purpose of course he has to say he thanks his father lar. Just like how a certain minister said that he never watches pornography. And definition of 'strict' can vary widely between people. I am strict with my students and I do not mince my words with them, but I never raised my voice nor say words like 'stupid' or 'useless'. One teacher I know of do that and of course for her 'strict' means quite different.

I am actually speaking from my personal experience. I was one of those stellar students who did extremely well in academics. One point I just broke down and refused to communicate with my parents for years because I was so fed up with trying to maintain a facade of excellence. But anyway, I am just sharing my views. If you are truly convicted about your parenting style, then that is your right. Only time will tell.

Well, for Lang Lang, when his teacher quit on him, his father said he might as well be dead, and suggested that he either take pills or jump off from their apartment to kill himself. Lang Lang was so appalled that his father would want him dead if he couldn't be the best pianist that he refused to touch the piano for many many months. His father realised his mistake and begged him to start playing again. Now, see, that's how Lang Lang got his \"upper hand\" in the situation in the end. Of course, it can't be said that Lang Lang was not hardworking on his own, just that he resented his father pushing him so hard.

He also resented his father for throwing away his beloved toys - transformers, just because he felt that he didn't practise enough.

And when they went to the USA, there came a point when Lang Lang's father felt he was getting bad influences from public school, disapproved of him mixing with those kids, etc., that he \"threatened to go home\". To which, Lang Lang said he was welcome to go back since he didn't need him in the USA. Once again, of course Lang Lang went to call his father back lah. But he showed that his father shouldn't threaten or try to push too hard lor.

His books - autobiography \"Journey of a Thousand Miles: My Story\" and \"Lang Lang: Playing with Flying Keys.\" are an interesting read. Can borrow from the National Library.

[Dreamaurora]

phankao:

Dreamaurora:

[quote=\"lwzh\"]Actually I hear a lot of stories that adult are thankful to their parents because their strictness and insisting. And someone are regret they give up music too early. Actually until now Lang Lang thanks his father instead of hating him. Amy chua's two daughts love her very much. Of course, we should try our best to derive sweet fruits. But for most people, life is tough. No pain, no gain.

For Amy Chua, you do realise that her two daughters in the end rebelled against her right? It's only then she realised what was happening and finally changed her approach. For Lang Lang, well, for PR purpose of course he has to say he thanks his father lar. Just like how a certain minister said that he never watches pornography. And definition of 'strict' can vary widely between people. I am strict with my students and I do not mince my words with them, but I never raised my voice nor say words like 'stupid' or 'useless'. One teacher I know of do that and of course for her 'strict' means quite different.

I am actually speaking from my personal experience. I was one of those stellar students who did extremely well in academics. One point I just broke down and refused to communicate with my parents for years because I was so fed up with trying to maintain a facade of excellence. But anyway, I am just sharing my views. If you are truly convicted about your parenting style, then that is your right. Only time will tell.

Well, for Lang Lang, when his teacher quit on him, his father said he might as well be dead, and suggested that he either take pills or jump off from their apartment to kill himself. Lang Lang was so appalled that his father would want him dead if he couldn't be the best pianist that he refused to touch the piano for many many months. His father realised his mistake and begged him to start playing again. Now, see, that's how Lang Lang got his \"upper hand\" in the situation in the end. Of course, it can't be said that Lang Lang was not hardworking on his own, just that he resented his father pushing him so hard.

He also resented his father for throwing away his beloved toys - transformers, just because he felt that he didn't practise enough.

And when they went to the USA, there came a point when Lang Lang's father felt he was getting bad influences from public school, disapproved of him mixing with those kids, etc., that he \"threatened to go home\". To which, Lang Lang said he was welcome to go back since he didn't need him in the USA. Once again, of course Lang Lang went to call his father back lah. But he showed that his father shouldn't threaten or try to push too hard lor.

His books - autobiography \"Journey of a Thousand Miles: My Story\" and \"Lang Lang: Playing with Flying Keys.\" are an interesting read. Can borrow from the National Library.[/quote]Ah yes, the story of how his dad asking him to commit suicide is very popular. I should pick up that book and read it one day. Got to admit though, he has balls, not easy to stand your ground with your parents, a choice I had to painfully make last time as well. I suspect most Chinese children with similar parents would just suck it up and keep quiet, essentialy a walking a time bomb.

[phankao]

Dreamaurora:

Good results should be natural results of the students' love for music, and so far from my experience this is very true. All parents want to see their children successful and I as a father-to-be will want to see my son successful also in the future. But what I will do is to guide him to that path where he achieve that out of his own free will.

So you will be teaching your son piano too? ;D